Within the last year, 7% of American women (3.9 million) who are married or living with someone as a couple were physically abused, and 37% (20.7 million) were verbally or emotionally abused by their spouse or partner. (The Commonwealth Fund, N.Y. 1991)

Every 9 seconds a woman is physically abused by her husband. (The Commonwealth Fund, N.Y. 1991)

The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that 95% of assaults on spouses or ex-spouses are committed by men against women. (Assessing Violent Couples, H. Douglas, Families in Society, 11/91)

Domestic violence is repetitive in nature: about 1 in 5 women victimized by their spouse or ex-spouse reported that they had been a victim of a series of at least 3 assaults in the last 6 months. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, 10/93)

30% of Women presenting with injuries to the emergency department were identified as having injuries caused by battering. (American Journal of Public Health, 1/89)

Pregnancy is a risk factor. Several studies indicate a range of incidence from 17% to 26% of pregnant women. (Public Health Nursing, 9/87)

42% of murdered women are killed by their intimate partners. (FBI's 88-91 Uniform Crime Reports)



So, why don't they leave? 

It seems so simple, doesn't it? After all, nobody deserves to be treated that way. 

Imagine this. Tonight, you pack a few clothes in a suitcase and leave in a car, if you're lucky. If not, catch a bus or a train. Go to a place you've never been before; a women's shelter, surrounded by people you've never met. They're not particularly friendly. They have their own problems to worry about, and in fact, you'd better not leave anything of value lying around your new 'room'. Oh, never mind. You don't have anything of value anyway. You had to leave it all behind. All the memories, the photos, the gifts given to you over the years. Everything you loved, except for your children, who are crying and afraid, and begging you to go home.

You don't have money. If you worked outside the home, you didn't control the finances. Forget about all your personal possessions, because they probably won't be there by tomorrow, if you go back with the police to collect them. Oh, and the bank will be collecting the car next week, now you don't have a way to make the loan repayments. If you do have a job, you're probably going to lose it. Your ex husband will tell everyone how crazy you are. You feel crazy, too, because you miss him. He's the only support you've known for years.

 Your whole world as you know it just vanished. Everything familiar is gone.

Are you thinking this could never happen to you? You'd call a friend, or a family member, right? They'd come running in to rescue you. You'd call the police, and have the bastard arrested the first time he laid a hand on you?

Then you probably didn't grow up in a home where you learned early in life never to expect too much in the way of praise or support. Battered women often come from a childhood background of abuse; verbal, emotional and physical abuse that has already eroded much of their psyche before they even meet the man who will control them in an abusive marriage. 

Friends? Ha! She doesn't have friends, not really. If she gets too close to anyone, the abuser railroads that person right out of her life. She's far too ashamed to admit to her family what's happening in her marriage, or relationship, because it only confirms what they've told her for years -- she's not too smart, or pretty, or worthwhile. Pick one, or pick them all.

Some may say it doesn't matter. If life is that bad, she should leave, no matter what the sacrifice. That's one of the biggest problems. Life isn't that bad. Huh? It's pretty simple. Between the incidences of abuse, life can be wonderful. Her abuser treats her like a queen. He's nice to her, caring and supportive, and she wonders why he can't be like that all the time. 

He's going to come after her, promising her the world, and she'll believe him. His control over her is like barbed wire wrapped around her heart. Going against his will hurts too much, and besides, maybe this time, things will be better. He's the only one who loves her, and she spent her whole life searching for that love. 

What happens to set him off? What turns him into that monster she knows is lurking in the shadows?

She does. She's always the one to blame, in her eyes and in his. He tells her she is responsible for the abuse, and she believes it, even though she doesn't want to. Why? Go back five paragraphs and read it again.

Some women escape only to end up in yet another abusive, controlling relationship. Others are lucky enough to make a clean break, and a good life, but it's rare. 


Frankly, I think a new program is needed, much like the witness protection program in existence today for people in need of a new identity due to their witness status. Sure, it would cost a lot of money to relocate these women and their children, give them new identities and new lives, but I wonder how much it's costing this country right now?

Here are some statistics from The Coalition Against Domestic & Community Violence of Greater Chattanooga:

Domestic Violence not only has personal impacts, but also has economic impacts to society.

Primary Economic Impact Areas are:

• Medical and Mental Health Care
• Lost Productivity in Employment
• Loss of Life
• Law Enforcement
• Criminal Justice System
• Social Services

There are two types of costs related to Domestic Violence.  Tangible costs are direct impact dollars from this problem.  Indirect costs are costs that result from lost productivity and quality of life.

According to the 1993 National Institute of Justice, 2.3 million incidents of domestic violence created tangible costs of $8.8 Billion dollars in medical and mental healthcare ($1.8B) and public services ($7.0B).  Intangible costs of $58 Billion was mainly from loss of Quality of Life and Productivity.  Therefore, the total costs of Domestic Violence is $66.8 Billion.

For the State of Tennessee:IN 2004, there were an estimated 66,619 Incidents of Domestic Violence.
Costs are estimated at $32 Million in Tangible Costs and $10 Million in Intangible Costs for a total of $42 Million.In addition, Tennessee ranked 5th in the nation for Violent Murders of Women (70 domestic violence murders in 2004)

The State of Tennessee Pays!

• $26 Million for probation oversight of offenders
• $14.7 Million for prison costs of Domestic Violence Murders
• $4.4 Million in pretrial jail cost
• $3.2 Million for divorce due to domestic violence
• $920,000 in Domestic Violence custody filing fees
• $70,800 in protection order processing fees

Total Cost to the State $49.9 Million



I bet a lot of women and children could be relocated for $66.8 bIllion dollars a year. Would all of them stay away? No, but given counseling, support, and the help they need to re-establish their lives, I'd be willing to bet there would be a lot who would make a new life and never allow themselves to be treated that way again. I wonder how much we'd save in the future if these children didn't witness the abuse and grow up to be abusive or abused themselves? 

Why can't we have a program like Witsec (The Federal Witness Protection Program)  for domestic abuse? They do it for criminals who help get other criminals off the street to stop them being murdered. Why not for the innocent women and children living in this domestic hell-on-earth? 

Yeah, we're slow learners alright.