As I sat there in a haze of disassociation that protected me from his vile words, I had no more strength to fight. I had no words to return because they would just fall on closed ears.

I decided it was enough. Enough pain. Enough torment. Enough of being told to do better and be more. Enough trying, but never meeting his expectations. 

I was done. It was over. This was my last night sleeping by his side. The last night he could call me his fiancé.

The next morning began as usual. Wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner. But that night, I changed both his and my life forever.

I gave up 5 years together. For freedom. To learn how to love myself again. To learn that I am in fact enough. And as he sat there sobbing on the floor, I felt sympathy for the man who had his whole world turned upside down. But for once in my life, I didn’t feel any guilt. In fact, I finally no longer felt his weight on my shoulders. 

The next few months I learned who I was. And why I was amazing. That I deserved real love. And that’s exactly what I found. I sit here in the arms of the true love of my life and I feel safe, and appreciated, and worthy. 

I am forever so grateful for that one choice. I now, and always will, choose me.