Humor Fiction posted May 18, 2022

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The Book of the Birds and the Bees

The holy seed of Mister Peacock

by JoannaN

Let me teach you, children. Whoever has ears, let them hear, and you shall find rest for your souls.
I know every bird on the sky. I know the holy places where the birds make their nests. You shall be my witnesses, spreading the truth around.
God made Mister Peacock first, and afterward he made his wife.
He made them male and female from the beginning of creation. And God saw that it was good.
God made a nest, and he gave it to Mister Peacock. Mister Peacock saw the nest and said to his wife, “God has granted us this nest beside a stream.”

Then Mistress Peacock had lain in the nest for a fortnight, until Mister Peacock came and laid his holy seed in her.
The next day the seed quickened. After a month passed, Mistress Peacock said to her husband, “God has bestowed his blessing upon us. With the help of the Lord I have brought forth an egg.”
Mister Peacock gave the name Egg to the son Mistress Peacock bore him.
So it is written. The first egg became a living being.
Listen, children. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sky. A time to love, a time to multiply.
The God in Heaven made you fertile, like Mister Peacock and his wife. For we are God’s handiwork, like birds.

God says to you, as he said to Mister Peacock. Be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth.
For this is God's will.


Birds and Bees contest entry

This story has to explain the Birds and the Bees to sell in a religious bookstore.
Important: it's the worst story possible :)
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

Artwork by Sange at

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