| Commentary and Philosophy Non-Fiction posted April 23, 2011 |
  |
Lessons learned and not forgotten
Strip Away the Ugliness
by bhogg
About twenty-five years ago, my company signed me up for an expensive education venue. This two week course was provided to people in the organization identified as 'up and comers.'
Due to the intensity of the course, it was held in the boon-docks of upstate New York. Driving into the compound, I could easily imagine driving into a summer camp. The campus was defined by little cottages nestled within tall shaded trees. Each building was made of rustic, weathered wood. Even though it was early Fall, there was a definite chill in the air. Inhaling deeply, I said to myself, this ain't half-bad.
When I checked into my cabin, I saw a note indicating that a meeting with my assigned psychologist was within the hour. This was a meeting that I remember to this day.
I was greeted in the office by a very attractive woman who I guessed to be about forty years old, my age at the time. Consistent with the woodsy setting, she was wearing jeans and a light sweater. The sweater was tight enough to indicate a very nice figure. This did not look like an academic to me. Our meeting got off a bit awkward.
Sticking her hand out, she introduced herself. "Hi. My name is Pearl. I'm the staff psych assigned to your group." She had a copy of my application in her hand. Glancing down, and then looking at me, she continued, "Your application says William. Do you go by that or by Bill?"
"Bill works fine."
"Well, Bill, we have a bit of a problem. Your original application had your marital status as married. Your current paper work indicates that you're divorced."
Smiling, I said, "I have been recently divorced, but don't really see why that would be relevant at all."
"By itself, it means nothing, but our literature is clear. The next two weeks are quite intense, and we recommend that people who have gone through emotional situations of any kind think twice before attempting this course. We must have your full attention for this course to work."
Nodding my head, I responded, "I understand. If I had arrived two weeks ago, there may have been problems. Now, I'm comfortable with my situation in life. My company puts high stock in your course and I'm very much looking forward to it."
Smiling, Pearl acquiesced. "Okay, just know that in addition to teaching and monitoring the classes, I am here for each one of you if you want to talk things through.
A little background on the course might help your understanding. Most of the course dealt with a Blake-Mouton Leadership Grid of management styles. The theory being that each manager has a unique style. It doesn't try to change your style, or position one as being better than another. It just forces you to understand what your style is and how that affects your ability to interact with others who might have styles different from your own.
With that as background, I will tell you that it was intense. You're continually working on case studies where you interact with others on your team. The teams are made up of people identified as the best and brightest in their organizations, so there's never a shortage of ego.
The day started right after breakfast and went until a two hour lunch break. It continued until a dinner break followed by homework. On day two, I started running at lunch time with another one of my team members. Shelly was an executive banker from Syracuse. I'm not sure if she was just being polite, or just didn't want me looking at her butt, but we generally ran in tandem. She was a much better runner, so could easily remain in front. I wouldn't have minded.
Shelly was by far, the brightest person there. I got to know her quite well and found out that her biggest peeve was that people didn't take her seriously at work. This may have been influenced by her looks. She was a natural blonde with a dynamite body. To say that she looked like a movie star would unfairly elevate movie stars. We became great friends.
In the third day of our relationship, Shelly and I worked through what I thought a normal situation. For whatever reason, her cabin lost all hot water during the lunch hour. Since we ran together, we both needed showers. Since this is written as non-fiction, I'm obligated to tell the truth. She came to my cabin for her shower. I took mine first, and then when done, would do phone work for my job. Shelly took hers, separately of course. Then we both went to lunch.
The first weekend, Shelly took me home with her to Syracuse. I got to meet her husband Mark and their wonderful daughter Tiffany. It was a short weekend. Shelly wanted to relax on Saturday, so Mark and I went to play racquet ball and then went to watch Tiffany play soccer. Mark and Shelly's relationship and spending time with the cutest little soccer player on Earth was wonderful therapy for me; married people in love. Not something I'd seen in awhile.
I should have been well rested on Monday, but I guess I wasn't. I blew up on one of my team members during an exercise. It felt good at the moment, but later on I felt terrible. One of the ladies on our team, Doris, was an absolute, total bitch. I've been around many women professionally who seem to lean on the tag of, I'm a woman, I deserve special treatment. I don't even remember the trigger point, but I certainly remember what I said. She made a presentation that lacked imagination. Her solution to our team exercise would not have worked in the real world. Her closing argument, "This is what our team will recommend."
