Today it has hit home to me
the depth of my loss
the months and years we spent
sharing across the miles

the beliefs we grew to know
not religious
but spiritual
of truth
no one else in my life
no one
so empty now
i am barren

little did i know
you were preparing
to leave me
to meet your creator

oh dearest friend
you were such a gift to me
i love you so
but am bereft in this wilderness

i don't know if i am angry
i feel just questions
why and what now
what now

my soul is shattered
you took so much of me with you
i envy you in the light
as i suffer in this darkness

i want to be in that light
but know i must carry on somehow
i spent my life avoiding pain
pain that reaches to the root of my being

i reach for the answers in the light