Humor Non-Fiction posted May 21, 2024

This work has reached the exceptional level
a little humor

Grrrr Roar

by victortouche

Oh my friend,
I'm chuckling from extreme,
(oh no, my anger management class)
uh, relatable, frustratable, intolerable,
mismanagement of my non-justifiable
GOD DAMN anger.
I work up just about like you do,
my friends. But in class, they would hear it
as-I woke up just about like criticizing mother
funker. (funk is a real word from music),
(back when I was kool) Kool, you moron, is
kooler than cool. K?
I have a question. No, I already realize I could
just shoot the computer and his (her?) friend,
the !$#^@ printer until I felt better. But,
(you know they now want gun owners to pass a mental stability test?)
the cost! What? Of the ammunition, of course. Geeze. (from Gee Whiz originally, I assume.)
Oh, just in passing, can you believe my daughter believes I have ADHD?
So, I was dumb. I wanted the practice, ( what? The shooting range was closed.).
I wanted the 120 page article for reference. Soooo, I printed it.
Naturally I ran out of paper three times, but this was to be expected
and not a problem. 
Ok, so the color cartridge ran out. So I went out too, 'Twas a nice evening...
Oh, K!?<>,. Ok. Opened the top of the printer/copier/scanner/portable post office/
early AI secratariat, (wait, wasn't that some race horse?) ( I must say that secratary could really run.)
and tried to place a replacement (catchin' all that ass...onance?) cartridge.
The printer suddenly moved the cartridges (no, not my ammo),
and tried to bring my finger along under the razor sharp (must cost too much to round it)
protection roof for the cartridges.?!?? What in the hell do the cartridges need
protection from?!?
So now...tentively, I risk my only functional index finger. Uh, ok, gingerly (ginger is a spice)
(so how does gingerly come from ginger?) (I'll have to look it up) now...
schlumpf schwoompf Jesus H. (why does everyone ask me about the H?) my savior Christ,
I almost lost the finger I point with. (no, not like a dog).
Oh yeah, you talkin' to me?!@#$%  But, naturally, I just maintained my kool.
Soooo, opening my color 6732whynote cartridge pack, I went to place...(ok, hold on, I forgot to remove the old color cartridge)
a new color cartridge. Triumphantly, I now inserted the official replacement. Ha! You little SOBonvoyage.
And, wait a minute, (you have been haven't you?), what the ?? It wouldn't close completely.
Tried it twice more. Decided to not force the fit, after all, occasionally, Quality Control, could be off.
Used to work in Quality Control for Playschool, and I never understood why the rest of the
deptartments seemed to hate me? I tried so hard......
Oh yes, where were we? So, I sighed, and opened another color cartridge pack, and tried it again.
Ha! The little sob (forgot the n), gotcha now. And still it jammed. Sheet whiz, ( yup, that's diff from Gee Sheet).
Huh? So I thought for a minute while the cartridge rack ran amuck trying to take my finger off.
Can't be a quality control issue. What are the odds? Two in a row. No, that's not it.
So, I give up. Ask my girlfriend to come over and look at it. I have the right number cartridge,
it says right (damnit) on the pack-color cartridge.
"Yes, dear, I see that. So why are you putting the black colored cartridge in
the purple colored slot?"
It's just not fair. How was I to know?
The color labeled package...had one of each?!???

Yes, I'm chuckling. And I hope you are too.
And...believe it or not, this is all true.
Lol. You gotta learn early on to be able
to laugh at yourself.
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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