| Satire Fiction posted May 14, 2022 |
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One must be careful when consuming the news.
Seeking Truth
by HarryT
I wondered when I noticed small springs in my bird bath. I reasoned, perhaps the birds had landed in a factory dumpster and gotten discarded springs caught in their wing feathers. But as I watched the birds landing and taking off from the lip of the birdbath, I thought many had strange stiff, almost robotic movements. Even their chirps had a kind of Alexis sound.
My friend Jason and I were out to dinner one evening. There was a sign on the restaurant table that said birds aren't real. I pointed it out to Jason, who said, “That’s true. Heard it on Jackal News that there was a government plan in the early 1960s that did away with all the birds.
“That’s crazy,” I said.
“No really, Clucker Tarlson said they committed bird genocide, killing all 12 billion of them and replaced them with identical looking bird drones. Their eyes are special cameras to spy on aliens, but now the program is expanding to all United States citizens. The drones even poop like actual birds, but in their poop is a liquid tracking apparatus aimed at people the FBI has labeled as persons of interest.”
“C’mon, you sound like one of those right-wing conspiracy nuts. I think you are watching Jackal News too much. Wasn’t it they who reported along with Standing Stone magazine that said Cillary Hinton was running a pedophile ring out of the basement of the Jet pizza parlor?”
“Yeah, then the truth got censored by the government." Jason continued, "Like Tarlson says, their station doesn’t censor what Democrats would like to censor. Jackal News stands up for the truth. For example, Tarlson told us that the real reason Putin invaded Ukraine was that Zolodymyr Velensky, the Ukrainian president, copied the US model of bird genocide and was using the method to kill all the Russian birds and is trying to replace the dead birds with robotic spy models. You know Tarlson always speaks the truth because the Jackal News motto is Standing Up for What’s True and Right.”
“That may be what he claims,” I said. “But I don’t believe him. However, I agree that censorship and secrecy are not right for a democracy. That is why I’m thankful for the whistleblowers who have the guts to come forth and tell the truth. And I don't very often watch Jackal News. But regardless of what Tarlson says about a government cover-up. I don’t believe the truth has been censored and I believe that birds are real because my son told me he dropped the tiny springs from his Erector set for an experiment into the birdbath to see if they would rust.
Truth Sensor contest entry
I wondered when I noticed small springs in my bird bath. I reasoned, perhaps the birds had landed in a factory dumpster and gotten discarded springs caught in their wing feathers. But as I watched the birds landing and taking off from the lip of the birdbath, I thought many had strange stiff, almost robotic movements. Even their chirps had a kind of Alexis sound.
My friend Jason and I were out to dinner one evening. There was a sign on the restaurant table that said birds aren't real. I pointed it out to Jason, who said, “That’s true. Heard it on Jackal News that there was a government plan in the early 1960s that did away with all the birds.
“That’s crazy,” I said.
“No really, Clucker Tarlson said they committed bird genocide, killing all 12 billion of them and replaced them with identical looking bird drones. Their eyes are special cameras to spy on aliens, but now the program is expanding to all United States citizens. The drones even poop like actual birds, but in their poop is a liquid tracking apparatus aimed at people the FBI has labeled as persons of interest.”
“C’mon, you sound like one of those right-wing conspiracy nuts. I think you are watching Jackal News too much. Wasn’t it they who reported along with Standing Stone magazine that said Cillary Hinton was running a pedophile ring out of the basement of the Jet pizza parlor?”
“Yeah, then the truth got censored by the government." Jason continued, "Like Tarlson says, their station doesn’t censor what Democrats would like to censor. Jackal News stands up for the truth. For example, Tarlson told us that the real reason Putin invaded Ukraine was that Zolodymyr Velensky, the Ukrainian president, copied the US model of bird genocide and was using the method to kill all the Russian birds and is trying to replace the dead birds with robotic spy models. You know Tarlson always speaks the truth because the Jackal News motto is Standing Up for What’s True and Right.”
“That may be what he claims,” I said. “But I don’t believe him. However, I agree that censorship and secrecy are not right for a democracy. That is why I’m thankful for the whistleblowers who have the guts to come forth and tell the truth. And I don't very often watch Jackal News. But regardless of what Tarlson says about a government cover-up. I don’t believe the truth has been censored and I believe that birds are real because my son told me he dropped the tiny springs from his Erector set for an experiment into the birdbath to see if they would rust.
My friend Jason and I were out to dinner one evening. There was a sign on the restaurant table that said birds aren't real. I pointed it out to Jason, who said, “That’s true. Heard it on Jackal News that there was a government plan in the early 1960s that did away with all the birds.
“That’s crazy,” I said.
“No really, Clucker Tarlson said they committed bird genocide, killing all 12 billion of them and replaced them with identical looking bird drones. Their eyes are special cameras to spy on aliens, but now the program is expanding to all United States citizens. The drones even poop like actual birds, but in their poop is a liquid tracking apparatus aimed at people the FBI has labeled as persons of interest.”
“C’mon, you sound like one of those right-wing conspiracy nuts. I think you are watching Jackal News too much. Wasn’t it they who reported along with Standing Stone magazine that said Cillary Hinton was running a pedophile ring out of the basement of the Jet pizza parlor?”
“Yeah, then the truth got censored by the government." Jason continued, "Like Tarlson says, their station doesn’t censor what Democrats would like to censor. Jackal News stands up for the truth. For example, Tarlson told us that the real reason Putin invaded Ukraine was that Zolodymyr Velensky, the Ukrainian president, copied the US model of bird genocide and was using the method to kill all the Russian birds and is trying to replace the dead birds with robotic spy models. You know Tarlson always speaks the truth because the Jackal News motto is Standing Up for What’s True and Right.”
“That may be what he claims,” I said. “But I don’t believe him. However, I agree that censorship and secrecy are not right for a democracy. That is why I’m thankful for the whistleblowers who have the guts to come forth and tell the truth. And I don't very often watch Jackal News. But regardless of what Tarlson says about a government cover-up. I don’t believe the truth has been censored and I believe that birds are real because my son told me he dropped the tiny springs from his Erector set for an experiment into the birdbath to see if they would rust.
Names have been changed to protect some of the guilty.
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