Officer Cole needed to check in or they'd send a search patrol. And he didn't want to see any of his co-workers. He wanted to be alone. He pulled the receiver out from the box. "Cole checking in, nothing to report, just the usual, over."

"I read you," said Allison, the dispatcher. "Nothing for you."

"I'm off the highway at the Parish exit. Debris under the bridge I need to fetch before someone gets hurt. That's about it, over."

"Quiet summer day. Watch out for those bored teens and day drinkers, over."

"Over and out."

Cole spent most of the day off the main roads, traveling country routes through the state forest. As he watched a family of wild turkeys cross the road, he didn't mind becoming a wildlife crossing guard for the rest of his shift.

Starting back toward the highway, Cole realized how close he was to his daughter's graveyard. His hands wrung the wheel on the winding and wooded Grange Road. Tall trees and branches encroached the road until a sliver of light slipped through.

Old oaks guarded the cemetery and gave the grange hall building in front, a peeling white structure the look of something out of time and place when farms ruled the land. With his window down, Cole's nose found the smell of damp rotted woods and trapped leaves.

The cemetery was on a hill behind the building. Most of the graves were old from the civil war or before. The thought of it made Luke feel like his daughter was in the wrong time and place. But he knew his daughter wasn't there. He didn't want to think of her in that way. It would explain why he hadn't visited it in more than two years. The gravel crunched beneath his wheels and the roots from trees bucked the car leading toward Taylor's grave.


Cole stumbled out of his police car. He knew where to find her up on the knoll where a flurry of birds sang in the trees. Beyond the cemetery a hayfield appeared in a clearing where bales of hay had been harvested, rolled, turning gold in the sun. He tripped along on the uneven path, not wanting to tread on someone else's grave.


As he stumbled along, Cole spied her black marble stone and stood before it, as if a millstone ringed his neck. He felt as if heaven watched him from above and ghostly residents lurked in the shadows. There was no comfort in the place. He'd rather think of her in heaven. The headstone read, "Forever in our hearts, a love without end, Amen."

Cole fell to his knees, grass stains and all. He looked around, expecting someone to surprise him. It would have looked weird for an officer to be crouched down, a few hundred yards from his cruiser.

Officer Cole thought about putting the gun to his head. After all the years of service, if it wasn't for his family, what good was it? What good was saving others if he couldn't save his own daughter?

"I love you Taylor. I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do. I don't deserve to be with you, but if I could see you..." His voice choked. His shoulders shuddered. A sting of tears rolled down his face. "It's all my fault. But I can't make it right. I need to be with you."

Cole pulled the gun from his holster and thought about putting it to his temple, but hoping for a sign, a signal to give him a shred of hope. He raised it toward him. The birds chirped. A breeze kicked up and fluttered through the trees until it found his bones.

The sound of another vehicle, wheels crunching on gravel made him holster his gun. He whirred around, stood up, watched it pass through on the horseshoe trail. It was a new black truck, tinted windows. It made like it would stop, but as Luke started for his patrol car, it kept going. Packing his gun suddenly felt right with the world again. Life was made of moments. One moment could be death, another saving someone.

The truck brake lights glowed in the distance, and then disappeared from around the other side of the building below. Luke left Taylor and his thoughts behind.

Luke found his dutiful stride, dipped into his patrol car and headed back for the station. Pulling into the police station, Cole looked at his watch. He was early but didn't care. He was still trying to figure out what he would do about the restraining order from his wife and where he would spend the night.

Luke walked inside and waved at Allison the police dispatcher, then gave the chief a nod who was on the phone tucked into his glass fishbowl of an office. In the locker room, he hoped to change into his street clothes, fill out his ledger and not talk to anyone. But that didn't stop the captain from strolling over from his office. The man had amazing peripheral vision, a freak like ability to see around walls.

Cole tried to pretend he didn't notice Captain Edwards when he heard the shuffle of his feet and watched his shadow fall on the locker door. He looked down and unbuttoned his police shirt and sat on the bench in his underwear. Nothing like having your privacy invaded.

Cole heard him sigh, felt his boss breathing on his neck. "Cole come by my office before you leave. We have to talk."

He looked up at the captain and nodded. As the captain spun around, Cole was struck by the fact that he didn't whistle when shuffled away. The man seemed to age every day, unlike Cole's strands of grey, this man needed hair dye. His head was white as snow and his mustache resembled a worn brush. But he never walked without a smile and an out of tune whistle. But that's what bothered Cole. Whatever he wanted to talk about with him must be serious.

Does he know he got divorce papers and a restraining order? Does he know about the incident with the kids on the bridge, or maybe the speeding, buzzing by cars until he ran them off the road?

After Cole had his jeans and put his sneakers on, he threw on his t-shirt and grabbed his duffle bag. He figured he might be spending the night in his jeep which had left in the parking lot. He didn't want to make the drive to camp, but he could live in his cabin for the summer.

The captain's door was open, but he almost knocked anyway. "Cole, you know you don't have to knock, come in. Have a seat."

Sitting in a small plastic chair, Cole felt out of place, like he was in a junior high principal's office.

"Cole, you've been going through a rough patch lately."

"You might say so."

"What I mean, without beating around bush. I'm offering you a PAID LEAVE of absence."

"I suppose I could use up the rest of my vacation time, and a few personal days. I wouldn't mind spending time at the cabin."

"Not exactly what I mean, Cole. I'm putting you on administrative paid leave for one month."

"Cole lifted from his chair and his neck muscles tightened. "You talked to my wife? She told you?"

"Listen Cole, it's my decision. You need time off."

Cole stood and looked for something to hit. "How is it my wife gets to influence a police chief, and take the only therapy I got? My work!"

"Sit down Cole, no one else knows around here, nothing, not anything like a divorce or a restraining order."

Cole obeyed and sat. Captain Edwards was about the only one left who could keep him on a leash. Nothing about this day seemed right. Most people would have jumped from their seat and ran out the door happy as a clown in a bouncy house, but not Cole. "I can't. I got to work."

The captain lost whatever was left of his smile. He leaned toward Cole, making the air heavy. "I got a call from someone on highway 81 going south, said you almost took them out near mile marker 23."

"Since when do drivers make judgements about my speed? I thought I saw some kids on a bridge throwing bricks."

"It wasn't just anybody. You ran the mayor's wife off the road, Cole. And she described your look as pretty darn scary."

Cole stood again. But Edwards stood with him. "You think that insulated B knows what I'm supposed to look like when I'm in pursuit?"

"Listen to me Cole, you need to take time off. I'm giving you paid leave. Make the most of it. And get some help." He slipped a card from his shirt pocket and handed it to Cole. "Dr. Haley is good. Not just a pretty face. She's helped officers with PTSD."

Cole snatched the card and said nothing else, but to him it was like the end of his career. He had a hard time seeing how he would cope with being kept from his home and the police station all in one day. His mind was on a spin cycle. He left, kicking over a trash can and leaving a mark on the door.

Cole stepped out into the fresh air, free and homeless. It made him think of the old song he liked when he was a kid, "Freedoms just another word for nothing left to lose."

Demons whispered in his ear, looking for a soft place to drill into his soul.