Another Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Demon spawn?"American Isekai
15 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
At first I thought Paul might be thinking he was talking but it was only coming out as goo goo's. But it is more magical by having her understand every word he spoke. Next Chap
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At first I thought Paul might be thinking he was talking but it was only coming out as goo goo's. But it is more magical by having her understand every word he spoke. Next Chap
Comment Written 09-Apr-2021
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
There is a good change of pace style and interests in this chapter with the change in POV to centering it on Rosetta. This makes the characters distinguish themselves and come alive. Humour is provided by baby Paul's physical skills. He will certainly have to hide himself behind a cloak of incompetence outside of private life.
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There is a good change of pace style and interests in this chapter with the change in POV to centering it on Rosetta. This makes the characters distinguish themselves and come alive. Humour is provided by baby Paul's physical skills. He will certainly have to hide himself behind a cloak of incompetence outside of private life.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2021
Comment from Ayan3
That was an amazing story and I hope you can write more stories and I also could not stop reading it and I hope you get the recognition you need for this story.
Sincerely, Ayan
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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That was an amazing story and I hope you can write more stories and I also could not stop reading it and I hope you get the recognition you need for this story.
Sincerely, Ayan
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thank you very much. I hope you get a chance to read the rest of the book.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Captivating--I'm relieved that Rosetta vows to protect the demon spawn--the tension leading up to Paul's revelation is gripping--I was obsessed with reincarnation in my youth. Well done. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Captivating--I'm relieved that Rosetta vows to protect the demon spawn--the tension leading up to Paul's revelation is gripping--I was obsessed with reincarnation in my youth. Well done. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2020
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Thank you, Liz.
Comment from Ben B.
Three gods? That must be an interesting religion.
I'm glad Paul finally came to turns with his situation and his new family. For a moment I thought he was he was going to break the mother's heart.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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Three gods? That must be an interesting religion.
I'm glad Paul finally came to turns with his situation and his new family. For a moment I thought he was he was going to break the mother's heart.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2020
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Thank you. Oh, He still has a ways to go. He is only a baby at this point.
Comment from Daniel Ayles
This is a clever and interesting piece. I enjoyed reading and would definitely read more. While I would like to see more initial reticence from the mother, it works as is. You have solid structure and development of the scene.
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This is a clever and interesting piece. I enjoyed reading and would definitely read more. While I would like to see more initial reticence from the mother, it works as is. You have solid structure and development of the scene.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2020
Comment from judiverse
A mother's love comes through and Rosetta will protect Paul, no matter what. This sounds like a strange society. A woman like Rosetta may not have an education, but she seems to have understanding than may help her figure out how to keep Paul's secret. I'm wondering how her husband will react when she tells him about the strange child. Maybe Paul will be there to change the society. It seems so backward. Quite a fascinating story. judi
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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A mother's love comes through and Rosetta will protect Paul, no matter what. This sounds like a strange society. A woman like Rosetta may not have an education, but she seems to have understanding than may help her figure out how to keep Paul's secret. I'm wondering how her husband will react when she tells him about the strange child. Maybe Paul will be there to change the society. It seems so backward. Quite a fascinating story. judi
Comment Written 22-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thank you, Judi. Well, the book is already finished, so I can't give it away. But you are very close.
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You're very welcome. I'll do no more speculating, then. Good luck with it. judi
Comment from RShipp
Then in his best Valerian, he spoke, "I know you're probably in shock right now, but if you think it would help, we can both pretend this is all just a dream?"
To her credit, Rosetta did not run from the room screaming...
This is a scene I hope to never be near in real life!!!
I'm looking forward to seeing what you are planning next.
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Then in his best Valerian, he spoke, "I know you're probably in shock right now, but if you think it would help, we can both pretend this is all just a dream?"
To her credit, Rosetta did not run from the room screaming...
This is a scene I hope to never be near in real life!!!
I'm looking forward to seeing what you are planning next.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2020
Comment from Ric Myworld
I have no idea where this story is going from here, but the demon getting a little milk for free gives hope of a little taste for me. LOL. Fun way to start the story. Thanks for sharing.
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I have no idea where this story is going from here, but the demon getting a little milk for free gives hope of a little taste for me. LOL. Fun way to start the story. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2020
Comment from Mastery
Hi Lance. I have to give you credit first of all for the brilliant originality of this write. Your imagination was obviously in full gear when you wrote this chapter.
The story is a bit difficult to follow if you haven't read previous chapters, I guess.
Tips and suggestions:
Left out a letter or word here: "and then scooted is diapered bottom" (his)
For more effect, change this, Lance: "Then Rosetta did cry." Change to: "Rosetta cried."
Also, to keep the readers "hooked" I would suggest changing this last line from: "Explain Paul to her husband, without him killing her baby or disowning them both." To: "Explain Paul to her husband." (period)
Good refreshing read, Lance. :) Bob
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Hi Lance. I have to give you credit first of all for the brilliant originality of this write. Your imagination was obviously in full gear when you wrote this chapter.
The story is a bit difficult to follow if you haven't read previous chapters, I guess.
Tips and suggestions:
Left out a letter or word here: "and then scooted is diapered bottom" (his)
For more effect, change this, Lance: "Then Rosetta did cry." Change to: "Rosetta cried."
Also, to keep the readers "hooked" I would suggest changing this last line from: "Explain Paul to her husband, without him killing her baby or disowning them both." To: "Explain Paul to her husband." (period)
Good refreshing read, Lance. :) Bob
Comment Written 22-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2020
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Thank you. Yes, confusing the readers who haven't read the preceding post is a problem. Actually, these this is the ending of chapter one of the book.
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Okay. Bob, Perhaps have a recap before each new chapter? Bob
