Humor Fiction posted August 23, 2021 Chapters: 1 2 -3- 4... 

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An old lady calls her cousin to rant.

A chapter in the book Phone Calls from Caroline

Mad Enough To Bite Nails

by BethShelby


Is this you?

Yes, Caroline I’m here.

Well, I hope this is you, because the last two numbers I dialed wasn’t you. I’m so angry, I’m spitting nails. They got me so mad I couldn’t remember your number, and I had to go look it up. This is your cousin, Caroline.

Yes, we’ve established that. What’s going on?  Who are you angry with?

First let me ask you, what are you doing?

Well, I was writing, but I can stop and talk to you.  What’s going on?

I guess you’re writing that book of yours. I’m glad you're having fun doing something you like to do.  You better not be putting anything in that book about me.

It’s not about you.  Now, tell me, who are you mad with?

I’m mad with my mother. She makes me so mad, I want to spit in her face.

Caroline, you’re ninety-five years old. Your Mother's been dead thirty years. You mean Cindy? She is your daughter, not your mother.

Well, you know who I’m talking about. She acts like my mother. She's always telling me what I can and can’t do.

What has Cindy done to get you all riled up?

She took her side over mine. Her own Mother. Can you believe it. That woman told her some stuff, and she thinks it’s my fault. How would you feel if your daughter did that to you?

Okay, start over.  Whose side did she take? What woman?

You know what woman. One of them women they send over here that’s supposed to be helping me.

Are you talking about the new one you told me that you liked?  The one you said was a hard worker?’

Yeah, that woman. I thought she was gonna be okay to begin with, but today she kept that phone thing on her shoulder the whole time she was here.  I don’t know who she was talking to, but it wasn’t me.

She wasn’t doing her job?

I told her I wasn’t paying her to talk on the phone, and she started telling me all the work she had done for me. She got mad and asked if I wanted her to leave. I saw her eyes flashing evil. I told her the old devil was in this room. I told her we needed to pray.

What did she say when you told her that?

She looked at me like she thought I was crazy. I said a prayer, but I didn’t pray for her. I told Mama to tell her not to come back, and she said I’ve got to quit running everyone off.

You do need help, you know. I think they are running out of people willing to work for you.

Cindy’s afraid if they don’t come, she might have to spend some time over here helping me. She said I need to be kind to the people who work here. Took their side over mine, she did. My own mama, or daughter or whatever she is.

Cindy is seventy-five, herself. She’s probably not able to be over there all day. She has a husband to take care of. You need to try to control your temper. You know you do sound kind of mean when you get so aggravated.

Now, you’ve done it. I called you to help me calm down, before I have a stroke, and here you go blaming me too. To heck with all of you. I thought you was somebody I could count on.

Yeah, I heard you slam the phone down. If you don't quit hanging up on people, you're going to find yourself with nobody to listen to you rant, old lady.

Dialogue Only Prompt writing prompt entry
Writing Prompt
Write a story using only dialogue. No narration, descriptions, or sentence tags. Maximum word count: 1,000


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