| Spiritual Fiction posted December 1, 2020 |
  |
life wonders
The nun
by Iza Deleanu
Love your enemy the same way you love yourself! Easy to say, hard to achieve! I have tried so hard, but I am a sinner living in a crazy world. Please forgive me, Lord, your world is perfect, and is not your fault that I just lost my way. Every day, I wake up and pray for your blessings. The first hours of the days are perfect: I am calm and ready to conquer the world, but then "my demons" come on-line and all my peace of mind, my sweet Nirvana is gone with the wind.
Since I work from home is harder. There are so many misunderstandings. People have lost their capacity to listen to each other. All of us seem to be speaking different languages because we don't understand each other anymore. Sometimes in my meetings I imagine myself screaming: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Babylon!" In those moments, everybody is speaking in the same time, and nobody makes any sense! The only thing I can do, it's take a step back and enjoy the show. My patience is out of control, and I honestly feel like screaming: "guys let's go back to the topic of the meeting!" In brackets, I am bursting with rage: "I don't give a shit about what dress you bought, or what shoes are you going to wear when the pandemic is over. You gave me thirty minutes to present this project and I lost twenty-five already. Oh, no I can't take another reschedule! You guys, you know very well that I hate the regroup notion! Just imagine if you were a surgeon and you talk non-sense for thirty minutes and then you remember: "Oh, crap I have another surgery in five minutes. Nurse, scalpel! Clean that blood! Good! Let's take this sucker out! Congratulation, Sir, your colon is gone! You don't have to worry about your weight anymore. You will eat quite light, if you know what I mean!" Just imagine the confusion of that poor guy, he went under the knife for a simple appendicitis and now he still has it, but the colon is gone!" Yup, details! Who cares?
Let's go back to my working reality. One word, and my world is crumpling like a piece of paper. Why I can be calm and just ignore the stupidity of my coworkers? Why can I just take my paycheque, and don't give a damn about how the things are done. I am pretty sure if I do that, I will live a longer and have a peaceful life, but I can't. You gave us wisdom and playing the game, it feels like I am not respecting your precious gift. Oops, I just speak bad about "my neighbor!" Oh, Lord have mercy!
There comes another day and I wake up in the morning to the same old struggle. If I was more pious I will just forget this world and go into the mountains, I will find a cave and just pray the whole day and night. When I was little, I wanted to become a nun. Soon I realized that I will be more of a Whoopi Goldberg kind of nun. The first rule of becoming a nun is to listen and obey. Trust me I never exceled in that area and being born in a communist country didn't help either. I was born a rebel and probably I will die one, hence my trouble in adjusting to my new reality in my new country. It's been ten years, and I am still using this lame excuse:" Oh, I am so different. I like to use my brain. So much "horse-radish", if you know what I mean! Sometimes I think, if I get drunk it will be easy not to care, but I can't drink, so I try to pray every time my will goes to war with the stupidity of our times. I have to cross myself and pretend not to see the backstabbing and just move on.
Finally, it hit me: I don't have to say it, but prove it. Work under ground and play the stupid game. Wait, a minute, I am a pro at this. God, I'm such an idiot. I was train in this area since day one, you know socialism and all! I know what to do: work smarter, not harder! Improvise, play it by ear, and you will be fine. Seriously, you don't need a script for any situation. Just adjust and adapt. Voila! This is the key to survival my friend.
When they complain about masks, pandemic, vaccine, don't argue! Just go with the flow, and if you want a piece of mind don't say what you think. Just say, "It's all in God's hand!" Trust me! They will leave you alone. Nobody wants to deal with God. You better be categorized as delusional, than getting them angry!
***
It's December already. This year it's a blur for some, but I can't complain. I would like to think that I am wiser? Ha, ha, ha! Vanity is the game, vanity is my name! See, how easy is to sin. Go away, Mr. Devil. Oops, I did again. I am blaming somebody else for my own mistake. Oh, no, this makes me a bad person. Man, it's so hard to keep up, my conscience is going to kill me. Keep quiet and be calm! Stop thinking... give me some Zen, please!
A couple of days ago we have started the Nativity Lent and this year I understood that is not only about what you eat, but is also about what you say and think. Mr. Devil it's already here and is weaving "temptations". I feel you my kitty, now I know why the sound of TEMPTATIONS makes you go "nachos". If I don't say anything, then I think something bad. So no matter what I do, it seems I am always in the fryer. My poor priest, he have no chance but to listen to all my bla-bla-bla. He is one of the good ones, he suffers for all of us. He wants all of us to be saved and to be better.
