| Commentary and Philosophy Fiction posted August 30, 2022 |
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An interview with a political consultant.
The Political Consultant
by Terry Broxson
The Sunday News presented on the Global Television Network is on the Air. This week's spotlight is an interview with political consultant Thomas Steppingstone. Barbara Gaston, the political affairs editor, will conduct the interview.
"Thomas, thank you for being a guest, and welcome to Sunday Morning News."
"Thank you, Barbara, but please call me Tom."
"Tom, speaking of names, I must ask you about your last name. Steppingstone is a curious name for a political consultant."
"I didn't become Steppingstone until after my first job out of college. I managed a race for my roommate. He won office as a state representative. We drank some good scotch to celebrate his victory and referred to our win as only the first stepping stone. I had an epiphany."
"So, you changed your name?"
"Yes, I had it legally switched. Steppingstone is catchy, and it gets me out there on social media."
"What was your birth name?"
"Hamerovitch."
"Did your roommate step up to higher things?"
"Indeed, he served three terms in the state house of representatives and two years in a minimum-security prison for bribery. After his early release, Governor Applebee appointed him to the Texas Reliability Power Commission as chairman. He is pulling down $750,000, officially."
"You have a long list of clients. I might add they are on both sides of the aisle."
"Barbara, I think the best consultant is one who has no personal political beliefs. The goal is to analyze what is best for the candidate and the issues they are facing. Any personal interests just get in the way."
"That does make a lot of sense. But it could be a problem. Have you ever had opposing clients?"
"Your question is almost a good one. I consider myself like a hired gunfighter of the old west. I am the best gunner around. I work for the highest bidder, not the agenda. There is no chance of opposing clients."
"So, if you had a higher offer, you would drop one client and take on the higher bidder."
"In congressional races, that happens all the time. It is rare in the senate or governorships and never in the presidential race."
"The higher the profile, the less chance of your switching sides, is that right?"
"That's correct, and the main reason is the money is so good. I claim my loyalty to the client. Even though it is BS, it helps my PR."
"Tom, you have been doing this for a while. What is the biggest change in campaigns."
"Flying is the biggest change. I only fly first class or private jet."
"I was thinking more about the political atmosphere."
"That would be the Big Lie. Unlike in the past, today, there is no bad lie. In fact, repetition and depth of the lie make it more convincing. The Big Lie works for both the left and the right. But skill is required."
"Can you give an example of that?"
"Oh, no. That is confidential and highly proprietary information. I keep it in a secure safe at an estate in Florida."
"Tom, that sounds like you might be in the Trump camp."
"Dang, Woman, pay attention. I am in the money camp. I haven't received any money from Trump or Biden."
"With your reputation, I find it strange you don't have ties to either of the men."
"I do have a senatorial race where Trump endorsed my guy. However, my last statement for services is sixty days past due. I suppose if he doesn't pay up this week, I will leak a news story that his campaign has money problems."
"You would do that?"
"Sure, it's my best leverage. If the candidate pays up after the leak, I leak another story, money problems solved."
"Do you have a prediction for this fall's mid-term elections?"
"Yes, I do."
"Care to share it with us?"
"Barbara, do you know how much I am getting paid for this interview?"
"Nothing."
"Exactly, you just got your money's worth."
"Okay, Tom, can you please tell us what percent of your clients have won their elections in the last, let's say, four years?"
"Every client that I wanted to win has won. So, my record is one hundred percent."
"Tom, that sounds like double talk. I have a report that shows only forty-two percent of your clients win an election."
"You see, Barbara, this is the problem with media types like you. You prefer to tell your viewers what your lying eyes read from a lying report. I am telling you the truth, and you don't believe it. I am your guest, a highly paid expert in the field. I work for the highest bidder, which sometimes means my original client needs to lose, maybe fifty-eight percent of the time."
"Tom, thank you for being our guest. That is it for this week's political spotlight. Be sure to tune in next week when the spotlight shines on the FBI headquarters' in-house cafeteria. It will be an exclusive report on what is really in meatloaf Monday and enchilada Thursday."