Everyone was tired. It was the end of the day. As she looked around, I think she saw resignation. I couldn't do it. My response, "Your recommendation is naive. As you know, we will be judged against other teams. If we present your case, we'll look like idiots. I know it's close to cocktail hour, but I'm not ready to walk in there looking like Bozo."
You could have heard a pin drop. Treated to her best glare, she puffed up and said, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I'm a woman and have managed to become a Vice-President in my company, and I didn't get there by being stupid. I've seen your profile. It says you're a market manager. I don't even know what that is. Do you think it was easy for me to get where I am in my company?"
Perhaps I should have said nothing, but I'd been asked a question. "Doris, I'm not sure that titles adequately describe the scope of your responsibility and certainly not the level of your accomplishment. As to how you've gotten to where you are, I'd have to say because you're a corporate cunt. You're most likely not as qualified as some of your male counterparts, but as a woman you somehow feel entitled. You wouldn't last ten minutes in my company."
Like always, Pearl was monitoring our exercise from a distance. She came to the rescue. "All right, guys, it's been a long day. Let's wrap it up and go get a cocktail." I was treated to a glare from Pearl.
As we walked out, I tried to walk with Shelly. She looked at me with a grimace. She said something I'll never forget. "Bill, you know that my family and I are crazy about you but don't you know that sometimes even when you're right, you're wrong?" I had dinner by myself that night. I was very happy that Shelly had forgiven me enough to run the next day, albeit a quiet run.
The course finally ended. One of the last requirements was to meet one last time with the Psychologist. My time with Pearl came and I sat in her office drinking coffee. She had an engaging habit of looking at you over her glasses. Blowing her hot coffee, she asked, "So, Bill, was the course good for you?"
"Pearl, I've already filled out the evaluation, but I don't mind repeating. This was one of the best courses that I've ever taken."
"Words are cheap, Bill. Is there anything that you plan on doing differently based on what you've learned?"
"Yes. It was revealing to recognize that people have a different way of approaching things than I do. It doesn't mean that I'm right and they are wrong, it just means that we're different. I've gained an appreciation that if you recognize differences and build on them, it's possible to develop better solutions. This can be a lesson learned for work, but in my personal life as well."
Smiling, Pearl responded, "That's wonderful to hear. You are one of the more interesting folks that we've had through in awhile."
"Okay, you've got my curiosity up, why is that?"
Pearl got up and poured us both fresh coffees. "The first thing is to tell you that everyone thought that you and Shelly had a thing going on."
Indignantly, I complained, "Shelly and I became friends, nothing more."
Chuckling, Pearl continued, "I know. She and I interviewed before you. I do have to tell you that I'm impressed that you two developed the friendship that you did. In addition, it was obvious in the team exercises that the two of you always teamed up and came up with great positions. I'm sure that she mentioned that she gets no recognition at her place of work. Everyone thinks she's just a pretty face. She gave you a wonderful compliment. She said you always made her feel like a winner."
I was silent for a moment before my response. "It would be hard to ignore her pretty face, but she's much more than that. She is extremely smart and is totally willing to roll up her sleeves and attack the problem at hand. She is a winner. That's from the professional side. Personally, it was good to know her as well. It caused me to stop and think that maybe there is a Shelly out there for me somewhere."
This caused Pearl to beam. "One of the things that you get at the end of this course is a chart of what your management style is, with suggestions on how to use that to build organizational leadership. Are you curious about what we found?"
"Yes, of course."
With another sip of coffee, Pearl continued, "You actually tracked out with a very unusual management style that we see very rarely."
I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that, so had to ask, "Unusual in what way?"
"I found your style to be enviable. It was one that we clinicians call dynamic synergism. People tend to gravitate toward extremes. As an example, many people are incredibly task oriented, getting the job done no matter what. Others are so people oriented, they won't do anything that might upset others. Your style tends to balance the two. You want to get things done, but rather than through people, with people. Your style should serve you admirably in your career."
With a smile, I replied, "Thanks, Pearl, that's great to hear."
Pearl paused before replying, "Along with kudos, I want to warn you about your back-up style. You can be like a wild-west gunfighter and jerk that back-up style out at the drop of a hat. You need to work on keeping your back-up style in check."
"I liked the sound of dynamic synergism. What would you call my backup style?"
"Well, Bill, I've never seen a scientific tag, so you'll just have to be satisfied with my personal tag. I call it total ass hole! I'm reminded of the situation with Doris. As you know, she left the course after your altercation. After sleeping on it, she realized that you were right. I'm glad that you learned something, but I want you to think about two people you impacted. Shelly you built up and Doris you tore down. You are gifted, but only you can decide how to use those gifts. Any questions before you go?"
