Tonight, pain and stress pushed me into a moment of clarity.  I saw for the first time, an emotional trigger that I hadn’t noticed before.

When my mom took care of me, she always shared her stressful emotions with me at the same time. 

It became a requirement of my being taken care of.

I began to associate one with the other, as children often do.

So, from then on, whenever I needed or wanted anything from her, I knew I had to listen intently to her woes.

Which brings me back to tonight. 

Grace, my new caregiver came in the door saying, “I feel frazzled.”  I took the bait, as I always do, and asked her why.

She began to unravel her stressful days.  As she continued, I felt more pain and stress myself.  A vicious cycle, to be sure.

My reaction was to lecture her on becoming organized. That way, she would always know where her phone, wallet, and other important things were at all times. 

This didn’t help either one of us. 

Well, the night ended with Grace going home early, and I was left feeling awful.

I realize that she had triggered my old response of only listening to her woes so, that she would care for me.  Neither one of us was happy with this arrangement.

From now on, I am going to say, “Stop!” whenever someone shares too much information about their personal life. 

This way, we can stay together as recipient and caregiver, and work well as a team.

Putting this idea into practice will not be easy.  Yet, the rewards for setting boundaries will be endless. 

I’ll get a chance to practice this new behavior as I go through my different caregivers throughout the week.

We shall see how well I improve.  I hope to do better and, “It’s getting better all the time,” to quote the Beatles.

There’s always room and time for growth, and the time is now to achieve my highest potential. 

My aim is high, and I will touch the sky, as long as I strive to reach for the stars.