Characters

Ann O. = movie watcher

Jan O.  = film critic

Hans Z. = buttinski

The scene opens with three people sitting in movie seats facing downstage.

Ann O. You are going to really love this independent film, Jan.

Jan O.  You are kidding with this title; right?

Hans Z. Hell Comes to Frogtown!

Ann O. Who are you?

Jan O.  It's me, Ann -- Jan.

Ann O. No, I meant the other guy.

Hans Z.  I am Hannnzzz.

Ann O. So, Hanz, have you seen this movie already?

Jan O.  Is it worth watching?

Hans Z.  You tell me.  A large-scale nuclear war ends in a holocaust. Earth becomes a post-apocolyptic wasteland, where, due to fallout, most humans have been rendered sterile. So, the government looks for those who can still breed. Additionally, humanity now shares the planet with a race of mutant amphibians.

Ann O. This sounds great!

Jan O.  It sounds like a weirdo production.

Hans Z. The frogs are humanoid and talk. 

Ann O. That could really happen, I'll bet. 

Jan O.  Frog people or someone financing a movie about it?

Hans Z. It has Roddy Piper in the lead role as Sam Hell.

Ann O. Wow! Rowdy Roddy Piper!

Jan O. Who?

Hans Z. He was a professional wrestler in the eighties. 

Ann O. Then he became a big movie star.

Jan O. Who?

Hans Z. He starred in two movies. 

Ann O. "They Live".

Jan O.  Who lives?

Hans Z.  You've heard of John Carpenter?

Ann O. Halloween, Escape from New York, Assault on Precinct 13, The Thing, etc.

Jan O.  So, Hell Comes to Frogtown is a Carpenter movie?

Hans Z. Oh no, but Roddy Piper was in it. He has to free a bunch of women being held by frog people and impregnate them. 

Ann O.  Impregnate frogs?

Jan O.  I'm sure he meant the women.

Ann O. Well sure -- frog women.

Hans Z. No -- women women.

Ann O.  Sounds like a story torn from the headlines.

Jan O.  The headlines of checkout counter scandal rags. 

To be continued...