Chapter 5

                                                                  Juan

I got to the commissary to see if I had enough to buy a razor because I looked like a mess. I get to the window and look at all the snacks and markers I can’t afford. This sucks, and I hate it here. 

“How much do I have on my books, Montoya 10140613,”  helooks at the computer screen and writes down on paper. I see $110, and my eyes widen in the amount. “Is this right?” he nods. “Wow, okay, let me get a razor, a Snickers, and those markers,” I say, pointing at the good markers. I take my stuff, and I’m still in shock. I get back to my cell and put my things in a lock box.

“Someone put money on your books?” Chucky asks.

“Yeah, but I don’t know who.”

“Maybe your mama?” 

“Nah, she would never. Maybe one of my brothers.” I say. I shave and get ready to go to the autobody shop to work with Dom.

“I heard they may let Psycho out of here in the next five months,” he says. I’m happy to hear I won’t ever have to see him again. My friend from the group that Dom introduced me to was at my cell door.

“You ready for work Johnny-Boy?” He asks.

“What’s up, Vampiro? Yeah, let’s go,” I say, clapping hands with him. His name is Freddy, but he is so pale that they call him Vampiro. Later Chucky.” We go down the walkway and see one of the guards approaching the stairs. 

“Mail call,” he yells, and I look back just as he’s at my cell, and he hands something to Chucky. He heads back into the cell. He doesn’t look at me, making me sad. I wrote to Valentina a few weeks ago and haven’t heard from her yet. 

We get to the Autobody garage, and we change into coveralls. Dom comes up to me, and we clap hands. He motions for me to walk with him, and I follow him. He looks at me and puts his hand on my shoulder.

“What’s up, jefe?” I ask.

“Listen, you know I care about you, right?”

“Yeah, I know; what’s up?” 

“Because Mario got released, there was an opening in my mechanic class.”

“So, what’s that got to do with me?”

“Psycho took it.” He says.

“Aww, shit.”

“Listen, everyone has a right to be here in the class. Everyone deserves a right for a seat at the table. Let’s show him grace; if he acts a fool, his ass is out. Point blank.”

“Okay, fine.”

“I already talked to him. He’ll be cool. He’s here. Martinez, come here.” He says he walks over. “This is Johnny-Boy, and he will show you the ropes.” Psycho looks at me and smiles. It’s creepy as fuck smile. He claps my hand with his.

“No hard feels carnal,” Psycho says. I nod. 

I spend the rest of the work day showing Psycho around the shop. He asks questions which I answer. He is hands-on with some of the repairs. I stand off to the side and let him do it. Once he’s done, he comes over to me. 

“Hey, where are you from?” he asks, drinking water.

“Inland Empire and you?”

“San Bernardino. You got family waiting for you?”

“Nah, not family, but I got my girl. How about you?”

“Nah, I’m starting to talk to my family, so we’ll see.”

Once the day is done, I head to the canteen for dinner. They say it’s chicken, but it looks a bit gray for my liking. I take a deep breath and shovel it into my mouth. I hurry up to return to my cell to eat my candy bar. I have been thinking about that damn chocolate bar all damn day long. I walk into the cell, and Chucky lies in his bunk reading a book. He points at my bunk and looks at it. There is an envelope on my pillow, and my heart races. I run and grab it. He laughs at my enthusiasm. I look at the letter and see it’s from Valentina and my eyes water. 

“Is that why you have been moping around here for the last week?” he chuckles. I flip him off, and he laughs. “The letters come to us open so they can examine all the contents. I didn’t open it.”

“ I know,” I say with a laugh.   I take out the contents, see Valentina’s face, and feel a brick in my throat. “Damn, she's beautiful.”

“Can I see what she looks like?” Chucky asks. I hand him the picture. He whistles low, “Damn, lucky pendejo. She’s fine as fuck.”

“Calmate, Güey,” I laugh.

“I’m gonna go play dominos with Psycho. I’ll give you privacy so you can read your letter and rub one out,” he laughs and runs out. Chucky is crazy as fuck. He is always saying crazy shit to make me laugh. 

I sit on the edge of my bunk and start to read, with tears falling down my face. Valentina’s depression I caused that. I feel sad but so happy when she says she’ll wait for me. I see her phone number, and my heart is beating so hard. I leap off the bunk and run out of the cell towards the pay phone. I dial and redial because, in my excitement, I hit the wrong numbers. Finally, I get it right, and I’m asked to record my name. The call is accepted, and I’m shaking.

“Baby?” She cries into the phone. It rips my heart out but gives me a reason to do good.