Sorry, I am so stubborn and hard to reshape in something good and better. And here we go again; my life is a roller-coaster that goes up and down with no strings attached. What will be the point? We must prepare for heaven, after all we come with nothing, will go with nothing. I know, this fake nun has two cats and family, and leaving them behind will be painful, but we need to do better. We need to care when we have to care, to cry when is a moment of pain, and to laugh when we are happy. My ancestor discovered the secret of a happy life in a happy death. Let me explain the concept: when someone was dying they used to laugh and dance. They were saying that that poor soul will be in heaven soon and will be free of the hardship of this life. When a child was born, they used to cry, because they know about the hardship of that soul that will have to endure in this life.
I know it sounds and seem so antagonist and extreme, but if we think and we see the things through God's perspective, my ancestors were right. We don't need castles here, but we need them in heaven. Our life here it's a temporary landing zone where we must prepare for the greatest adventure of our lives, our accession to heaven or... hell.
Just imagine Peter waiting at the door and asking: "Have you been a good kid today?" What will happen to me if my answer will be: "so and so"! I wonder if there is a place for "so and so" people just like me. God is good teacher. He sends us signs to repent. God is our miracle worker, and we are so lucky to have a direct line to HIM. Sometimes one good deed and erase all your mistakes. And see how we are, we start chasing the big thing, forgetting the small things that can save us. There is no user manual for the Big Deed! Your life it's an open book and the burden of truth is on you. You open the book and whatever you write is your problem. Just remember, God gave you the freedom to choose and make your own destiny.
Some of you are already tired of my rumbling and non-sense theory of life and death. Please forgive me, I am just talking from the perspective of a nun, a fake nun.
***
Now let's visit the competition. They are the best salesman. Whatever you need, is there with no effort. The only condition written in small format it's your precious soul. You know, I always wonder, what is Mr. D. doing with so many souls? You know easy life it's always desirable. We all want to have things, money and to be forever happy because we have things. We just move in circles around the materials things. I wonder about the parking spots downstairs and the living condition... since there are so many habitants. If heaven is one, hell is made of lots of circles, so exactly like a parkade or so they say. How boring to stay in the same circle with the same lost souls. We know so much about Hell, but Heaven it's still something that we describe as perfect: green and flowers. Heaven it's such a mysterious place and we need to work so hard to achieve it. The true nuns are praying for our salvation, maybe because of them will get a second chance to repent. Maybe this Christmas the providence will send me my Big Deed that will allow me to save my soul.
Should I be the Secret Santa for someone in need? Or maybe help with the meals for the poor? Maybe just pray more and harder, that could be a solution. Usually I am the eternal optimist and I let myself fall trusting God that is going to catch me and save me. I know this is so kamikaze. I learnt from the best. My grandparents took me to church since I was little, and they taught me that nothing is impossible if you trust God... all you have to do is to BELIEVE.
Last Sunday, that is what I did. I prayed and wished that the virus will go away. I cried and asked God to save the children and to give us a second chance, and mostly I pray for his patience and guidance. As usual the ME section come back on scene. "My Lord, please be the one who speaks for me, I need your wisdom to stay away from the temptations and bad thoughts. God give me patience and endurance, guide my life all the way."
Thank you,
Sincerely yours
The Fake Nun
Brett Matthew West Prose Challenge contest entry
Love your enemy the same way you love yourself! Easy to say, hard to achieve! I have tried so hard, but I am a sinner living in a crazy world. Please forgive me, Lord, your world is perfect, and is not your fault that I just lost my way. Every day, I wake up and pray for your blessings. The first hours of the days are perfect: I am calm and ready to conquer the world, but then "my demons" come on-line and all my peace of mind, my sweet Nirvana is gone with the wind.
Since I work from home is harder. There are so many misunderstandings. People have lost their capacity to listen to each other. All of us seem to be speaking different languages because we don't understand each other anymore. Sometimes in my meetings I imagine myself screaming: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Babylon!" In those moments, everybody is speaking in the same time, and nobody makes any sense! The only thing I can do, it's take a step back and enjoy the show. My patience is out of control, and I honestly feel like screaming: "guys let's go back to the topic of the meeting!" In brackets, I am bursting with rage: "I don't give a shit about what dress you bought, or what shoes are you going to wear when the pandemic is over. You gave me thirty minutes to present this project and I lost twenty-five already. Oh, no I can't take another reschedule! You guys, you know very well that I hate the regroup notion! Just imagine if you were a surgeon and you talk non-sense for thirty minutes and then you remember: "Oh, crap I have another surgery in five minutes. Nurse, scalpel! Clean that blood! Good! Let's take this sucker out! Congratulation, Sir, your colon is gone! You don't have to worry about your weight anymore. You will eat quite light, if you know what I mean!" Just imagine the confusion of that poor guy, he went under the knife for a simple appendicitis and now he still has it, but the colon is gone!" Yup, details! Who cares?
