Old, forgotten memories kneel in front of stunned snippets of my life. I lived with deep joy for a time.
Today we sit across the table. The glasses between us have our lips traces.

 I grab your arm pushing my nails into your flesh. Blood gushing in streams trickles down my fingers.

“Does it hurt? “

 You look defiant despise every drop of blood that sips greedy on my finger. With one motion you clean yourself up, slam the door, and leave.

After the door is closed, all the pressing darkness beyond the windows becomes tyrannical and I feel unsettled.

 Walls disappear, space, including the ceiling where a gray spider web still retains its luster seems compressed by an unseen centrifugal force.

Our discussion still hanging on, suspended in the air, sticking to the decomposing walls. I wipe off the blood trickling easily on my fingers.

The memory lines of our egos are shaken by grief and fatigue. The cold outside suddenly materializes in the soul.

I lie on the cold floor and listen cautious to all the familiar noises (city, street, house, and yard) as they perish in the dark. When night arrives stealthily, like a beast from another hemisphere, you return home.

 I have built myself in the rhythm of life in two and I touched happiness. A permanent feeling of contentment enriched my soul for a long time.

 I sit on your lap and touch your tired face. You shudder, breathing jerky and looking in my eyes. With your right hand you play with my hair and I slither my lips on your neck stopping just below your ear.

“Do not be afraid, I will not bite.”

 I kiss you just below the ear so the sound of my lips touching your skin will remain imprinted in the memory of your eardrum. I nest deeper into yourself and your eyes cry of joy now.

I know what created a distance between us. We became lost in the catacombs of our lives and we emerged to the surface too late. The wound on your arm looks as an everlasting covenant.

But I cannot forgive. Not so easy. My mind made up and broke down scripts of diabolical plans to punish you I won’t be able to follow through.  The effervescent blood in me now takes some of the blame.

Your hope is that in your arms I’ll forget how you have abandoned me. Suddenly an evil laugh just takes over me and my eyes fill with passion.

 I take a knife placed strategically on the table. I play with the blade on your chest. I stop at the heart and I plunge it in three times ... each time deeper ... blood coming out is accompanied by a short scream.

With lust I lick the blood on the knife and play with the blade on my tongue.

You look in my eyes and capture your cruel death. I get my lips close to your ear and whisper “Now I’ve really forgiven you!”