My fellow Americans elect me president
And you will be a very happy resident
You don’t want some stuttering old geezer
I’m a strong man, not a stumbling old wheezer
I promise for our country I will do the following
No more will you be left behind wallowing
I will jail all women who accuse men of abuse
Like in my case, women lie, I never gave one a goose
And about women, they have no right to an abortion
Their shouting about their rights is a huge distortion
I will release all those very fine people unjustly arrested
My presidency was stolen and they patriotically protested
I know you all understand at times violence is necessary
It may be that I will need to put opponents in a cemetery
I bless you who understand that I never ever would lie
I’ll speak alternate facts, and look you straight in the eye
What if I mock the disabled, we need a laugh, don’t you agree?
And those suckers in the military, they’re not smart like me
Yes, I like autocratic leaders, they get a lot of stuff done
In the future, I will team with them, we’ll have great fun
You know I have been charged with many a crime
Each one is a witch hunt, you know I’m not slime
Lastly, I want you to know I will solve the border situation
I will not allow the continuing pollution of our white nation
By charging every South American country a $5000 fine
For every one of their vermin that crosses our border line
I will lead us back to the glorious and happy Victorian time
When men worked an hour for little more than a dime
When rich white men ruled, and women knew their place
Back to the 19th Century and erase all the left-wing disgrace
One more thing, after you vote for me, stop by my headquarters
Collect your reward, given to you by my generous supporters