Let's go back to my working reality. One word, and my world is crumpling like a piece of paper. Why I can be calm and just ignore the stupidity of my coworkers? Why can I just take my paycheque, and don't give a damn about how the things are done. I am pretty sure if I do that, I will live a longer and have a peaceful life, but I can't. You gave us wisdom and playing the game, it feels like I am not respecting your precious gift. Oops, I just speak bad about "my neighbor!" Oh, Lord have mercy!
There comes another day and I wake up in the morning to the same old struggle. If I was more pious I will just forget this world and go into the mountains, I will find a cave and just pray the whole day and night. When I was little, I wanted to become a nun. Soon I realized that I will be more of a Whoopi Goldberg kind of nun. The first rule of becoming a nun is to listen and obey. Trust me I never exceled in that area and being born in a communist country didn't help either. I was born a rebel and probably I will die one, hence my trouble in adjusting to my new reality in my new country. It's been ten years, and I am still using this lame excuse:" Oh, I am so different. I like to use my brain. So much "horse-radish", if you know what I mean! Sometimes I think, if I get drunk it will be easy not to care, but I can't drink, so I try to pray every time my will goes to war with the stupidity of our times. I have to cross myself and pretend not to see the backstabbing and just move on.
Finally, it hit me: I don't have to say it, but prove it. Work under ground and play the stupid game. Wait, a minute, I am a pro at this. God, I'm such an idiot. I was train in this area since day one, you know socialism and all! I know what to do: work smarter, not harder! Improvise, play it by ear, and you will be fine. Seriously, you don't need a script for any situation. Just adjust and adapt. Voila! This is the key to survival my friend.
When they complain about masks, pandemic, vaccine, don't argue! Just go with the flow, and if you want a piece of mind don't say what you think. Just say, "It's all in God's hand!" Trust me! They will leave you alone. Nobody wants to deal with God. You better be categorized as delusional, than getting them angry!
***
It's December already. This year it's a blur for some, but I can't complain. I would like to think that I am wiser? Ha, ha, ha! Vanity is the game, vanity is my name! See, how easy is to sin. Go away, Mr. Devil. Oops, I did again. I am blaming somebody else for my own mistake. Oh, no, this makes me a bad person. Man, it's so hard to keep up, my conscience is going to kill me. Keep quiet and be calm! Stop thinking... give me some Zen, please!
A couple of days ago we have started the Nativity Lent and this year I understood that is not only about what you eat, but is also about what you say and think. Mr. Devil it's already here and is weaving "temptations". I feel you my kitty, now I know why the sound of TEMPTATIONS makes you go "nachos". If I don't say anything, then I think something bad. So no matter what I do, it seems I am always in the fryer. My poor priest, he have no chance but to listen to all my bla-bla-bla. He is one of the good ones, he suffers for all of us. He wants all of us to be saved and to be better.
Sorry, I am so stubborn and hard to reshape in something good and better. And here we go again; my life is a roller-coaster that goes up and down with no strings attached. What will be the point? We must prepare for heaven, after all we come with nothing, will go with nothing. I know, this fake nun has two cats and family, and leaving them behind will be painful, but we need to do better. We need to care when we have to care, to cry when is a moment of pain, and to laugh when we are happy. My ancestor discovered the secret of a happy life in a happy death. Let me explain the concept: when someone was dying they used to laugh and dance. They were saying that that poor soul will be in heaven soon and will be free of the hardship of this life. When a child was born, they used to cry, because they know about the hardship of that soul that will have to endure in this life.
I know it sounds and seem so antagonist and extreme, but if we think and we see the things through God's perspective, my ancestors were right. We don't need castles here, but we need them in heaven. Our life here it's a temporary landing zone where we must prepare for the greatest adventure of our lives, our accession to heaven or... hell.
Just imagine Peter waiting at the door and asking: "Have you been a good kid today?" What will happen to me if my answer will be: "so and so"! I wonder if there is a place for "so and so" people just like me. God is good teacher. He sends us signs to repent. God is our miracle worker, and we are so lucky to have a direct line to HIM. Sometimes one good deed and erase all your mistakes. And see how we are, we start chasing the big thing, forgetting the small things that can save us. There is no user manual for the Big Deed! Your life it's an open book and the burden of truth is on you. You open the book and whatever you write is your problem. Just remember, God gave you the freedom to choose and make your own destiny.
