Satire Flash Fiction posted January 3, 2021 | Chapters: |
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doomsday trick
A chapter in the book The Corona saga
The Hand
by Iza Deleanu
Sunday, Monday, Doomsday... Contest Winner
Sunday, Monday, Doomsday all crap goes back to hell! They should put the Doom between Monday and Sunday, which will be a better spot. Here comes Sunday, sleep late and then wake up having nightmares about Monday when you have to go to the same crapenstein. I get dressed and force a smile and greet with a half asleep voice: Good Morning, Ms. Monday! Nice to see you again! I and my coworkers' have our inside joke; for us every day it's Friday. So when we meet in front of the coffee maker, we great each other with Happy Friday. Then I take the Doomsday one step further and I cheerfully answer: Man, can you believe it that tomorrow I'm flying to Jamaica?
Awesome don't forget my magnet, pretty please and my Blue Mountain Coffee.
After our brief conversation, I am going back to my desk and check my calendar. Oh, no! My Boss did it again! I have three meetings for three hours in which I will be speaking the whole time. I thought that my English is not good enough for this task! I guess this is my punishment: leading all these non-sense meetings, just to justify some other people's existence. Every two weeks, my Monday it's truly Friday; on that day my Boss is off, and I have no meetings. Hurray! I can dream with my eyes open and listening to my eastern European music.
Now I am a fan of the Serbian and Croatian music. I am thinking that we need to listen to all kinds of music; this is the only way to expand my cultural sensitivity. I start liking even the Hungarian music, despite the fact that my country held a grudge with them because of Transylvania. You see, I appreciate the music and I try not to get mixed up in the politics!
2020 was a global doomsday; all of us have been in lockdown for months. For some fanatics it was truly doomsday, because they started saying that God is punishing us with this virus. But how would God be punishing us? He didn't make the virus. We did! Somebody let it loose in the country where they literally eat everything! Have you heard about this joke: "How is 2021 going to look like? The answer: Depending on what the Chinese will be eating!"
Have you noticed that every year there is a nation that is declared the doomsday hand of fear? In 2001 the Arabs became the most hated nation. If you were wearing a turban and had a bear automatically you became a terrorist. It's been twenty years, but the hate is still there. You see one, you run because of the Doomsday!
Now the Chinese are "hot incommodities"! They have been the best carriers for the Virus, and bonus they infiltrated all the countries in the world and started to weaken their economy. Please, don't jump down my throat this is the Doomsday effect, I swear!
So, enjoy your Monday till Sunday, because you don't know when the Doomsday is going to hit like a ... hand! Do you think 2021 will lead us to our Doom? I don't know, I am still in Vacation, so wait until Monday and I will foretell!
Sunday, Monday, Doomsday all crap goes back to hell! They should put the Doom between Monday and Sunday, which will be a better spot. Here comes Sunday, sleep late and then wake up having nightmares about Monday when you have to go to the same crapenstein. I get dressed and force a smile and greet with a half asleep voice: Good Morning, Ms. Monday! Nice to see you again! I and my coworkers' have our inside joke; for us every day it's Friday. So when we meet in front of the coffee maker, we great each other with Happy Friday. Then I take the Doomsday one step further and I cheerfully answer: Man, can you believe it that tomorrow I'm flying to Jamaica?
Awesome don't forget my magnet, pretty please and my Blue Mountain Coffee.
After our brief conversation, I am going back to my desk and check my calendar. Oh, no! My Boss did it again! I have three meetings for three hours in which I will be speaking the whole time. I thought that my English is not good enough for this task! I guess this is my punishment: leading all these non-sense meetings, just to justify some other people's existence. Every two weeks, my Monday it's truly Friday; on that day my Boss is off, and I have no meetings. Hurray! I can dream with my eyes open and listening to my eastern European music.
Now I am a fan of the Serbian and Croatian music. I am thinking that we need to listen to all kinds of music; this is the only way to expand my cultural sensitivity. I start liking even the Hungarian music, despite the fact that my country held a grudge with them because of Transylvania. You see, I appreciate the music and I try not to get mixed up in the politics!
2020 was a global doomsday; all of us have been in lockdown for months. For some fanatics it was truly doomsday, because they started saying that God is punishing us with this virus. But how would God be punishing us? He didn't make the virus. We did! Somebody let it loose in the country where they literally eat everything! Have you heard about this joke: "How is 2021 going to look like? The answer: Depending on what the Chinese will be eating!"
Have you noticed that every year there is a nation that is declared the doomsday hand of fear? In 2001 the Arabs became the most hated nation. If you were wearing a turban and had a bear automatically you became a terrorist. It's been twenty years, but the hate is still there. You see one, you run because of the Doomsday!
Now the Chinese are "hot incommodities"! They have been the best carriers for the Virus, and bonus they infiltrated all the countries in the world and started to weaken their economy. Please, don't jump down my throat this is the Doomsday effect, I swear!
So, enjoy your Monday till Sunday, because you don't know when the Doomsday is going to hit like a ... hand! Do you think 2021 will lead us to our Doom? I don't know, I am still in Vacation, so wait until Monday and I will foretell!
Awesome don't forget my magnet, pretty please and my Blue Mountain Coffee.
After our brief conversation, I am going back to my desk and check my calendar. Oh, no! My Boss did it again! I have three meetings for three hours in which I will be speaking the whole time. I thought that my English is not good enough for this task! I guess this is my punishment: leading all these non-sense meetings, just to justify some other people's existence. Every two weeks, my Monday it's truly Friday; on that day my Boss is off, and I have no meetings. Hurray! I can dream with my eyes open and listening to my eastern European music.
Now I am a fan of the Serbian and Croatian music. I am thinking that we need to listen to all kinds of music; this is the only way to expand my cultural sensitivity. I start liking even the Hungarian music, despite the fact that my country held a grudge with them because of Transylvania. You see, I appreciate the music and I try not to get mixed up in the politics!
2020 was a global doomsday; all of us have been in lockdown for months. For some fanatics it was truly doomsday, because they started saying that God is punishing us with this virus. But how would God be punishing us? He didn't make the virus. We did! Somebody let it loose in the country where they literally eat everything! Have you heard about this joke: "How is 2021 going to look like? The answer: Depending on what the Chinese will be eating!"
Have you noticed that every year there is a nation that is declared the doomsday hand of fear? In 2001 the Arabs became the most hated nation. If you were wearing a turban and had a bear automatically you became a terrorist. It's been twenty years, but the hate is still there. You see one, you run because of the Doomsday!
Now the Chinese are "hot incommodities"! They have been the best carriers for the Virus, and bonus they infiltrated all the countries in the world and started to weaken their economy. Please, don't jump down my throat this is the Doomsday effect, I swear!
So, enjoy your Monday till Sunday, because you don't know when the Doomsday is going to hit like a ... hand! Do you think 2021 will lead us to our Doom? I don't know, I am still in Vacation, so wait until Monday and I will foretell!
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