(haiku) a slow unfolding
The journey to freedom...23 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Decker
Lisa,
This is one of the most beautiful Haiku poems I have ever read.
Your rendition of the transformation of a caterpillar into a beautiful, graceful butterfly Is pretty and I like the play on words "wings."
Have a wonderful week, and good luck in the contest.
Cindy
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Lisa,
This is one of the most beautiful Haiku poems I have ever read.
Your rendition of the transformation of a caterpillar into a beautiful, graceful butterfly Is pretty and I like the play on words "wings."
Have a wonderful week, and good luck in the contest.
Cindy
Comment Written 16-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2020
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Thank you for such a high rating, Cindy. I'm pleased you like this one because i think it is one of my best also and as you know it is always reassuring to have other writers' feedback.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Lisa
Nice Haiku entry in the contest! I wish you Good Luck.
"slow unfolding" and "chrysalis transformation" capture a moment in time, which is so important in a haiku poem. And "nice alliteration with the summation, "waiting in the wings". I consider "unfolding" as the cutting word. It holds the magic. Everyone wants to see the wings open for the very first time.
Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Hi Lisa
Nice Haiku entry in the contest! I wish you Good Luck.
"slow unfolding" and "chrysalis transformation" capture a moment in time, which is so important in a haiku poem. And "nice alliteration with the summation, "waiting in the wings". I consider "unfolding" as the cutting word. It holds the magic. Everyone wants to see the wings open for the very first time.
Nicely penned!
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 12-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thanks very much for your understanding review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, A Slow Unfolding, presented as a 5-7-5,shows the reader the miracle of metamorphosis as the butterfly leaves its lifelong protection.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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This haiku, A Slow Unfolding, presented as a 5-7-5,shows the reader the miracle of metamorphosis as the butterfly leaves its lifelong protection.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thank you!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku about the slow process unfolding when the caterpillar transform into a beautiful butterfly with colorful wingsc that can fly and be free from the stems where he was stuck for a while.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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A very well-written haiku about the slow process unfolding when the caterpillar transform into a beautiful butterfly with colorful wingsc that can fly and be free from the stems where he was stuck for a while.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thank you!
Comment from LyndaS
This is exquisite, girlfriend! I am not a haiku person at all but this just sings the minute you open it up. Brilliant! I predict a win on this. Well done! Lynda
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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This is exquisite, girlfriend! I am not a haiku person at all but this just sings the minute you open it up. Brilliant! I predict a win on this. Well done! Lynda
Comment Written 12-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Hiya Lynda! Thanks for this super review... I'm pleased you overcame your disinterest in haiku and found the beauty in this one. xx
Comment from Lucy de Welles
All elements here. Wonderful properly written haiku.
This is just beautiful. In photo, in coloring, in concept. Transformation and emergence of new form is universally appealing on many levels. "waiting in the wings" is a lovely double entendre (although not indecent :). Inspirational and uplifting.
Well done!
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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All elements here. Wonderful properly written haiku.
This is just beautiful. In photo, in coloring, in concept. Transformation and emergence of new form is universally appealing on many levels. "waiting in the wings" is a lovely double entendre (although not indecent :). Inspirational and uplifting.
Well done!
Comment Written 12-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from JudyE
It's a small miracle to watch this happening. And the migrations some butterflies take on are just incredible. Loved the 'waiting in the wings' line. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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It's a small miracle to watch this happening. And the migrations some butterflies take on are just incredible. Loved the 'waiting in the wings' line. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thanks for appreciating my haiku. It certainly is a miraculous aspect of life to see this happening.
Comment from lyenochka
I like your wordplay of "waiting in the wings" and perhaps in this case, it's waiting "for the wings." The transformation in the chrysalis is such a miracle! A picture of our spiritual transformation. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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I like your wordplay of "waiting in the wings" and perhaps in this case, it's waiting "for the wings." The transformation in the chrysalis is such a miracle! A picture of our spiritual transformation. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thanks for your nice review. The miracle of life is all around us, beautifully emphasized by the caterpillar to butterfly transformation.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Kudos, Lisa!
For form and message!
A brilliant haiku!
And one that resonates with me: my daughter gave birth on Thursday morning to our first grandchild - 5 weeks early! Definitely " a slow unfolding" as he is currently in NICU, but he will be a beautiful "butterfly" in not time!
Thank you!
diane
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Kudos, Lisa!
For form and message!
A brilliant haiku!
And one that resonates with me: my daughter gave birth on Thursday morning to our first grandchild - 5 weeks early! Definitely " a slow unfolding" as he is currently in NICU, but he will be a beautiful "butterfly" in not time!
Thank you!
diane
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Congratulations, Grandma!! How precious. I hope he is out of NICU soon and you can dote on him properly.
Thank you so much for appreciating my timely haiku.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Lovely, elegant, with a delightful twist--The brilliantly witty Waiting in the wings earns your stars in itself! You make learning butterfly biology fun. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Lovely, elegant, with a delightful twist--The brilliantly witty Waiting in the wings earns your stars in itself! You make learning butterfly biology fun. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 11-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thank you. This miracle of life is always fascinating to see. We have a Butterfly House at our museum.
