Know Thyself

One of the segments in Counselor Selling is the discussion of the Johari Window. For the class, it was depicted as a quadrant and supposedly defined human characteristics when communicating with one another. This was the real reason for my contacting Larry Wilson when I returned from Saudi Arabia and resulted in his invitation to Pecos River Learning Center. It also was the cause of my epiphany in 1982.

The quadrant was shown as four separate chambers in rectangular shape. The sections were marked as Analytical and Driver from top left to top right and Amiable and Expressive from bottom left to bottom right. Additionally, each section was subdivided in the same way so that the result would be sixteen potential character traits to communicate with. The top left quadrant would then contain A-A, Analytical-Analytical; A-D, Analytical-Driver; A-A, Analytical-Amiable and A-E, Analytical-Expressive. To the right, it would be D-A, Driver-Analytical and so on through all the quadrants. The entire scope from Analytical-Analytical through Expressive-Expressive would encompass all personality traits.

Through conversation, observation and behavior, we would be able to find the best kind of relationship to establish with the prospect - not to be devious, but to maximize meaningful communication. Each quadrant was expanded upon during the class with video examples of meetings conducted with these thoughts in mind. I found it very interesting. At the end of this session, we were asked to list the names of the other attendees and place them in the block we were communicating in as related to our personal relationship. No one placed me where I thought I was. That was a huge wakeup call for me. Perception of me has absolutely nothing to do with how others see me.

It is important to understand that this is not about judgment. It is about awareness. First of all, it is situational in nature and the topic of the communication is all important. Our window will express different traits to communicate with about sports, recipes, babies, goals and such, so that we all navigate this window differently based upon our interest and attention level for the topic. If we are enjoying the banter back and forth, we learn from each other so that we both build a greater understanding of the topic at hand. I drew the Johari window on a white board and asked Larry,

"Larry, can we agree that the uppermost left corner of the Analytical block could constitute our day of birth? We are totally anal at birth, right?"

"Agreed," he says.

"If so, as we learn our environment our mind would move to the right towards the Driver block until our intellect and knowledge is ample enough to make our own decisions. Can we agree on that?"

"Absolutely."

"Great. From that same starting point, if we move downwards towards the Amiable block, we develop our emotional capability. This is probably the first development block we reach if we have loving parents. Agreed?"

"That makes a lot of sense," he replies.

"If both blocks are available to us because we have developed both directions, we wind up in the Expressive block, right?"

"Correct," he retorts.

"This is where I saw something different," I say.

"If we look at this window as a two-dimensional view, we lose further understanding. We live in a three-dimensional universe and we could use the same categories depicted in the window on a sphere. Our mind is like any other orb in the sky; it orbits, rotates and when it meets another mind, the communication that follows is based upon its attitude. When minds meet, they try to establish a Common Ground in order to explore any topic. They need an "attitude check" for meaningful conversation to enhance both. The deeper the minds share their view, the more the common ground strengthens. Does that make sense?" I ask.

"Wow!" he replies.

"The horizontal line is digital/frequency in nature and the vertical is analog/amplitude. How well our left hemisphere processes communication can be measured by IQ (Intelligence Quotient) tests and right hemisphere can be measured by EQ (Emotional Quotient) tests, so that we can know where we are. Horizontal/frequency also provides the sense of sequence and Vertical /Amplitude provides our sense of balance. The last thing I realized is that the magnitude of the sphere is limited by the understanding of both intelligence and emotion. There are huge minds and little minds, right?"

That's when he bolted upright and went to gather his staff for me to present the same ideas to them. I hadn't finished, but he did not need to hear more. I had much more explaining to do with his staff. Larry is a very intelligent man.

There are other ways of looking at this concept. Another course I attended defined the Johari categories as Unconscious Incompetent (Analytical), Conscious Incompetent (Driver), Unconscious Competent (Amiable) and Conscious Competent (Expressive).

One ancient Asian proverb also conveys this idea:

"He who knows not and knows not that he knows not (Analytical) is a fool; shun him.

He who knows not and knows he knows not (Driver) is a student; teach him.

He who knows and knows not that he knows (Amiable) is asleep; wake him.

He who knows and knows that he knows (Expressive) is wise; follow him."

Again, keep in mind that this is not judgment - it is for any topic we communicate about. There are "idiots savants" who can perform functions far beyond the average person, but lack knowledge in many other areas. Prodigies can sometimes fall into the same comparison. When Bobby Fischer was chess champion of the world, it came as a surprise how ignorant he was about most of what occupies our daily life. "Judge not lest ye be judged," is the motto of wisdom.

Analyticals who do not want to learn their way out of their self-made prison have no idea how to control their lives, or even their thoughts. They are ignorant and apathetic. What's the difference between Ignorance and Apathy? Don't know, don't care! When Jesus said not to cast pearls before swine, this is the attitude he meant. It's not that they cannot be helped; it is that they will not help themselves. They live in a constant state of denial. Virtually all evil, misery, crime and aberrant behavior come from this group. They need to care to know.

Drivers gravitate into leadership positions (normally corporate business leaders and politicians in this country) and form organizations to maintain control and power. They interact with each other to keep the underlings out of balance. These people are the ones responsible for destroying Mother Earth with their greed. They are the Yang of Society and have huge egos. We could compare them to the existing Republican Party. They need to know to care.

Amiables live by emotion first. Their feelings are easily manipulated and they do much social and charitable work. They are family oriented and the Yin of Society. We could compare this group to the Democratic Party of today. They need to know they care.

Expressives are entrepreneurs and independent. They want to know more and they care about what they know. They want to care more and they know what to care about. They have a balanced approach to life and are normally the first to have a group gather around them when at a party or a meeting. They are the ones that the book "Good to Great" refers to. This group is where our leaders should be coming from.

If we were to consider the dividing lines in the Johari window as 100, signifying the average in the population, we would find a disproportionately low number that satisfies the Expressive requirement of both hemispheres functioning above average. There are not enough true leaders. How can we improve this?

"There is only one good - knowledge; and one evil - ignorance." Socrates.

The first step to improvement is admitting our ignorance. The next is to remove it with knowledge. If apathy prevents us from taking this first step and working forward, we will stay prisoners of our own making. However, we are already born with perfect knowledge in our subconscious mind (Operating System) so the only thing we need is know what is NOT true knowledge. When I was managing, I had a plaque hanging behind my desk. It read "I can handle the worse truth much more easily than the best lie." We have to stop lying to ourselves to improve ourselves and society. We have to put ego in its proper place. We have to agree on everyone's common goals, set the priorities for all, develop the methods for attaining those goals and get to work on cleaning up the planet for our children and their children. If apathy creeps in, please step out of line and let the next person take your place. You can lead or follow - just don't stand in the way.

"Honesty is the first chapter of Wisdom." - Thomas Jefferson

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie - deliberate, contrived, and dishonest - but the myth - persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic." - John F. Kennedy.

"Personal transformation can and does have global effects. As we go, so goes the world, for the world is us. The revolution that will save the world is ultimately a personal one." - Marianne Williamson

Next chapter starts to transformation process.