"Yes. Can I get a hug?"
About twenty-five years ago, my company signed me up for an expensive education venue. This two week course was provided to people in the organization identified as 'up and comers.'
Due to the intensity of the course, it was held in the boon-docks of upstate New York. Driving into the compound, I could easily imagine driving into a summer camp. The campus was defined by little cottages nestled within tall shaded trees. Each building was made of rustic, weathered wood. Even though it was early Fall, there was a definite chill in the air. Inhaling deeply, I said to myself, this ain't half-bad.
When I checked into my cabin, I saw a note indicating that a meeting with my assigned psychologist was within the hour. This was a meeting that I remember to this day.
I was greeted in the office by a very attractive woman who I guessed to be about forty years old, my age at the time. Consistent with the woodsy setting, she was wearing jeans and a light sweater. The sweater was tight enough to indicate a very nice figure. This did not look like an academic to me. Our meeting got off a bit awkward.
Sticking her hand out, she introduced herself. "Hi. My name is Pearl. I'm the staff psych assigned to your group." She had a copy of my application in her hand. Glancing down, and then looking at me, she continued, "Your application says William. Do you go by that or by Bill?"
"Bill works fine."
"Well, Bill, we have a bit of a problem. Your original application had your marital status as married. Your current paper work indicates that you're divorced."
Smiling, I said, "I have been recently divorced, but don't really see why that would be relevant at all."
"By itself, it means nothing, but our literature is clear. The next two weeks are quite intense, and we recommend that people who have gone through emotional situations of any kind think twice before attempting this course. We must have your full attention for this course to work."
Nodding my head, I responded, "I understand. If I had arrived two weeks ago, there may have been problems. Now, I'm comfortable with my situation in life. My company puts high stock in your course and I'm very much looking forward to it."
Smiling, Pearl acquiesced. "Okay, just know that in addition to teaching and monitoring the classes, I am here for each one of you if you want to talk things through.
A little background on the course might help your understanding. Most of the course dealt with a Blake-Mouton Leadership Grid of management styles. The theory being that each manager has a unique style. It doesn't try to change your style, or position one as being better than another. It just forces you to understand what your style is and how that affects your ability to interact with others who might have styles different from your own.
With that as background, I will tell you that it was intense. You're continually working on case studies where you interact with others on your team. The teams are made up of people identified as the best and brightest in their organizations, so there's never a shortage of ego.
The day started right after breakfast and went until a two hour lunch break. It continued until a dinner break followed by homework. On day two, I started running at lunch time with another one of my team members. Shelly was an executive banker from Syracuse. I'm not sure if she was just being polite, or just didn't want me looking at her butt, but we generally ran in tandem. She was a much better runner, so could easily remain in front. I wouldn't have minded.
Shelly was by far, the brightest person there. I got to know her quite well and found out that her biggest peeve was that people didn't take her seriously at work. This may have been influenced by her looks. She was a natural blonde with a dynamite body. To say that she looked like a movie star would unfairly elevate movie stars. We became great friends.
In the third day of our relationship, Shelly and I worked through what I thought a normal situation. For whatever reason, her cabin lost all hot water during the lunch hour. Since we ran together, we both needed showers. Since this is written as non-fiction, I'm obligated to tell the truth. She came to my cabin for her shower. I took mine first, and then when done, would do phone work for my job. Shelly took hers, separately of course. Then we both went to lunch.
The first weekend, Shelly took me home with her to Syracuse. I got to meet her husband Mark and their wonderful daughter Tiffany. It was a short weekend. Shelly wanted to relax on Saturday, so Mark and I went to play racquet ball and then went to watch Tiffany play soccer. Mark and Shelly's relationship and spending time with the cutest little soccer player on Earth was wonderful therapy for me; married people in love. Not something I'd seen in awhile.
I should have been well rested on Monday, but I guess I wasn't. I blew up on one of my team members during an exercise. It felt good at the moment, but later on I felt terrible. One of the ladies on our team, Doris, was an absolute, total bitch. I've been around many women professionally who seem to lean on the tag of, I'm a woman, I deserve special treatment. I don't even remember the trigger point, but I certainly remember what I said. She made a presentation that lacked imagination. Her solution to our team exercise would not have worked in the real world. Her closing argument, "This is what our team will recommend."
Everyone was tired. It was the end of the day. As she looked around, I think she saw resignation. I couldn't do it. My response, "Your recommendation is naive. As you know, we will be judged against other teams. If we present your case, we'll look like idiots. I know it's close to cocktail hour, but I'm not ready to walk in there looking like Bozo."