“Hi, my love,”

â??â??â??â??â?? ********

â??â??â??â??â??Sixth months later

Since I’m good at drawing, many guys asked me if I could tattoo them, and one guy made me a tattoo gun which I had to hide well because I could get in trouble for having it. No one would say who was tattooing them. Before I tattooed anyone, I practiced on myself. The first thing I tattoed on myself was Valentina's name on my forearm. I have tattooed Chucky and even Psycho. He and I are cool, but I wouldn’t say we were friends or anything close to it. He will get out soon, which is good for everyone. I would call Valentina every morning and night. She wanted to come and visit, and I would love to see her, but I didn’t want to see her behind a glass wall and not be able to touch her.  

“Babe, I want to see you,” she would cry. 

“I don’t want you to see me like this baby and not be able to touch you. That would be torture.” I say. A message let us know that our call will be disconnected soon. “I love you. Let me figure something out.”

“I love you. What are you figuring out? She asks just as the call gets disconnected. I head back into my room and see Chucky writing something near my table. 

“What are you doing?” I noticed that he jumped a little. “Are you going through my stuff?”

“Nah, bro, I was using your pencil to write an idea for a poem for my ol’ lady.” He stutters. I narrow my eyes at him. “I swear on my daughter.”

“Alright. Hey, Chucky, you still got that phone?”

“Yup, it’s in the wall, and I just charged it” He says when he moves one of the drawings I did of his daughter. He pulls out from a hole in the wall. “You need to use it?”

“Yeah, can you Facetime on it?”

“Yup, here. Let me be the lookout.” Chucky stands at the cell door and lights up a cigarette. I call Valentina, and thankfully she answers. 

“Juan, oh my god, what are you doing? You’re going to get in trouble.” She says, worried.

“Do you want me to hang up?” I tease.

“No, don’t I just want to see your face,” she smiles. I tease her even more and take off my shirt. “Baby, you look so good. You buffed up with all kinds of muscles.”

“All I do lately is workout and work on cars, and that is work out by itself. Do you like what you see?” I ask. I hear Chucky groan and laugh. I flip him off and laugh.

“God, yes, wait, is there someone with you?” she asks, her face pinking up.

“Yeah, my celly Chucky is my lookout,” I say. Chucky runs over quickly and waves at Valentina.

“Hi, Valentina,” he laughs. “If he hangs up, that means someone was coming.”

“Hi, Chucky.” She says shyly. Chucky goes back to the door. 

“Damn, baby, you look so beautiful,” I whisper. “You go me fucking hard as fuck,”

“Baby, he’s gonna hear you! She whispers. 

“No, he put on his headphones. He’s listening to loud music. You can say no, but do you want to see it?” I see if Chucky is looking, and his back is to me. She nods fast, and her face is red. I take my dick out and show her. “You see what you do to me? I take myself in my hand and rub up and down. Her eyes widen, and I  see want in her eyes. “I love you,” I say as I moan out my release into a tissue. “Damn, my love, I love you.”

“I love you so much,” she says. 

“Trucha,” Chucky warns me. I disconnect the call quickly and put the phone behind the toilet tank next to the bunk. The guards come up and ask Chucky why he’s outside the cell. “ Johnny-Boy was taking a shit, and I was about to puke.” He laughs. This fucking guy is too much. At least he had my back.

“Thanks, man,” I laugh. 

A few days later, I lift weights in the yard, and today is the day that Psycho gets released. Dom makes all of the guys in the mechanic program take a picture with the guy getting released. Dom made me and Psycho squat down in front, and he had us clap hands. Something has always been off with that pendejo, but I played nice because of Dom. I was lifting a two-hundred-and-fifty-pound barbell when I saw Psycho and Chucky approaching, and I didn’t think anything of it. As I was about to push the barbell up, Psycho pushed it onto my chest and throat, causing me trouble breathing. I struggled to push it back up. Panic went through me as Psycho bent down ear level.

“I’m gonna fuck you up. When I see you on the streets, you're dead. I’ll fuck shit up.” He released the bell, and I sat up and gasped for air. I look at Chucky and he was being held back by one of Psycho’s so called friends. He runs over to me and he looks shocked.

“He could have killed you just then.” Chucky pants. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think so.” I don’t recognize my own voice its so raspy.

“What the fuck are you going to do?”

“Nothing. He’s leaving here anyway.”

“You want to Facetime Valentina?”

“That would be great,” I say, getting up slowly.

I could be having a shit day, and she brings the sunshine back into my