My Comments

haiku (pink magnolias) by AlvinTEthington

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So, that's how you write a haiku. Perfect imagery in two statements, linked by a very simple phrase to produce a total harmony, which even read backwards still makes perfect grammatical sense. Lovely.
Reg

Comment Written by rhymelord on 16-Jun-2013

Blossoms Thrive by cheyennewy

Excellent

Dear chey,
Very excellent execution of iambic blank verse and delightful descriptions of the births of flowers with the added "Why" introducing a philosophic note. Nice.
Regards
Reg

Comment Written by rhymelord on 16-Jun-2013

The Sunflower by adewpearl

Excellent

Dear Brooke,
I was about to dash in and tell you that we'd all be fried, but I read your comment. Mind you, this is really stretching poetic license (says the Engineer), by 92 times, but to hell with that (says the appreciative reader), it's great poetry. I have seen a field of several acres of sunflowers growing in Morocco. That's a lot of sunflowers, but I guess there is enough sun to handle more than one. LOL
Reg

Comment Written by rhymelord on 16-Jun-2013

Gentlemen of Fanstory 2 by Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

The metre's good, the rhymes are fine
The message that it sends, Divine.

I'll not deny, I'm flattered by
This quite delightful praise.
To be included in this group
Has left me in a daze.

And now I'll have to watch my step
To justify this awesome rep.
And, did you know, my friend, that Phyllis
Rhymes perfectly with Amaryllis.

Amaryllis (as defined in Urban Dictionary):-
a name for a great person, don't get on her bad side or you'll be sad you did. /she is sweet but headstrong,

Best regards
Reg

Comment Written by rhymelord on 16-Jun-2013

Song for Rose by visionary1234

Excellent

Dear Sharyn,
A very moving and beautiful poem of parting. The unusual switch of metre had me going at first, but, on rereading (out loud), it all fell into place. I love the choice of your farewell song to your mother-in-law. I immediately called it up on my music machine and it really is an inspired and comforting choice for the sad moment. I can well understand how you must have been suffering when singing it. I recall singing (in my shattered baritone) a song called "All through the night" to a dear Welsh friend who was bedridden in her latter days. It was well worth it for the pleasure it brought her, but it was hard. Blessings.

Reg

Comment Written by rhymelord on 12-Jun-2013

Casablanca by adewpearl

Excellent

Dear Brooke,
"Here's lookin' at you kid" and I am sure that Bogart would feel the same way. As time goes by, I am sure Sawyer can depend on his Nana for that boost.
Reg

Comment Written by rhymelord on 10-Jun-2013

My Staircase to the Sky by sandramitchell

Excellent

Dear Sandra,
This is really lovely poignant writing. The pain and loneliness you felt comes through very clearly and your style, rhyme and metre is quite impeccable.
Regards
Reg

Comment Written by rhymelord on 10-Jun-2013

Eyes Cast Upon the Sun-glazed Sea by rama devi

Exceptional

This work has reached the exceptional level

Dear rd,
The thing that, to me, sets this piece apart is the brilliant use of enjambment. The rhyme and metre are of course as excellent as always. The mystic tone and the many glorious phrases make this a very memorable and important work. My favourite:

"with tunes that verge
upon the rim of radiance."

Truly beautiful.

Best regards
Reg

Comment Written by rhymelord on 05-Jun-2013

Visions by Ideasaregems-Dawn
Chapter 3 of the book A Poet's Pen, Vol. 3

Excellent

Dear Dawn,
Great write, as ever, but I did have a slight problem with,

"No tame or fickle female is this
wild, supreme madam -"
Maybe,

"No tame or fickle female is
this wild, supreme madame -"

I think this scans better and the addition of the "e" to "madam" (as per the French) deliberately places the stress where it should be.

I hope this is of use.

Best regards
Reg

Comment Written by rhymelord on 05-Jun-2013

The Olive Branch by sandramitchell
Chapter 1 of the book Spiritual Moments

Excellent

Dear Sandra,
Wonderful flowing cadence and rhymes. The split of your lines in some verses to accentuate internal rhyming is inspired you develop your theme well to a potent conclusion.
Regards
Reg

Comment Written by rhymelord on 05-Jun-2013