Bald-only a niggle. Grey and fat-the new young. The suitor's old black Labrador, sighed, bemused. The bride was about to arrive. Paunchy, genial, affable and kindly, the suitor met the the nuptial train at the station. The bride arrived! She was very cuddly, quite obese, stringy grey hair, cans of bourbon, hairy armpits, smelly fleecy pants. Online dating special soulmate. Wedding night of fat bliss. Calling a taxi, he sent her back. Dog slept on bed. Suitor's ex-wife did understand..........