| Humor Fiction posted July 16, 2013 |
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How much TV can a person watch
What's on TV Tonight
by jmdg1954
Okay, the time has come to write something. Ryder, help Grandpa, I haven't posted a single word in a month. Just have not had any time. These blasted summer TV series are consuming my nights, taking over my free time. Whoever invented the DVR should be sh... Nah, they shouldn't be shot. They should be commended! How else could I watch, Under the Dome, Franklin and Bash or Major Crimes at different times, whenever I want? Rizzoli and Isles, those sleuths from Boston and Perception, with that madly intelligent, small town college Professor who talks to a vision while making love to the real person. Don't forget King and Maxwell. Hmm, she can frisk me anytime. I can watch the recorded episode, any time I want.
But every night there are more and more shows to watch. I never have time to write. There's Master Chef, with that bitch, what's her name? The Next Food Network Star has a couple of hottie contestants, plus Giada, is one of the hosts. Mamma mia, che bella. Then there's Chopped, challenging those chefs with off the wall ingredients, having to prepare an appetizer, entre and dessert.
Maybe I'll sign up for a FanStory contest. That could motivate me to write a little isomething. Besides, It'll give me a deadline to work towards.
There's no time to look at it now, So You Think You Can Dance comes on in twenty minutes. Can't wait to see what those tap-dancers do tonight. And Fik-Shun, a hip hop, self taught street dancer with no ballroom training is kicking dancer butt! Gotta see how he does.
Oh crap! I'm three episodes behind in Jeopardy, plus tonights. When am I going to fit those in? Let me think. If I skip the commercials I can do an episode in about eighteen minutes... I can watch one ... Thank God for DVR's... Then I still have the Macy's firework special from July 4th to watch ...
Darn it! I have two shows scheduled to record starting at nine o'clock, which means I won't be able to watch "live" TV. It'll have to be something already taped... This is so confusing, its like I need an excel spreadsheet to keep me on track, or hire a Certified DVR Manager.
Better yet, I'll just ask Deb she'll know what to do, wives are always right...
Oh no. The DVR is ninety-four percent fully recorded. Of course, she has six episodes of General Hospital still to watch and some Bold and the Beautiful. I don't have room for tonight's scheduled recording. HELP!
Whoa! Something just clicked. I know what I can write about. I went for the lap-top. Noooo! Debbie's watching a movie on it.
Fine. I have paper. I have pencils. I can do this the old fashioned way, with sweat and determination.
I wrote nonstop for a half hour. The once sharp, #2 pencils are down to a rounded nub and my pink pearl eraser is exhausted from its constant rubdown. Finally, my essay was complete and ready to post on FanStory.
Okay, I have the photo from FanArt, now for a title. I need a title... Hmmmm? How about... "How to..." I got it! "How to Make the Most of Your Free Time"?
Okay, the time has come to write something. Ryder, help Grandpa, I haven't posted a single word in a month. Just have not had any time. These blasted summer TV series are consuming my nights, taking over my free time. Whoever invented the DVR should be sh... Nah, they shouldn't be shot. They should be commended! How else could I watch, Under the Dome, Franklin and Bash or Major Crimes at different times, whenever I want? Rizzoli and Isles, those sleuths from Boston and Perception, with that madly intelligent, small town college Professor who talks to a vision while making love to the real person. Don't forget King and Maxwell. Hmm, she can frisk me anytime. I can watch the recorded episode, any time I want.
But every night there are more and more shows to watch. I never have time to write. There's Master Chef, with that bitch, what's her name? The Next Food Network Star has a couple of hottie contestants, plus Giada, is one of the hosts. Mamma mia, che bella. Then there's Chopped, challenging those chefs with off the wall ingredients, having to prepare an appetizer, entre and dessert.
Maybe I'll sign up for a FanStory contest. That could motivate me to write a little isomething. Besides, It'll give me a deadline to work towards.
There's no time to look at it now, So You Think You Can Dance comes on in twenty minutes. Can't wait to see what those tap-dancers do tonight. And Fik-Shun, a hip hop, self taught street dancer with no ballroom training is kicking dancer butt! Gotta see how he does.
Oh crap! I'm three episodes behind in Jeopardy, plus tonights. When am I going to fit those in? Let me think. If I skip the commercials I can do an episode in about eighteen minutes... I can watch one ... Thank God for DVR's... Then I still have the Macy's firework special from July 4th to watch ...
Darn it! I have two shows scheduled to record starting at nine o'clock, which means I won't be able to watch "live" TV. It'll have to be something already taped... This is so confusing, its like I need an excel spreadsheet to keep me on track, or hire a Certified DVR Manager.
Better yet, I'll just ask Deb she'll know what to do, wives are always right...
Oh no. The DVR is ninety-four percent fully recorded. Of course, she has six episodes of General Hospital still to watch and some Bold and the Beautiful. I don't have room for tonight's scheduled recording. HELP!
Whoa! Something just clicked. I know what I can write about. I went for the lap-top. Noooo! Debbie's watching a movie on it.
Fine. I have paper. I have pencils. I can do this the old fashioned way, with sweat and determination.
I wrote nonstop for a half hour. The once sharp, #2 pencils are down to a rounded nub and my pink pearl eraser is exhausted from its constant rubdown. Finally, my essay was complete and ready to post on FanStory.
Okay, I have the photo from FanArt, now for a title. I need a title... Hmmmm? How about... "How to..." I got it! "How to Make the Most of Your Free Time"?
 Recognized |
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I don't really watch all those TV shows mentioned above. The summer replacements schedule is packed with some good police drama. We do enjoy the Food Network shows and competitions, with the exception of Hells Kitchen. Way to much vulgarity bleeped out for me.
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