For the first time I heard the Latin term 'Parens Patriae' when my court appointed attorney was discussing with the prosecuting attorney. The term for no apparent reasons grabbed my imagination. Perhaps I was bored with the monotony of the court proceedings. The building itself was depressingly gloomy. Away from home, the river and my books, I was empty inside. I tried to think about my future. However, I am not given to thinking about future and this was an exception. I instinctively felt that it has something to do with banishing me from the scene, to a somewhere faraway place, where no one knows my name It did not matter where I lived, as long as Pappy went with me, and the place has a river.

As soon as two attorneys took a break from their discussion, I jumped and asked:
"What is this business of Parent something you two are discussing?"
My attorney, Ms. Alice Holland, a black woman in her mid to late thirties answered me:

"It is a 13th century legal term that is applied to individuals declared as of unsound mind and has to do with deciding who gets the custody of a person. When this provision of the law is considered, the possibility of any underage person who has committed a crime that is so egregious that he or she appears to be a danger to the society or self and a judge decides to make that child the state's ward. In simple words, your state becomes your parents and that is the literal meaning of the term."

I did not like that idea of parenting by state; it had a sinister sound like those names of diseases. I hated the school's control over individuals like me and imagined state to be worse. I begged Ms. Holland to explain it in detail.

She waited until the government attorney went away and then, took a long look at me, as if she was searching for a way to measure my intelligence to see if I would understand the legal doctrines and terminology. Then she began with a kindness in her voice, as if her own kid had been in the bad situation like the one, I was in at that moment. In a soft and motherly voice, she began:

"At 14, you are unusually matured child and that's a handicap we both have to overcome. You did a bad job on that boy, and reasons for doing that is not yet properly established by the statements made to police by both of you; they don't have a full understanding of the background scenario and Walter is depressed and under psychological care. Boy's parents are demanding that you must be tried in the adult court. You as a personality characteristic, don't show any remorse, and that is what your school officials have reported. This attribute is often viewed at best, as the signs of lack of empathy and at worst, as an indicator of possible serious mental illness called. 'Border line Schizophrenia'.

The government side most likely will show you as one, but because it is not yet decided whether to put you through a battery of psychological evaluation track to confirming that diagnosis, we have to do our best not to let them take you in that direction. However, without your understanding and cooperation, it will be near impossible for me to do that. They have plenty of resources to bring the experts, but you have very slim chance of getting one without a fee. I am going to speak with some organizations who may step in, but for a white child, raised in the unhealthy environment, there are not as many options as a children of minority communities would have. You are what affluent white community calls, "White Trash" living in the Trailer Parks and the hollows, side by side with the poor blacks.

I am telling you all this, because you, at 14 years, are lot more capable of understanding the gravity of the situation and you display a stoic individuality with a stubbornness written all over your face, and that is not helpful in defending, if you are tried as an adult, and by observing your demure, the Jurors become unsympathetic, and treat you harshly. Remember, Walter is a Full Back and sportsmanship has a favorable opinion in our society. I have to change that in favor of you by showing your suffering filled school life. I have known this phenomenon in my personal and professional life many times.

The legal term you caught from our discussion and wish to know its meaning, and it indicates your higher intelligence than the average female child of your age. Unfortunately, this too is not going well with the juvenile justice systems in our country. Knowing tight and wrong is strictly viewed from a rational point of view, and mental status comes in the case, only if you have a competent and experienced attorney, who brings it as a defense. The lack of reasons why you attacked, is also another problematic issue. You did not give any meaningful statement that would have justified the ferocity of attack.

I have a difficult task of keeping you out of the adult court system. I need your trust and full account of what brought you and Walter together in that isolated boonies. If the young man lured you there and tried to rape you, then I need to know. You are in bigger troubles than you are realizing. Recall every details of that day starting from: Why you went, how he arrived at that remote place, did he invite you, or you always go there? And one more thing; give me some understanding of your general experiences dealing with your peers, administrators and teachers. If you have any person of authority in the school, church etc., that will be on your side if brought in as a character witness; I need a list. Our primary goals is to do everything in our power to get you in the juvenile detention and rehabilitation system, and not let them take you in front of juries.

Again, I am reminding you; be a child of 14, with fear, remorse and helplessness on your face. Don't make my task difficult by acquiring that adult personality when we go in for the preliminary review. It is three days from today; I must have your list of individuals willing to say you were a victim of bullying and injustice, which I suspect you have been. Let the folks conducting the hearing know, how and why so much anger erupted at that moment, let them know what that trigger point of your anger; don't spare any details, if he did go for your clothing then recall the sequence of his actions; think hard and be honest about it; don't invent if you can't recall; I need just the facts . I will see you again tomorrow and I want to hear your statement; I hope you understood what I have told you today."

Ms. Holland left the client consulting room, and a uniformed case worker transported to me to a room in the lock up. So many things had happened in such a short time and Ms. Holland's long speech had overwhelmed me. I felt my mind was dead and brain had stopped working. I fell asleep out of sheer mental fatigue.