| Humor Non-Fiction posted March 22, 2022 |
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How to look like a ...
A complete idiot!
by Wendy G
I prepared a very fine poem for a contest. Just a short one, a 5-7-5.
But it pleased me. I had a sense of excited anticipation. This one, surely, would earn a place for itself.
Time to reserve a spot in the contest.
I looked up the next available 5-7-5 contest, and pressed "Reserve a Spot".
What! To my shock, I had already entered something!
Really! How could that be? I never entered contests so far in advance!
I checked. Sure enough, one of my pieces was in there! However, it was not a 5-7-5! It was not even a poem. It was a story from last year.
How on earth …? Never mind.
Next step was to message Tom and ask if it could be removed – so I could enter my special 5-7-5, the product of much thought, and much rearrangement of words and syllables.
Yes, he could remove it – but no, I could not replace it with another entry. Could I edit it into the right format? No. Why not? Because the piece entered has already got reviews!
So, totally perplexed, I checked again. Yes, it did have reviews, but they were from November last year (and no-one mentioned that it was out of place for a 5-7-5!).
Yes, it was in a Flash Fiction contest last year, if memory serves me well – which obviously my memory may not be doing! I thought it gained a minor placing – but if so, that has disappeared too, along with the original Flash Fiction entry caption.
How could the same piece be entered into two contests? Or even posted twice?
Why did I not get the warning message: "This title has been used before – you must change your title!"?
Is there no message to say "Don't be silly! This is not a 5-7-5! This is a Flash Fiction story!" Obviously not.
The mystery deepens. I went to the section "My contests". To my surprise, the 5-7-5 place was still there, awaiting an entry. "Good!'' I thought. "This way, I can still enter my special little 5-7-5." I clicked on "Submit your poem!" – up came the message "Sorry you have entered …"
What! Why was the 5-7-5 reservation spot still there, if something had been entered? The booking spot normally disappeared when something is entered.
I had to accept the inevitable. I could have my entry removed – which would save embarrassment! – OR I could leave it there to be disqualified by the Committee – who of course would also question my sanity and/or my mental capacity. In short, they would think:"What an idiot!"
I think (but what would I know!) that entries for this contest are not visible to the FanStory readership, so I probably couldn't gain even a couple more reviews. If I leave it, and they CAN see it, all viewers will also think I am an idiot.
So: Flash fiction in a 5-7-5 contest. Worse – out-dated Flash Fiction.
What could be worse? Well …
Out of all my prose pieces, this particular piece had a ridiculous title. It was about my husband's crazy, scary driving.
The title of my story? "Idiot!"
Very apt. I do feel like a prize idiot! Known in international writing circles as an idiot!
PS This is my final sad message to Tom:
"The time has come. I have completed my period of mourning for my 5-7-5, which will never see life in the 5-7-5 contest… so please remove my "entry", aptly titled "Idiot". This way only you and I will know that I'm an idiot!"
And you!
Shh! Don't tell anyone!
I prepared a very fine poem for a contest. Just a short one, a 5-7-5.
But it pleased me. I had a sense of excited anticipation. This one, surely, would earn a place for itself.
Time to reserve a spot in the contest.
I looked up the next available 5-7-5 contest, and pressed "Reserve a Spot".
What! To my shock, I had already entered something!
Really! How could that be? I never entered contests so far in advance!
I checked. Sure enough, one of my pieces was in there! However, it was not a 5-7-5! It was not even a poem. It was a story from last year.
How on earth …? Never mind.
Next step was to message Tom and ask if it could be removed – so I could enter my special 5-7-5, the product of much thought, and much rearrangement of words and syllables.
Yes, he could remove it – but no, I could not replace it with another entry. Could I edit it into the right format? No. Why not? Because the piece entered has already got reviews!
So, totally perplexed, I checked again. Yes, it did have reviews, but they were from November last year (and no-one mentioned that it was out of place for a 5-7-5!).
Yes, it was in a Flash Fiction contest last year, if memory serves me well – which obviously my memory may not be doing! I thought it gained a minor placing – but if so, that has disappeared too, along with the original Flash Fiction entry caption.
How could the same piece be entered into two contests? Or even posted twice?
Why did I not get the warning message: "This title has been used before – you must change your title!"?
Is there no message to say "Don't be silly! This is not a 5-7-5! This is a Flash Fiction story!" Obviously not.
The mystery deepens. I went to the section "My contests". To my surprise, the 5-7-5 place was still there, awaiting an entry. "Good!'' I thought. "This way, I can still enter my special little 5-7-5." I clicked on "Submit your poem!" – up came the message "Sorry you have entered …"
What! Why was the 5-7-5 reservation spot still there, if something had been entered? The booking spot normally disappeared when something is entered.
I had to accept the inevitable. I could have my entry removed – which would save embarrassment! – OR I could leave it there to be disqualified by the Committee – who of course would also question my sanity and/or my mental capacity. In short, they would think:"What an idiot!"
I think (but what would I know!) that entries for this contest are not visible to the FanStory readership, so I probably couldn't gain even a couple more reviews. If I leave it, and they CAN see it, all viewers will also think I am an idiot.
So: Flash fiction in a 5-7-5 contest. Worse – out-dated Flash Fiction.
What could be worse? Well …
Out of all my prose pieces, this particular piece had a ridiculous title. It was about my husband's crazy, scary driving.
The title of my story? "Idiot!"
Very apt. I do feel like a prize idiot! Known in international writing circles as an idiot!
PS This is my final sad message to Tom:
"The time has come. I have completed my period of mourning for my 5-7-5, which will never see life in the 5-7-5 contest… so please remove my "entry", aptly titled "Idiot". This way only you and I will know that I'm an idiot!"
And you!
Shh! Don't tell anyone!
 Recognized |
#42 March 2022 |
I am totally bemused. As Tom says, it was clearly an error in the system.
Has anyone else had such a strange experience? Is anyone able to offer an explanation?
I went back to my Portfolio, and yes, the piece has been changed to an entry in a 5-7-5 contest! Curious.
There were twenty-three reviews �?�¢?? but none mentioned it being in a 5-7-5 contest. I can't help wondering about how, when, and why it changed.
I always knew there were little gremlins in these computers!
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. Has anyone else had such a strange experience? Is anyone able to offer an explanation?
I went back to my Portfolio, and yes, the piece has been changed to an entry in a 5-7-5 contest! Curious.
There were twenty-three reviews �?�¢?? but none mentioned it being in a 5-7-5 contest. I can't help wondering about how, when, and why it changed.
I always knew there were little gremlins in these computers!
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