Humor Fiction posted October 19, 2020


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(271 words) Dialogue Only

Arf Arf Arf

by Robert Zimmerman


“How did I get here Pops, and how come I don’t look like you?”
 
“The only people that look identical are twins.”
 
“What’s a twin?”
 
“Its two babies born at the same time with the same mother just minutes apart and they look a lot alike.”
 
“I know we ain’t twins. I’m cute and you’re old.
 
“No, we’re not twins and we’re not brothers. I am human and I went to the humane society to adopt you.”
 
“How did you adopt me?”
 
“I paid them the money they wanted and then brought you home.”
 
“YOU BOUGHT ME !?!?  Is that legal?”
 
“People buy dogs all the time.”
 
“I’M A DOG?”
 
“Yes, you are.”
 
“What kind of dog am I? “
 
“You’re a Jack Russell.”
 
“You think you’re better than me don’t you?”
 
“I’m not better than you. I’m just different from you.”
 
“How are we different?”
 
“I’m a human and you’re a dog.”
 
“So what else ain’t you telling me? This whole thing sounds fishy. How much did you pay for me?”
 
“I will not discuss that with you?”
 
“Why did you have to pay for me?”
 
“I had to pay for your shots and to get you neutered.”
 
“YOU HAD ME NEUTERED?”  WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?”
 
“They would not release you from the shelter until you were neutered.”
 
“Did they neuter you too?”
 
“No, not me.”
 
“That don’t sound right.”
 
“I enjoy having you here a lot, but if you don’t like it, I can take you back.”
 
“Will they un-neuter me if I go back?”
 
“No, they can’t do that.”
 
“Never mind."   He sure got the best end of this deal. At least he knows how to get food ready. All I gotta do is eat it. Tee Hee! 

 


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