| Humor Flash Fiction posted January 18, 2021 |
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Fragrance-free and ineffectual
Emperor's Cologne
by Elizabeth Emerald
My man-friend is hypersensitive to smell. Chuck declines to replace his filthy rugs because he can't abide the emanations from new carpet. Ironically, Chuck is nasally-challenged as regards the (euphemism alert:) "mustiness" permeating his sundry area rugs, which served as training pads for Frisky, his boyhood pup.
Segue to:
My daughter continually battles the double-wide cat box with fusillades of Febreze. Lauren's room is upstairs, rear left. From the den, downstairs, front right, Chuck sniffs out, to his displeasure, ethereal wafts of "fresh" scent hours after its application. (The unadulterated reek of "business box" doesn't bother him.)
The original Febreze was fragrance-free. Though it removed objectionable odors, customers objected to its absence of replacement scent. Febreeze reformulated the product; it now offers the typical array of refreshments.
Google confirmed that scent-free Febreze is no longer manufactured. I searched out substitutes and ordered a six-pack of Smells Begone.
As advertised, it's odorless.
It's also useless. May as well be spraying tap water.
Segue to:
... scanning label for ... Ingredients: ... ? Contents: ... ?
No matter. Nondisclosure notwithstanding, I can assert, with 100% confidence, that the product is comprised of 100% H2O.
Distilled, likely: no mineral taste.
My man-friend is hypersensitive to smell. Chuck declines to replace his filthy rugs because he can't abide the emanations from new carpet. Ironically, Chuck is nasally-challenged as regards the (euphemism alert:) "mustiness" permeating his sundry area rugs, which served as training pads for Frisky, his boyhood pup.
Segue to:
My daughter continually battles the double-wide cat box with fusillades of Febreze. Lauren's room is upstairs, rear left. From the den, downstairs, front right, Chuck sniffs out, to his displeasure, ethereal wafts of "fresh" scent hours after its application. (The unadulterated reek of "business box" doesn't bother him.)
The original Febreze was fragrance-free. Though it removed objectionable odors, customers objected to its absence of replacement scent. Febreeze reformulated the product; it now offers the typical array of refreshments.
Segue to:
... scanning label for ... Ingredients: ... ? Contents: ... ?
No matter. Nondisclosure notwithstanding, I can assert, with 100% confidence, that the product is comprised of 100% H2O.
Distilled, likely: no mineral taste.
Segue to:
My daughter continually battles the double-wide cat box with fusillades of Febreze. Lauren's room is upstairs, rear left. From the den, downstairs, front right, Chuck sniffs out, to his displeasure, ethereal wafts of "fresh" scent hours after its application. (The unadulterated reek of "business box" doesn't bother him.)
The original Febreze was fragrance-free. Though it removed objectionable odors, customers objected to its absence of replacement scent. Febreeze reformulated the product; it now offers the typical array of refreshments.
Google confirmed that scent-free Febreze is no longer manufactured. I searched out substitutes and ordered a six-pack of Smells Begone.
As advertised, it's odorless.
It's also useless. May as well be spraying tap water.
As advertised, it's odorless.
It's also useless. May as well be spraying tap water.
Segue to:
... scanning label for ... Ingredients: ... ? Contents: ... ?
No matter. Nondisclosure notwithstanding, I can assert, with 100% confidence, that the product is comprised of 100% H2O.
Distilled, likely: no mineral taste.
 Recognized |
Green Drops of Water by avmurray on FanArtReview.com THANK YOU!
FLASHing solo (sans contest) at <200 words
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. FLASHing solo (sans contest) at <200 words
Artwork by avmurray at FanArtReview.com
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