| General Non-Fiction posted December 26, 2023 |
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A sudden and shocking event
Without Warning
by Lisasview
Not having heard from my father for a couple of weeks, I was concerned. He always called me on Sundays at 2 pm and when I did not get his phone call, I began calling every hour. After all, he was 96 years old and although sharp as a whip, I still worried.
I finally reached his wife, not my mother, 25 years his junior. She told me he was in the hospital and had been there for two weeks. Her voice sounded strange, but I thought it must be from being upset.
It was on a Friday, late afternoon, when I finally reached the correct nurses' station in Manhattan, New York.
I asked if I could please speak with my father's doctor. "No, the doctor will not be here until Monday." the nurse replied. "But your father is right here, would you like to speak to him?"
I felt immediately relieved. He must be doing well to be out of his room at the nurse's station! I chuckled and recalled how much he adores all women. Of course that's where my father would be!
Soon, I heard my father, with his thick French accent say, "Oh, darling, how wonderful to hear from you!" Just hearing his strong voice made the situation appear less dire.
"Papa, how are you?" I asked.
He replied, "I feel like I am twenty!"
After a few more minutes of chatting, we said our goodbyes with my promise that I would fly out to see him the following week.
The next morning at 6 am, I got a call that my Papa had passed away in his sleep. I was bereft and stunned.
I recounted our converstaion of the previous day and wondered if he had been waiting to talk with me, his eldest daughter, before he died.
A week or so later I got a call from a woman saying she was a Social Worker from the New York Presbyterian Manhattan Hospital.
"Your stepmother was found wandering on the streets in Manhattan, very confused, with just a light sweater for warmth, and a purse full of money."
"Oh no, what happened?" I exclaimed. Thoughts were racing through my mind. Did she have a breakdown because of my father's death? I immediately made arrangements to go see her.
Arriving at the hospital the following day I was shocked to find her anything but her normally beautiful self. She was extremely thin, her hair was a stringy mess, her nails were chipped, and she had an unfocused look in her eyes. No matter how much I tried, she was withdrawn and did not speak.
I was overwhelmed with questions. When had she started to deteriorate? What had hapened? Why wasn't I made aware of this? After a battery of tests, the doctors diagnosed her with Alzheimers's disease. They recommended placing her at a facility in Brooklyn, New York.
I left there believing she was in good hands, however I owed it to my father to be sure. I decided to do some checking as soon as I returned home. I called the ombusdsman's office for that facility and spoke with the secretary. She said, "Oh, my mother is a resident there."
I was relieved at first, until she warned, "If I could afford to move my mother I would. The care there is terrible! To ensure her safety you'll need to monitor her daily."
How could I live with myself if I left her there? Why would those physicians recommend such a place? I felt the worried thoughts of my dear father and knew I had to advocate for his wife.
It took some doing, but I was able to get her out of that horrible place. She was promptly transferred to a lovely facility near our home in California.
As her Alzheimer's progressed, she did not recognize me. Still, I visited her daily, speaking soothingly to her about her life with my father. I knew he was watching, waiting and smiling. She passed away, back in the arms of my father, at age 76.
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Not having heard from my father for a couple of weeks, I was concerned. He always called me on Sundays at 2 pm and when I did not get his phone call, I began calling every hour. After all, he was 96 years old and although sharp as a whip, I still worried.
I finally reached his wife, not my mother, 25 years his junior. She told me he was in the hospital and had been there for two weeks. Her voice sounded strange, but I thought it must be from being upset.
It was on a Friday, late afternoon, when I finally reached the correct nurses' station in Manhattan, New York.
I asked if I could please speak with my father's doctor. "No, the doctor will not be here until Monday." the nurse replied. "But your father is right here, would you like to speak to him?"
I felt immediately relieved. He must be doing well to be out of his room at the nurse's station! I chuckled and recalled how much he adores all women. Of course that's where my father would be!
Soon, I heard my father, with his thick French accent say, "Oh, darling, how wonderful to hear from you!" Just hearing his strong voice made the situation appear less dire.
"Papa, how are you?" I asked.
He replied, "I feel like I am twenty!"
After a few more minutes of chatting, we said our goodbyes with my promise that I would fly out to see him the following week.
The next morning at 6 am, I got a call that my Papa had passed away in his sleep. I was bereft and stunned.
I recounted our converstaion of the previous day and wondered if he had been waiting to talk with me, his eldest daughter, before he died.
A week or so later I got a call from a woman saying she was a Social Worker from the New York Presbyterian Manhattan Hospital.
"Your stepmother was found wandering on the streets in Manhattan, very confused, with just a light sweater for warmth, and a purse full of money."
"Oh no, what happened?" I exclaimed. Thoughts were racing through my mind. Did she have a breakdown because of my father's death? I immediately made arrangements to go see her.
Arriving at the hospital the following day I was shocked to find her anything but her normally beautiful self. She was extremely thin, her hair was a stringy mess, her nails were chipped, and she had an unfocused look in her eyes. No matter how much I tried, she was withdrawn and did not speak.
I was overwhelmed with questions. When had she started to deteriorate? What had hapened? Why wasn't I made aware of this? After a battery of tests, the doctors diagnosed her with Alzheimers's disease. They recommended placing her at a facility in Brooklyn, New York.
I left there believing she was in good hands, however I owed it to my father to be sure. I decided to do some checking as soon as I returned home. I called the ombusdsman's office for that facility and spoke with the secretary. She said, "Oh, my mother is a resident there."
I was relieved at first, until she warned, "If I could afford to move my mother I would. The care there is terrible! To ensure her safety you'll need to monitor her daily."
How could I live with myself if I left her there? Why would those physicians recommend such a place? I felt the worried thoughts of my dear father and knew I had to advocate for his wife.
It took some doing, but I was able to get her out of that horrible place. She was promptly transferred to a lovely facility near our home in California.
As her Alzheimer's progressed, she did not recognize me. Still, I visited her daily, speaking soothingly to her about her life with my father. I knew he was watching, waiting and smiling. She passed away, back in the arms of my father, at age 76.
 Recognized |
#22 December 2023 |
Memories about events such as these never leave us.
And, often they shape who we are.
Thank you for reading my story about a true event in my life.
Lisa
For those who do not know what an Ombudsman is....
What Does an Ombudsman Do? Long-term care Ombudsmen are advocates for residents of nursing homes, board and care homes and assisted living facilities. Ombudsmen provide information about how to find a facility and what to do to get quality care. They are trained to resolve problems.
Photo is of Neuron cells...
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. And, often they shape who we are.
Thank you for reading my story about a true event in my life.
Lisa
For those who do not know what an Ombudsman is....
What Does an Ombudsman Do? Long-term care Ombudsmen are advocates for residents of nursing homes, board and care homes and assisted living facilities. Ombudsmen provide information about how to find a facility and what to do to get quality care. They are trained to resolve problems.
Photo is of Neuron cells...
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