You could have heard a pin drop. Treated to her best glare, she puffed up and said, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I'm a woman and have managed to become a Vice-President in my company, and I didn't get there by being stupid. I've seen your profile. It says you're a market manager. I don't even know what that is. Do you think it was easy for me to get where I am in my company?"
Perhaps I should have said nothing, but I'd been asked a question. "Doris, I'm not sure that titles adequately describe the scope of your responsibility and certainly not the level of your accomplishment. As to how you've gotten to where you are, I'd have to say because you're a corporate cunt. You're most likely not as qualified as some of your male counterparts, but as a woman you somehow feel entitled. You wouldn't last ten minutes in my company."
Like always, Pearl was monitoring our exercise from a distance. She came to the rescue. "All right, guys, it's been a long day. Let's wrap it up and go get a cocktail." I was treated to a glare from Pearl.
As we walked out, I tried to walk with Shelly. She looked at me with a grimace. She said something I'll never forget. "Bill, you know that my family and I are crazy about you but don't you know that sometimes even when you're right, you're wrong?" I had dinner by myself that night. I was very happy that Shelly had forgiven me enough to run the next day, albeit a quiet run.
The course finally ended. One of the last requirements was to meet one last time with the Psychologist. My time with Pearl came and I sat in her office drinking coffee. She had an engaging habit of looking at you over her glasses. Blowing her hot coffee, she asked, "So, Bill, was the course good for you?"
"Pearl, I've already filled out the evaluation, but I don't mind repeating. This was one of the best courses that I've ever taken."
"Words are cheap, Bill. Is there anything that you plan on doing differently based on what you've learned?"
"Yes. It was revealing to recognize that people have a different way of approaching things than I do. It doesn't mean that I'm right and they are wrong, it just means that we're different. I've gained an appreciation that if you recognize differences and build on them, it's possible to develop better solutions. This can be a lesson learned for work, but in my personal life as well."
Smiling, Pearl responded, "That's wonderful to hear. You are one of the more interesting folks that we've had through in awhile."
"Okay, you've got my curiosity up, why is that?"
Pearl got up and poured us both fresh coffees. "The first thing is to tell you that everyone thought that you and Shelly had a thing going on."
Indignantly, I complained, "Shelly and I became friends, nothing more."
Chuckling, Pearl continued, "I know. She and I interviewed before you. I do have to tell you that I'm impressed that you two developed the friendship that you did. In addition, it was obvious in the team exercises that the two of you always teamed up and came up with great positions. I'm sure that she mentioned that she gets no recognition at her place of work. Everyone thinks she's just a pretty face. She gave you a wonderful compliment. She said you always made her feel like a winner."
I was silent for a moment before my response. "It would be hard to ignore her pretty face, but she's much more than that. She is extremely smart and is totally willing to roll up her sleeves and attack the problem at hand. She is a winner. That's from the professional side. Personally, it was good to know her as well. It caused me to stop and think that maybe there is a Shelly out there for me somewhere."
This caused Pearl to beam. "One of the things that you get at the end of this course is a chart of what your management style is, with suggestions on how to use that to build organizational leadership. Are you curious about what we found?"
"Yes, of course."
With another sip of coffee, Pearl continued, "You actually tracked out with a very unusual management style that we see very rarely."
I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that, so had to ask, "Unusual in what way?"
"I found your style to be enviable. It was one that we clinicians call dynamic synergism. People tend to gravitate toward extremes. As an example, many people are incredibly task oriented, getting the job done no matter what. Others are so people oriented, they won't do anything that might upset others. Your style tends to balance the two. You want to get things done, but rather than through people, with people. Your style should serve you admirably in your career."
With a smile, I replied, "Thanks, Pearl, that's great to hear."
Pearl paused before replying, "Along with kudos, I want to warn you about your back-up style. You can be like a wild-west gunfighter and jerk that back-up style out at the drop of a hat. You need to work on keeping your back-up style in check."
"I liked the sound of dynamic synergism. What would you call my backup style?"
"Well, Bill, I've never seen a scientific tag, so you'll just have to be satisfied with my personal tag. I call it total ass hole! I'm reminded of the situation with Doris. As you know, she left the course after your altercation. After sleeping on it, she realized that you were right. I'm glad that you learned something, but I want you to think about two people you impacted. Shelly you built up and Doris you tore down. You are gifted, but only you can decide how to use those gifts. Any questions before you go?"