Some of you are already tired of my rumbling and non-sense theory of life and death. Please forgive me, I am just talking from the perspective of a nun, a fake nun.
***
Now let's visit the competition. They are the best salesman. Whatever you need, is there with no effort. The only condition written in small format it's your precious soul. You know, I always wonder, what is Mr. D. doing with so many souls? You know easy life it's always desirable. We all want to have things, money and to be forever happy because we have things. We just move in circles around the materials things. I wonder about the parking spots downstairs and the living condition... since there are so many habitants. If heaven is one, hell is made of lots of circles, so exactly like a parkade or so they say. How boring to stay in the same circle with the same lost souls. We know so much about Hell, but Heaven it's still something that we describe as perfect: green and flowers. Heaven it's such a mysterious place and we need to work so hard to achieve it. The true nuns are praying for our salvation, maybe because of them will get a second chance to repent. Maybe this Christmas the providence will send me my Big Deed that will allow me to save my soul.
Should I be the Secret Santa for someone in need? Or maybe help with the meals for the poor? Maybe just pray more and harder, that could be a solution. Usually I am the eternal optimist and I let myself fall trusting God that is going to catch me and save me. I know this is so kamikaze. I learnt from the best. My grandparents took me to church since I was little, and they taught me that nothing is impossible if you trust God... all you have to do is to BELIEVE.
Last Sunday, that is what I did. I prayed and wished that the virus will go away. I cried and asked God to save the children and to give us a second chance, and mostly I pray for his patience and guidance. As usual the ME section come back on scene. "My Lord, please be the one who speaks for me, I need your wisdom to stay away from the temptations and bad thoughts. God give me patience and endurance, guide my life all the way."
Thank you,
Sincerely yours
The Fake Nun
Since I work from home is harder. There are so many misunderstandings. People have lost their capacity to listen to each other. All of us seem to be speaking different languages because we don't understand each other anymore. Sometimes in my meetings I imagine myself screaming: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Babylon!" In those moments, everybody is speaking in the same time, and nobody makes any sense! The only thing I can do, it's take a step back and enjoy the show. My patience is out of control, and I honestly feel like screaming: "guys let's go back to the topic of the meeting!" In brackets, I am bursting with rage: "I don't give a shit about what dress you bought, or what shoes are you going to wear when the pandemic is over. You gave me thirty minutes to present this project and I lost twenty-five already. Oh, no I can't take another reschedule! You guys, you know very well that I hate the regroup notion! Just imagine if you were a surgeon and you talk non-sense for thirty minutes and then you remember: "Oh, crap I have another surgery in five minutes. Nurse, scalpel! Clean that blood! Good! Let's take this sucker out! Congratulation, Sir, your colon is gone! You don't have to worry about your weight anymore. You will eat quite light, if you know what I mean!" Just imagine the confusion of that poor guy, he went under the knife for a simple appendicitis and now he still has it, but the colon is gone!" Yup, details! Who cares?
Let's go back to my working reality. One word, and my world is crumpling like a piece of paper. Why I can be calm and just ignore the stupidity of my coworkers? Why can I just take my paycheque, and don't give a damn about how the things are done. I am pretty sure if I do that, I will live a longer and have a peaceful life, but I can't. You gave us wisdom and playing the game, it feels like I am not respecting your precious gift. Oops, I just speak bad about "my neighbor!" Oh, Lord have mercy!
There comes another day and I wake up in the morning to the same old struggle. If I was more pious I will just forget this world and go into the mountains, I will find a cave and just pray the whole day and night. When I was little, I wanted to become a nun. Soon I realized that I will be more of a Whoopi Goldberg kind of nun. The first rule of becoming a nun is to listen and obey. Trust me I never exceled in that area and being born in a communist country didn't help either. I was born a rebel and probably I will die one, hence my trouble in adjusting to my new reality in my new country. It's been ten years, and I am still using this lame excuse:" Oh, I am so different. I like to use my brain. So much "horse-radish", if you know what I mean! Sometimes I think, if I get drunk it will be easy not to care, but I can't drink, so I try to pray every time my will goes to war with the stupidity of our times. I have to cross myself and pretend not to see the backstabbing and just move on.
Finally, it hit me: I don't have to say it, but prove it. Work under ground and play the stupid game. Wait, a minute, I am a pro at this. God, I'm such an idiot. I was train in this area since day one, you know socialism and all! I know what to do: work smarter, not harder! Improvise, play it by ear, and you will be fine. Seriously, you don't need a script for any situation. Just adjust and adapt. Voila! This is the key to survival my friend.