The Sunday News presented on the Global Television Network is on the Air. This week's spotlight is an interview with political consultant Thomas Steppingstone. Barbara Gaston, the political affairs editor, will conduct the interview.
"Thomas, thank you for being a guest, and welcome to Sunday Morning News."
"Thank you, Barbara, but please call me Tom."
"Tom, speaking of names, I must ask you about your last name. Steppingstone is a curious name for a political consultant."
"I didn't become Steppingstone until after my first job out of college. I managed a race for my roommate. He won office as a state representative. We drank some good scotch to celebrate his victory and referred to our win as only the first stepping stone. I had an epiphany."
"So, you changed your name?"
"Yes, I had it legally switched. Steppingstone is catchy, and it gets me out there on social media."
"What was your birth name?"
"Hamerovitch."
"Did your roommate step up to higher things?"
"Indeed, he served three terms in the state house of representatives and two years in a minimum-security prison for bribery. After his early release, Governor Applebee appointed him to the Texas Reliability Power Commission as chairman. He is pulling down $750,000, officially."
"You have a long list of clients. I might add they are on both sides of the aisle."
"Barbara, I think the best consultant is one who has no personal political beliefs. The goal is to analyze what is best for the candidate and the issues they are facing. Any personal interests just get in the way."
"That does make a lot of sense. But it could be a problem. Have you ever had opposing clients?"
"Your question is almost a good one. I consider myself like a hired gunfighter of the old west. I am the best gunner around. I work for the highest bidder, not the agenda. There is no chance of opposing clients."
"So, if you had a higher offer, you would drop one client and take on the higher bidder."
"In congressional races, that happens all the time. It is rare in the senate or governorships and never in the presidential race."
"The higher the profile, the less chance of your switching sides, is that right?"
"That's correct, and the main reason is the money is so good. I claim my loyalty to the client. Even though it is BS, it helps my PR."
"Tom, you have been doing this for a while. What is the biggest change in campaigns."
"Flying is the biggest change. I only fly first class or private jet."
"I was thinking more about the political atmosphere."
"That would be the Big Lie. Unlike in the past, today, there is no bad lie. In fact, repetition and depth of the lie make it more convincing. The Big Lie works for both the left and the right. But skill is required."
"Can you give an example of that?"
"Oh, no. That is confidential and highly proprietary information. I keep it in a secure safe at an estate in Florida."
"Tom, that sounds like you might be in the Trump camp."
"Dang, Woman, pay attention. I am in the money camp. I haven't received any money from Trump or Biden."
"With your reputation, I find it strange you don't have ties to either of the men."
"I do have a senatorial race where Trump endorsed my guy. However, my last statement for services is sixty days past due. I suppose if he doesn't pay up this week, I will leak a news story that his campaign has money problems."
"You would do that?"
"Sure, it's my best leverage. If the candidate pays up after the leak, I leak another story, money problems solved."
"Do you have a prediction for this fall's mid-term elections?"
"Yes, I do."
"Care to share it with us?"
"Barbara, do you know how much I am getting paid for this interview?"
"Nothing."
"Exactly, you just got your money's worth."
"Okay, Tom, can you please tell us what percent of your clients have won their elections in the last, let's say, four years?"
"Every client that I wanted to win has won. So, my record is one hundred percent."
"Tom, that sounds like double talk. I have a report that shows only forty-two percent of your clients win an election."
"You see, Barbara, this is the problem with media types like you. You prefer to tell your viewers what your lying eyes read from a lying report. I am telling you the truth, and you don't believe it. I am your guest, a highly paid expert in the field. I work for the highest bidder, which sometimes means my original client needs to lose, maybe fifty-eight percent of the time."
"Tom, thank you for being our guest. That is it for this week's political spotlight. Be sure to tune in next week when the spotlight shines on the FBI headquarters' in-house cafeteria. It will be an exclusive report on what is really in meatloaf Monday and enchilada Thursday."
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The picture is Cousin Stoney. He is not a political consulant.
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