"Yes. Can I get a hug?"
Due to the intensity of the course, it was held in the boon-docks of upstate New York. Driving into the compound, I could easily imagine driving into a summer camp. The campus was defined by little cottages nestled within tall shaded trees. Each building was made of rustic, weathered wood. Even though it was early Fall, there was a definite chill in the air. Inhaling deeply, I said to myself, this ain't half-bad.
When I checked into my cabin, I saw a note indicating that a meeting with my assigned psychologist was within the hour. This was a meeting that I remember to this day.
I was greeted in the office by a very attractive woman who I guessed to be about forty years old, my age at the time. Consistent with the woodsy setting, she was wearing jeans and a light sweater. The sweater was tight enough to indicate a very nice figure. This did not look like an academic to me. Our meeting got off a bit awkward.
Sticking her hand out, she introduced herself. "Hi. My name is Pearl. I'm the staff psych assigned to your group." She had a copy of my application in her hand. Glancing down, and then looking at me, she continued, "Your application says William. Do you go by that or by Bill?"
"Bill works fine."
"Well, Bill, we have a bit of a problem. Your original application had your marital status as married. Your current paper work indicates that you're divorced."
Smiling, I said, "I have been recently divorced, but don't really see why that would be relevant at all."
"By itself, it means nothing, but our literature is clear. The next two weeks are quite intense, and we recommend that people who have gone through emotional situations of any kind think twice before attempting this course. We must have your full attention for this course to work."
Nodding my head, I responded, "I understand. If I had arrived two weeks ago, there may have been problems. Now, I'm comfortable with my situation in life. My company puts high stock in your course and I'm very much looking forward to it."
Smiling, Pearl acquiesced. "Okay, just know that in addition to teaching and monitoring the classes, I am here for each one of you if you want to talk things through.
A little background on the course might help your understanding. Most of the course dealt with a Blake-Mouton Leadership Grid of management styles. The theory being that each manager has a unique style. It doesn't try to change your style, or position one as being better than another. It just forces you to understand what your style is and how that affects your ability to interact with others who might have styles different from your own.
With that as background, I will tell you that it was intense. You're continually working on case studies where you interact with others on your team. The teams are made up of people identified as the best and brightest in their organizations, so there's never a shortage of ego.
The day started right after breakfast and went until a two hour lunch break. It continued until a dinner break followed by homework. On day two, I started running at lunch time with another one of my team members. Shelly was an executive banker from Syracuse. I'm not sure if she was just being polite, or just didn't want me looking at her butt, but we generally ran in tandem. She was a much better runner, so could easily remain in front. I wouldn't have minded.
Shelly was by far, the brightest person there. I got to know her quite well and found out that her biggest peeve was that people didn't take her seriously at work. This may have been influenced by her looks. She was a natural blonde with a dynamite body. To say that she looked like a movie star would unfairly elevate movie stars. We became great friends.
In the third day of our relationship, Shelly and I worked through what I thought a normal situation. For whatever reason, her cabin lost all hot water during the lunch hour. Since we ran together, we both needed showers. Since this is written as non-fiction, I'm obligated to tell the truth. She came to my cabin for her shower. I took mine first, and then when done, would do phone work for my job. Shelly took hers, separately of course. Then we both went to lunch.
The first weekend, Shelly took me home with her to Syracuse. I got to meet her husband Mark and their wonderful daughter Tiffany. It was a short weekend. Shelly wanted to relax on Saturday, so Mark and I went to play racquet ball and then went to watch Tiffany play soccer. Mark and Shelly's relationship and spending time with the cutest little soccer player on Earth was wonderful therapy for me; married people in love. Not something I'd seen in awhile.
I should have been well rested on Monday, but I guess I wasn't. I blew up on one of my team members during an exercise. It felt good at the moment, but later on I felt terrible. One of the ladies on our team, Doris, was an absolute, total bitch. I've been around many women professionally who seem to lean on the tag of, I'm a woman, I deserve special treatment. I don't even remember the trigger point, but I certainly remember what I said. She made a presentation that lacked imagination. Her solution to our team exercise would not have worked in the real world. Her closing argument, "This is what our team will recommend."
Everyone was tired. It was the end of the day. As she looked around, I think she saw resignation. I couldn't do it. My response, "Your recommendation is naive. As you know, we will be judged against other teams. If we present your case, we'll look like idiots. I know it's close to cocktail hour, but I'm not ready to walk in there looking like Bozo."
