Humor Fiction posted February 26, 2022

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Russian Family Story contest entry

Puppy Love Won

by DragonSkulls

Russian Family Story Contest Winner 

The author has placed a warning on this post for violence.

It all started two days ago, when Russia invaded Ukraine. I knew something
had to be done. Being a scientific engineer for most of my adult life gave me
the knowledge to actually build myself a real time machine. I've used it
numerous times already so I know it's fully functional. On the brink of WW3,
I knew it had to be used again. I went to my laboratory and made preparations.
I set the exact time, place and date of where I had to go. I closed the metal
chamber door, strapped into the chair and clicked "Engage."

Everything on the outside of the window quickly turned into a blur as the
quantamater's arms spun. Moments later, I was there. It was 1959 and I
exited the time machine almost right in front of the pet store in Russia.

Before I continue I must explain. From indepth studies, I discovered the
moment and the reasoning behind Putin's hatred towards mankind. It's
what turned him into the evil monster he is today. He was only seven at the
time. His parents had taken him to the pet store to adopt a puppy. While
his parents browsed the place, Vladimir went to the center of the store
where they had three puppies in a bin. When he approached, the smallest
one came up to him, wagging its little tail in delight. He picked it up and the
terrier started licking all over his face. The two instantly hit it off. That
was going to be his best friend from that moment on. Vladimir set the dog
back in the bin and ran to tell his parents. From his elated excitement, they
agreed. When he ran back to the bin, another man was already taking the
same puppy to the front for purchase. Putin leapt in front of him. "Wait, that's
the puppy I was going to get." He reached for the dog. "Let me have him!"

"Piss off, you little runt." The man stiff-armed him to the floor, bought the
dog and left. And there's the key reason for Putin's madness, a heartbroken
little boy that never healed.

Back to where I was. I entered the pet store and watched little Vladimir
connect with the tiny mutt, then run to his parents. Seconds later, I saw
the man chuckle as the mongrel licked his face too. This time, I stepped
in front of him. "That dog's already spoken for, sir."

He actually tried to stiff-arm me as well but instantly regretted that. I
grabbed his wrist and yanked him toward me. Once he hit the floor,
my .45 blew his brains out. Then I left and little Putin got his dog.

Not growing up hating humanity, Putin actually chased his true dream...dancing.
He became a male ballerina at the Bolshoi rather than a dictator.

Then, after car-bombing little Joey Biden and his family, I returned to now
and our world was again at peace. I single handedly stopped WW3.

You're welcome.


Writing Prompt
Write a short story (400-500 words) about Russia or Vladimir Putin that includes at least one of the following:

a) birth or adoption of children or animals
b) time travel
c) extreme violence
d) unwelcome sex
e) someone dying in a hospital

Your piece must include satire.

Russian Family Story
Contest Winner

Please read contest requirements.

Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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