Do you have some problems with 'hot and burning butt'?
Does your backside hurt - can you hardly strut?
There's a product now, perfectly designed,
To make deep seated problems vacate your behind.

Doctor Smoothie's Butter for angry butts in pain,
Soothes bottoms swiftly - lets you grin again.
Safe for every bum, whether young or old,
A nifty, thrifty ointment, worth its weight in gold.

Doctor Smoothie's Butter is a wonderful thing,
All those who try it, say it doesn't sting.
Good for sore fannies, suitable for all.
Buy it by the bucket or else in tubes quite small.

Hypoallergenic rub, purely natural,
User friendly salve, sitter-downer's pal.
There's no need to sing 'Old Raw Bottom Blues'.
Put Doc's Butter on your arse and you'll never lose.