Delicate Beauty
5/7/4 Senryu15 total reviews
Comment from Mark Schardine
delicate beauty
struts by drooling married man --
wife finds her flaw
We see the " the misfortunes, the hardships and woe of humanity" that can lead us to burst out laughing at foolish behavior, or cause us to wonder how often such nonsense happens, and how much damage it does.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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delicate beauty
struts by drooling married man --
wife finds her flaw
We see the " the misfortunes, the hardships and woe of humanity" that can lead us to burst out laughing at foolish behavior, or cause us to wonder how often such nonsense happens, and how much damage it does.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much for your great review, Mark. I always appreciate them.
hugs,
gypsy
Comment from juliaSjames
Hello Gypsy
I'm truly learning by example through reading your work. I will be attempting a senryu soon myself.
I enjoyed your take on human nature in this write. The eternal triangle is an excellent subject for gentle satire. Love the remarkable way you define characters in such a short poem.
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2020
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Hello Gypsy
I'm truly learning by example through reading your work. I will be attempting a senryu soon myself.
I enjoyed your take on human nature in this write. The eternal triangle is an excellent subject for gentle satire. Love the remarkable way you define characters in such a short poem.
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2020
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I look forward to reading your Senryu.
Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from Vanna1
Really nice poem. Good presentation. I like the notes. Yes, men love fresh meat. My husband is dreading our daughter growing up. The wife's flaw is her husband's eyes or that the girl is better looking!? Probably both.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Really nice poem. Good presentation. I like the notes. Yes, men love fresh meat. My husband is dreading our daughter growing up. The wife's flaw is her husband's eyes or that the girl is better looking!? Probably both.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem. :)
The beauty of haiku and senryu is that it can mean different things to different people.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Gypsy!
There is much to admire about your senryu: message, reality, formatting.
But what I truly appreciate is that the reader could apply the last line of "wife finds her flaw" to either the "delicate beauty" or herself!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Hello Gypsy!
There is much to admire about your senryu: message, reality, formatting.
But what I truly appreciate is that the reader could apply the last line of "wife finds her flaw" to either the "delicate beauty" or herself!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Yes, that is interesting. With haiku the meaning is very personal. For me, I was thinking the wife found a flaw with the young perfect beauty but it can go your way too.
Thank you very much for your excellent review and insightful feedback, I really appreciate it.
have a wonderful weekend!
gypsy
Comment from Janice Canerdy
WOW! This one has earned my last 6 for the week. You have told a realistic amusing little story in just a few syllables. Yes, those wives have to be on the ready to point out those flaws! LOL!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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WOW! This one has earned my last 6 for the week. You have told a realistic amusing little story in just a few syllables. Yes, those wives have to be on the ready to point out those flaws! LOL!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Wow, thank you for the exceptional six stars, Janice!
Thank you very much for your excellent review and insightful feedback, I really appreciate it.
have a wonderful weekend!
gypsy
Comment from karenina
How green are the eyes of envy! How such a simple glance erupt into emotions of lust and jealousy and a convolution of unspoken judgement!
Again you say so much in the pristine succinct way the form dictates--and with (once again) the perfect illustration!--Karenina
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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How green are the eyes of envy! How such a simple glance erupt into emotions of lust and jealousy and a convolution of unspoken judgement!
Again you say so much in the pristine succinct way the form dictates--and with (once again) the perfect illustration!--Karenina
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate you took the time to read and review my work. Have a great weekend.
Hugs,
Gypsy
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It was nice to read you again! I'll get back on track this week I think. Husband is home...life is easier.--Karenina
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Senryu about the delicate beauty who becomes the mistress of the drooling married man who cannot find what he needs from his wife who still searching for her flaws.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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A very well-written Senryu about the delicate beauty who becomes the mistress of the drooling married man who cannot find what he needs from his wife who still searching for her flaws.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Sandra, thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate you took the time to read and review my work. Have a great weekend.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from dragonpoet
Strong images of all three characters. Often some women make heads turn. The jealous wife would find the flaw in the other woman and in her husband.
Congrats on becoming this month's recognized writer, Gypsy.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Strong images of all three characters. Often some women make heads turn. The jealous wife would find the flaw in the other woman and in her husband.
Congrats on becoming this month's recognized writer, Gypsy.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Joan, thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate you took the time to read and review my work. Have a great weekend.
Hugs,
Gypsy
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You are most kindly welcome. Same to you.
Joan
Comment from Chelle_GH
Delicate Beauty Poem expressed a different ending that led me to wonder - what's the flaw? Unfaithfulness despite of?
A unique thoughts indeed...
Excellent piece indeed!
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Delicate Beauty Poem expressed a different ending that led me to wonder - what's the flaw? Unfaithfulness despite of?
A unique thoughts indeed...
Excellent piece indeed!
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Chelle, thank you very much, my friend. I appreciate you took the time to read and review my work. Have a great weekend.
Hugs,
Gypsy
Comment from lyenochka
Interesting. I wonder if the wife found her own flaw in not being "delicate" enough? Or did she find some flaw in the "delicate beauty" that so attracted her husband? I would think she would have found a flaw in her husband.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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Interesting. I wonder if the wife found her own flaw in not being "delicate" enough? Or did she find some flaw in the "delicate beauty" that so attracted her husband? I would think she would have found a flaw in her husband.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2020
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The husband is drilling watching the beautiful girl and the wife found a fault in the beautiful girl out of spite or to prove she was better than the girl.
Thank you very much for your review and helpful feedback.
Have a great weekend.
Gypsy