You could have heard a pin drop. Treated to her best glare, she puffed up and said, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I'm a woman and have managed to become a Vice-President in my company, and I didn't get there by being stupid. I've seen your profile. It says you're a market manager. I don't even know what that is. Do you think it was easy for me to get where I am in my company?"
Perhaps I should have said nothing, but I'd been asked a question. "Doris, I'm not sure that titles adequately describe the scope of your responsibility and certainly not the level of your accomplishment. As to how you've gotten to where you are, I'd have to say because you're a corporate cunt. You're most likely not as qualified as some of your male counterparts, but as a woman you somehow feel entitled. You wouldn't last ten minutes in my company."
Like always, Pearl was monitoring our exercise from a distance. She came to the rescue. "All right, guys, it's been a long day. Let's wrap it up and go get a cocktail." I was treated to a glare from Pearl.
As we walked out, I tried to walk with Shelly. She looked at me with a grimace. She said something I'll never forget. "Bill, you know that my family and I are crazy about you but don't you know that sometimes even when you're right, you're wrong?" I had dinner by myself that night. I was very happy that Shelly had forgiven me enough to run the next day, albeit a quiet run.
The course finally ended. One of the last requirements was to meet one last time with the Psychologist. My time with Pearl came and I sat in her office drinking coffee. She had an engaging habit of looking at you over her glasses. Blowing her hot coffee, she asked, "So, Bill, was the course good for you?"
"Pearl, I've already filled out the evaluation, but I don't mind repeating. This was one of the best courses that I've ever taken."
"Words are cheap, Bill. Is there anything that you plan on doing differently based on what you've learned?"
"Yes. It was revealing to recognize that people have a different way of approaching things than I do. It doesn't mean that I'm right and they are wrong, it just means that we're different. I've gained an appreciation that if you recognize differences and build on them, it's possible to develop better solutions. This can be a lesson learned for work, but in my personal life as well."
Smiling, Pearl responded, "That's wonderful to hear. You are one of the more interesting folks that we've had through in awhile."
"Okay, you've got my curiosity up, why is that?"
Pearl got up and poured us both fresh coffees. "The first thing is to tell you that everyone thought that you and Shelly had a thing going on."
Indignantly, I complained, "Shelly and I became friends, nothing more."
Chuckling, Pearl continued, "I know. She and I interviewed before you. I do have to tell you that I'm impressed that you two developed the friendship that you did. In addition, it was obvious in the team exercises that the two of you always teamed up and came up with great positions. I'm sure that she mentioned that she gets no recognition at her place of work. Everyone thinks she's just a pretty face. She gave you a wonderful compliment. She said you always made her feel like a winner."
I was silent for a moment before my response. "It would be hard to ignore her pretty face, but she's much more than that. She is extremely smart and is totally willing to roll up her sleeves and attack the problem at hand. She is a winner. That's from the professional side. Personally, it was good to know her as well. It caused me to stop and think that maybe there is a Shelly out there for me somewhere."
This caused Pearl to beam. "One of the things that you get at the end of this course is a chart of what your management style is, with suggestions on how to use that to build organizational leadership. Are you curious about what we found?"
"Yes, of course."
With another sip of coffee, Pearl continued, "You actually tracked out with a very unusual management style that we see very rarely."
I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that, so had to ask, "Unusual in what way?"
"I found your style to be enviable. It was one that we clinicians call dynamic synergism. People tend to gravitate toward extremes. As an example, many people are incredibly task oriented, getting the job done no matter what. Others are so people oriented, they won't do anything that might upset others. Your style tends to balance the two. You want to get things done, but rather than through people, with people. Your style should serve you admirably in your career."
With a smile, I replied, "Thanks, Pearl, that's great to hear."
Pearl paused before replying, "Along with kudos, I want to warn you about your back-up style. You can be like a wild-west gunfighter and jerk that back-up style out at the drop of a hat. You need to work on keeping your back-up style in check."
"I liked the sound of dynamic synergism. What would you call my backup style?"
"Well, Bill, I've never seen a scientific tag, so you'll just have to be satisfied with my personal tag. I call it total ass hole! I'm reminded of the situation with Doris. As you know, she left the course after your altercation. After sleeping on it, she realized that you were right. I'm glad that you learned something, but I want you to think about two people you impacted. Shelly you built up and Doris you tore down. You are gifted, but only you can decide how to use those gifts. Any questions before you go?"
"Yes. Can I get a hug?"
 Recognized |
|
I was cleaning out some of my files and found paperwork from a training class taken over twenty years ago. Of course, I sat back and reminisced.
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