Satire Fiction posted September 12, 2023 Chapters:  ...14 15 -16- 17... 

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magic mushroom

A chapter in the book The Saga of Procrastination

Magic dating

by Iza Deleanu

The author has placed a warning on this post for language.

        The mother fortune of all dating sites, how have I let myself be dragged in this scam. Everything is perfect on paper. You complete the quiz, and the offers are coming, especially when you pay. The proposals should be more interesting. But brother, it's hard to find something "suitable." The matches on the paper said nothing when you look at the picture... is a different story. I wondered what the heck I was doing there. I just got myself in the stupidity circle listening to advice from people who have already been burned on the site, and why not let somebody else get on the fryer. I may be expecting too much, but why shouldn't I? I am here for the better, not for the worse! After two weeks, I am two hundred and sixty dollars short, and now, since I can find what I want, I am having good laugh since I paid for it.

      So here it goes. I was sitting in front of the computer, and they sent me many pictures of different individuals who supposedly were my best match. Okay, and now, what? Everybody is waiting for the other person to make the first step. So you stay for another month and lose another two hundred, and the games continue! Some say they are searching for "a normal person," bro, who's normal nowadays.
      I hit the wall because my profile says that I am bold, well, I am not as brave as initiating the conversion. Blame it on my education. In Eastern Europe, the guy is the one who makes the first step. Here is my profile: "People who know me well would say that I'm someone who never gives up and always looks on the bright side. I like to take tranquil walks in natural surroundings and write in my leisure time. It's crucial to me to coexist peacefully with nature and to keep exploring my inner self through spiritual pursuits. While I may be reserved at times, I'm also capable of being daring. I can be both classy and grounded simultaneously." Kind of lame, right? And kind of desperate... yeah, pick me, I am your golden... fish, not! Wait a minute! Of course, nobody picks me. I am not available, damn it! My perfect match is meeeeeeeeeee. We are "harmony". What a shitty tragedy!

       Here I've said it! "Now I feel better."

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