Satire Non-Fiction posted August 6, 2008

This work has reached the exceptional level
She thinks she's going to sleep with my husband.

Jezebel's Look

by Janilou

Just blowing off some steam!

It wasn't much of a look. A glance in my direction, with a toss of her long, blonde hair and the slightest edge of a disdainful smile on Jez's lips, and I knew. Here we go again. She doesn't know how well I can read her body language.

I watched her follow my husband around, doting on his every utterance, standing a tad too close; you know what I mean. Or perhaps not. I'll back up a little and explain.

When you are married to a handsome man, you learn to watch your back. Add a fabulous sense of humor and personality-plus to the tall, blond and well-built cowboy scenario and you might as well resign yourself to one fact. Other women will hit on him. 

Do I trust my husband? Absolutely. Do I think he is capable of cheating? Of course he is. He's a man, isn't he? Will he cheat? Not if I can help it!

Years ago, we were socializing with another couple our age, when the wife, Sue, began paying far too much attention to my man. Once we were home, I asked him if he'd noticed. Our conversation went like this.

"Sue likes you."

"What do you mean?" (Men can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes)

"She is after you. She's not particularly happy with her husband, and she wants you to pay attention to her, maybe more."

"You're reading too much into it. She's just being friendly. She's like that with all the men." (Ditto on the comment two lines up)

"My point exactly. Tell you what. I bet I can get her to dye her hair, just because she thinks you would be more attracted to her if she did it."

"No way. She'd never do that. She's not interested in me." 

Heh, heh, heh. Knew I should have bet a trip to Disneyworld on the outcome!

The next time I saw Sue, I mentioned in casual conversation how I was thinking of dyeing my hair bleach-blond but I didn't really want to. Of course she asked me why. I told her my husband thought blond hair was really sexy, but that I just didn't think I could go for that dramatic a change from my natural red-brown hair-color.

Two days later, Sue turned up at our home with the blondest hair you've ever seen come out of a bleach bottle. 

When she thought I wasn't watching (like I'd ever take my eyes off her) she walked up close to my husband and whispered in his ear. 

He snorted and replied, "More like in my nightmares!"

She blushed, and walked away. I was impressed by her ability to be embarrassed - the way she'd been coming on to him right in front of me, I'd started to doubt she had it in her. 

Later, my husband told me she'd whispered, "I bet you see me in your dreams."

I owe that woman. Thanks to her, my husband now believes me when I tell him another woman is after him. Why tell him? Because if she's hot, he's going to notice eventually, no matter how happily married he is and if he knows that I know what she's up to, it keeps him honest.

Now, getting back to the current infatuated female. You know what her look meant, don't you? 

It meant, "I am going to sleep with your husband." 

Too bad she couldn't read my smile, which replied, "You think you are, but honey, you are so wrong. I give that man everything he wants, needs and then some. There's just no room for you in the equation."

I have to admit, I love what my husband does when another woman starts paying him too much attention. He talks about me. He touches me, on the arm, or the shoulder in front of her. He calls me honey, sweetheart, and my nick-name, Jani. I am left in no doubt as to his complete and utter devotion to me, and neither is she, although she's usually trying to pretend it isn't happening.

What this particular Jezebel doesn't know is her obvious flirting alerted my sometimes naive husband to her intentions. Aware she is hitting on him, he will make sure he is never caught alone with her. This can be difficult since he is self-employed in the electrical and construction business and this woman is a client, but he will make sure he contacts her husband, Terry, before going to their home, to be certain he will be there. Her obvious disdain for Terry makes her very unattractive.

The "look" the other day told me all I needed to know. Jez's behavior alone told me her marriage is not happy. She is dissatisfied and searching. She thinks she is sexier than I am. Not going to contest that one. She's younger, thinner and taller, but I'm older and wiser. I know what my man likes, how he likes it and I make sure he gets plenty of it! 

A happy marriage is not something that just happens. It's a daily challenge. My husband and I have been married ten years. We are not only partners but best friends. We like each other and share many interests. We go places together and share hobbies. I listen to him when he comes home and tells me about his hard day. I keep his home clean and picked up, and make sure he has meals he enjoys on the table. When he wants sex, so do I,  which means we usually make love on a daily basis. Even after ten years, it is never boring! 

Men always talk about sex. During conversations on job sites, the conversation inevitably turns to teasing each other about 'getting lucky,' and bemoaning their lack of satisfaction with their sex-lives. The other guys don't believe my man when he tells them he can 'get lucky' at home any time he wants. 

So you see, Jez is facing an up-hill battle. She came over one day, leaving her husband to watch their two small girls, under the pretense of needing to get some information for their house. That's when she gave me the look. 

When she left, my husband turned to me and said, "I don't know what she thinks she wants, but she's not going to find it here." 

I smiled, pulled Jez's knife out of my back, ran it through the dishwasher and used it to cut up apples and make my man one of his favorite pies. Some say a man hungers for only two things - good food and great sex. 

Sorry, Jezebel - my man isn't going to be hungry any time soon.


Just venting! Review if you want to, I don't mind. :-) LOL

I know this doesn't really warrant a STRONG sexual content warning, but it is different subject-matter than most of my work, so I wanted to alert readers to the content.
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