When they complain about masks, pandemic, vaccine, don't argue! Just go with the flow, and if you want a piece of mind don't say what you think. Just say, "It's all in God's hand!" Trust me! They will leave you alone. Nobody wants to deal with God. You better be categorized as delusional, than getting them angry!
***
It's December already. This year it's a blur for some, but I can't complain. I would like to think that I am wiser? Ha, ha, ha! Vanity is the game, vanity is my name! See, how easy is to sin. Go away, Mr. Devil. Oops, I did again. I am blaming somebody else for my own mistake. Oh, no, this makes me a bad person. Man, it's so hard to keep up, my conscience is going to kill me. Keep quiet and be calm! Stop thinking... give me some Zen, please!
A couple of days ago we have started the Nativity Lent and this year I understood that is not only about what you eat, but is also about what you say and think. Mr. Devil it's already here and is weaving "temptations". I feel you my kitty, now I know why the sound of TEMPTATIONS makes you go "nachos". If I don't say anything, then I think something bad. So no matter what I do, it seems I am always in the fryer. My poor priest, he have no chance but to listen to all my bla-bla-bla. He is one of the good ones, he suffers for all of us. He wants all of us to be saved and to be better.
Sorry, I am so stubborn and hard to reshape in something good and better. And here we go again; my life is a roller-coaster that goes up and down with no strings attached. What will be the point? We must prepare for heaven, after all we come with nothing, will go with nothing. I know, this fake nun has two cats and family, and leaving them behind will be painful, but we need to do better. We need to care when we have to care, to cry when is a moment of pain, and to laugh when we are happy. My ancestor discovered the secret of a happy life in a happy death. Let me explain the concept: when someone was dying they used to laugh and dance. They were saying that that poor soul will be in heaven soon and will be free of the hardship of this life. When a child was born, they used to cry, because they know about the hardship of that soul that will have to endure in this life.
I know it sounds and seem so antagonist and extreme, but if we think and we see the things through God's perspective, my ancestors were right. We don't need castles here, but we need them in heaven. Our life here it's a temporary landing zone where we must prepare for the greatest adventure of our lives, our accession to heaven or... hell.
Just imagine Peter waiting at the door and asking: "Have you been a good kid today?" What will happen to me if my answer will be: "so and so"! I wonder if there is a place for "so and so" people just like me. God is good teacher. He sends us signs to repent. God is our miracle worker, and we are so lucky to have a direct line to HIM. Sometimes one good deed and erase all your mistakes. And see how we are, we start chasing the big thing, forgetting the small things that can save us. There is no user manual for the Big Deed! Your life it's an open book and the burden of truth is on you. You open the book and whatever you write is your problem. Just remember, God gave you the freedom to choose and make your own destiny.
Some of you are already tired of my rumbling and non-sense theory of life and death. Please forgive me, I am just talking from the perspective of a nun, a fake nun.
***
Now let's visit the competition. They are the best salesman. Whatever you need, is there with no effort. The only condition written in small format it's your precious soul. You know, I always wonder, what is Mr. D. doing with so many souls? You know easy life it's always desirable. We all want to have things, money and to be forever happy because we have things. We just move in circles around the materials things. I wonder about the parking spots downstairs and the living condition... since there are so many habitants. If heaven is one, hell is made of lots of circles, so exactly like a parkade or so they say. How boring to stay in the same circle with the same lost souls. We know so much about Hell, but Heaven it's still something that we describe as perfect: green and flowers. Heaven it's such a mysterious place and we need to work so hard to achieve it. The true nuns are praying for our salvation, maybe because of them will get a second chance to repent. Maybe this Christmas the providence will send me my Big Deed that will allow me to save my soul.
Should I be the Secret Santa for someone in need? Or maybe help with the meals for the poor? Maybe just pray more and harder, that could be a solution. Usually I am the eternal optimist and I let myself fall trusting God that is going to catch me and save me. I know this is so kamikaze. I learnt from the best. My grandparents took me to church since I was little, and they taught me that nothing is impossible if you trust God... all you have to do is to BELIEVE.
Last Sunday, that is what I did. I prayed and wished that the virus will go away. I cried and asked God to save the children and to give us a second chance, and mostly I pray for his patience and guidance. As usual the ME section come back on scene. "My Lord, please be the one who speaks for me, I need your wisdom to stay away from the temptations and bad thoughts. God give me patience and endurance, guide my life all the way."
Thank you,
Sincerely yours
The Fake Nun
Artwork by donnadiann at FanArtReview.com
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