Essay Fiction posted November 22, 2022

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Show Me

Do Not Tell

by country ranch writer

As you know the entire point of showing verses telling in writing is to make an emotional connection with your readers and hook then.
Now you have them in the palm of your hand you have to figure out how to keep them hooked to the very end.

You want them to feel, hear, and see the situation as you.The readers want to hear your whole story and in turn, they will read your whole book.

If you show your feelings right away the reader will not notice any distractions going around him or her.

Well, a person's action are really a gateway to their mind. Keeping this in mind the best way is to enable the reader to experience the tale through action,words,ideas,sensations,and emotions ,and thoughts by showing them so they understand better than telling them.

Showing not telling draws you into the story.It also makes you feel like you are right there feeling everything the main character is experiencing.

It helps us by showing people, places , and thing creating a mental pictures in one's mind.when the reader gets a mental picture describing the action going on excites them to
find out more of the story.

As I sat staring at my empty page on my computer staring back at me I remember what my mentor once said to me . "Always remember,,
by showing, not telling,is by creating a sense of atmosphere and setting.
By that she ways saying for me to use my five senses...

So by showing our reader a setting she told me it helps set the stage for what's to come next.

This will let form their own picture or opinion what their characters mind, might be thinking.
With your gathered information at hand it will be of help to determine what is most important to create an interesting story.
One should rely on one's senses, to see, hear,taste smell,and to feel what your characters are feeling.

It has been a while since I wrote a country story so bear with me.
It was a lazy day here at home when the phone rang. So much for a day off I said under my breath , reaching for the phone. It was my mom, she sounded distraught. She is usually a bubbly person so full of vigor. This time her voice was filled with strife.She said,'I hate to ask you when you are so busy at work with Christmas and all looming just around the corner ." I said, "what's wrong there on the ranch?"Could you possibly catch a plane home? I didn't hesitate, I told her I would be there tomorrow if weather permitting. I told mom not to worry as I told her I loved her and hung up. I managed to get a flight out. I arrived home just before the storm hit.It was a Half hour later I drove into the yard. Dad came flying out of the house and mom pulled up the rear. Dad hugged me so tight;I looked him in his eyes , He was troubled trying not to let it show. Mom, was crying happy to see me. I wondered what
was so wrong there?
Later that night mom had me follow her to the front porch after dad turned in fir the night. Honey she hesitated before speaking clearing her throat. Can you possibly stay home for awhile? I sure could use the help around here. Just tell me what's going on here at the ranch and we will go from there okay?Agreeing to stay I put my life back in the city on hold. Just one of the perks of being your own boss. Now holly was home she had to figure how to solve this Crisis.It breaks her heart to see her family struggling to save the indebted family ranch. Holly's older brother Harm ,cane home to help her investigate the problem too.
They both had forgotten about how nice and beautiful it was and a feeling of being safe always there at the ranch had offered them before they grew up and moved away.
Running a horse ranch can be in a lot of trouble financially when some one raids your pastures. With dads health not the best he hasn't been able to afford cameras to catch the thief's on a camera.
The next day Holly and Harm went to see the sheriffs office and got permits to shoot to kill rustlers and animals if need be. Next the went and picked out computer rigged cameras so they could watch the horses and corrals. Harm contacted his military to come stay at the ranch since the help quit. Only ones who stayed was the cook and his wife.They cooked and cleaned for them. When the guys arrived Harm felt better, he trusted them with his life.Harms dad was glad to have other men on the ranch to talk to. He was telling Harm and Holly he felt so helpless not being able to catch these guys. Mike and jack strolled in to say goodnight They told him things would get better now they fixed the cameras and they could take turns watching from the bunk house all of the ranch. There was one of the valuable horses missing
He didn't come in to eat when the others did,Dave was watching the camera when they radioed Ham up at the house, He's down next to the game trail. Someone's cut the wires. Har and Holly said they would go fetch him. It was 40 degrees and dropping. They traveled the old logging road to the hunting trail The beautiful mare stared at them as if play ' fun's over?" Harm loaded the horse in the horse trailer. It was now pitch dark and beginning to snow harder. Dave and Mike came out to put the horse away so they could get back to the hounded to warm up. Hot chocolate was waiting for them the heat felt good as they entered the kitchen, cook out fresh baked Christmas cookies out for them. The place was beginning to look alit like Christmas with the ranch looking like the North Pole. Harm and Mike went out on the one end of the property cutting down the biggest fastest tall tree the could find and one for the guys in the bunk house.They would all be sharing Christmas meal with the folks in the ranch house.cook made everyone in the bunk house cookies and apples, oranges, and tangerines . Lots of mixed to even it out. The guys never come across folks as nice as Harms and Hollys.
As luck would have it they all managed to get their Christmas shopping done before the blizzard blew in.
Good thing the huge barn was able to hold the hundred head of horses,
The bunk house doors were nice opening into the barn and one opening fir the front door to the yard. The cameras were monitored and filmed 24 hours a day. It wasn't fit weather out for man or beast.
Two days later the snow held off and the camera alert the guys som one was approaching from the back side of the bunk house, Who ever it was was familiar with the workings of the ranch, the one thing the thief didn't count on was the bunk house was occupied. Everyone was on alert waiting for who ever it was to make his move.
The person was wearing all black from head to tie wearing a ski mask, also black. Just as the perp thought it was dark enough he proceed to open the bunk house door . It was pitch black in there . Taking his penlight of his back pocket turning it on. Boy! Was he shocked when he was surrounded by bright lights in the room.He froze afraid to move fearing getting shit by everyone holding a gun pointed at him. They relieved him of his penlight and pulled off his mask. Harm m Holly and their dad was called to the barn to identify the dirt bag.
"Well I'll be damned dad said, I thought you new better than bite the hand that helped you save your own spread? It was our dads neighbor! He was trying to rub dad off the land so he could buy it at auction for a song!
Harm said, why! " Dad helped yo when yo needed it."you now have more money than you ever needed I don't understand your reasoning?
I started gambling again,As I was getting rich I got greedy. Harm looked at him and said,"greed never got anyone any where's,but jail.Mike told him to put his hands behind his back he was under arrest. You can't arrest me ! Mike pull out his badge, showed it to him FBI,Dan pulls his out it says US Marshal.Harm pulls his out it says Texas Ranger,okay dad you are in safe hand let's eat supper is getting cold. Chaining the neighbor
Mr, Brown , Dad said "think of it as the last supper."

Show Me contest entry

Has a bit of drama mixed in finding the horse thief.

Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by MKFlood at

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