Frigate Birds
A poem in Terza Rima69 total reviews
Comment from lightink
Hi Tony,
I missed this one. I adore this well executed Dante style poem!
The vivid imagery transports the reader straight to the scene where frigates feed aided by dolphins.
Such a dynamic poem, with lots of movement words.
I was thinking that the way you described the flight shows the knowledge of someone well immersed in aerodynamics and navigation:'wheel and gyre,
aloft upon a broad-winged bow
they sideslip on the doldrum air".
I very much enjoyed as the story unfolded - with dolphins giving a chase...and them taking the opportunity...
So many colorful, atmoshere enhancing phrases:
"well-fletched arrows'
"begin their meteoric dive"
And the description of the savage, predatorial attributes:
"with sanguine throat and billhook beak"
Also, the prey is described with the same dynamic intensity:
"like silver bullets'
And the inevitable fate...of 'feeding' those birds.
Very well worded nature poem.
I kept smelling the salty air while reading it... the poem really awakens imagination and senses (of the mind).
Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
Hi Tony,
I missed this one. I adore this well executed Dante style poem!
The vivid imagery transports the reader straight to the scene where frigates feed aided by dolphins.
Such a dynamic poem, with lots of movement words.
I was thinking that the way you described the flight shows the knowledge of someone well immersed in aerodynamics and navigation:'wheel and gyre,
aloft upon a broad-winged bow
they sideslip on the doldrum air".
I very much enjoyed as the story unfolded - with dolphins giving a chase...and them taking the opportunity...
So many colorful, atmoshere enhancing phrases:
"well-fletched arrows'
"begin their meteoric dive"
And the description of the savage, predatorial attributes:
"with sanguine throat and billhook beak"
Also, the prey is described with the same dynamic intensity:
"like silver bullets'
And the inevitable fate...of 'feeding' those birds.
Very well worded nature poem.
I kept smelling the salty air while reading it... the poem really awakens imagination and senses (of the mind).
Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2020
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Thank you so much for this detailed and perceptive review, Jyoti. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it so much and were able to pick up the nuances! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Margaret Bednar
This is really well done and smooth considering all the "hoops" you had to go through! You paid attention to alliteration and rhyme. I was thinking about how beautiful the birds look - but I imagine not so to the fish!
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2020
This is really well done and smooth considering all the "hoops" you had to go through! You paid attention to alliteration and rhyme. I was thinking about how beautiful the birds look - but I imagine not so to the fish!
Comment Written 13-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2020
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Many thanks for your review, Margaret. No, I don't suppose the fish would find these marauders in the least bit beautiful! All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Urial
Hi Tfawcus,
Great poem with natural theme and style using the terza rhyme scheme. Very educational for those of us not familiar with this. Well done and explained.
Peace be with you,
Urial
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
Hi Tfawcus,
Great poem with natural theme and style using the terza rhyme scheme. Very educational for those of us not familiar with this. Well done and explained.
Peace be with you,
Urial
Comment Written 10-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Very many thanks for your kind words, Urial. So glad you enjoyed my poem enough to award it a sixth star. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from Cindy Warren
I don't think I've ever seen a frigate bird. They're beautiful. When we were in Cuba we saw pelicans hunting fish. These look much more graceful. Do they dive or wait for the fish to jump?
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
I don't think I've ever seen a frigate bird. They're beautiful. When we were in Cuba we saw pelicans hunting fish. These look much more graceful. Do they dive or wait for the fish to jump?
Comment Written 09-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Very many thanks for your review, Cindy. Much appreciated. Apparently they never enter the water. They aren't able to oil their feathers, so they'd get waterlogged and drown. If they get wet, they probably say "Frig it."
Tony
Comment from catch22
Hi Tony, this is a great poem with fresh and inventive rhyming, as well as flawless construction. The phrasing is wonderful too. You are very skilled at these complex forms of poetry--and the poem creates a vivid image of survival of the fittest.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
Hi Tony, this is a great poem with fresh and inventive rhyming, as well as flawless construction. The phrasing is wonderful too. You are very skilled at these complex forms of poetry--and the poem creates a vivid image of survival of the fittest.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thanks for your review, Pam. Always good to hear from you. Your kind words are a great confidence booster. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from phill doran
Hello Tony
Super. I have not much to add but my admiration - and I am sure you are up to your armpits with reviews anyway.
Much pivots on the word-choice (fletched being both appropriate and lovely to pronounce - billhook beak, ditto: accurate, and sonorous when spoken).
Yes: a great observation, and a well turned work.
cheers - I wish you safe and well...
phill
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
Hello Tony
Super. I have not much to add but my admiration - and I am sure you are up to your armpits with reviews anyway.
Much pivots on the word-choice (fletched being both appropriate and lovely to pronounce - billhook beak, ditto: accurate, and sonorous when spoken).
Yes: a great observation, and a well turned work.
cheers - I wish you safe and well...
phill
Comment Written 09-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Hi, Phill. Appreciate your fine words and gold-plated stars. All good wishes to you, too. Have a great day. Tony
Comment from Roberta Lawrinsky
Vocabulary, vocabulary, vocabulary. Impressive, impressive, impressive. As an avid reader of Strunk & White's "Elements of Style" I often bear in mind their dictum: Do not use a big word where a smaller word will do.
I, do not believe, however, that such a one-size-fits-all dictum
is the last word in critiquing. It turns out that 'gyre' & 'fletched'
are words for which no other word will do.
The picture is a big help in visualizing the frigates. The analogy of arrows & bow is fitting as well.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
Vocabulary, vocabulary, vocabulary. Impressive, impressive, impressive. As an avid reader of Strunk & White's "Elements of Style" I often bear in mind their dictum: Do not use a big word where a smaller word will do.
I, do not believe, however, that such a one-size-fits-all dictum
is the last word in critiquing. It turns out that 'gyre' & 'fletched'
are words for which no other word will do.
The picture is a big help in visualizing the frigates. The analogy of arrows & bow is fitting as well.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Many thanks for your review, Roberta. I very much appreciate your time and useful comments. It's always as well to bear in mind the wise words of Strunk & White!
Comment from Colin John
Hi, lovely poem, and wow would love to go to the Galapagos Islands to see them fly for myself, It must have been eye-opening in those early days
of exploration by the British and others. Cheers Colin
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
Hi, lovely poem, and wow would love to go to the Galapagos Islands to see them fly for myself, It must have been eye-opening in those early days
of exploration by the British and others. Cheers Colin
Comment Written 09-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2020
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Thanks, Colin. I appreciate your support. I, too, would like to visit the Galapagos Islands one day, but fear it's a journey that may never rise to the top of my bucket list. All the best, Tony
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi, Tony. We don't see Terza Rima often enough (in my humble opinion)
This is full of beautiful images and great word choices. I like gyre, doldrum (as adjective) phosphorescent, fletched (to match bow in stanza 1) and more - gives a touch of class.
Gorgeous imagery too. Great piece.
Steve
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2020
Hi, Tony. We don't see Terza Rima often enough (in my humble opinion)
This is full of beautiful images and great word choices. I like gyre, doldrum (as adjective) phosphorescent, fletched (to match bow in stanza 1) and more - gives a touch of class.
Gorgeous imagery too. Great piece.
Steve
Comment Written 08-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2020
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Thanks, Steve. I appreciate your very kind comments and the six stars. It's a good form, better than most. All the best, Tony
Comment from Susan X Smith
I love the rhythm and rhymes in this poem. There are many engaging phrases within it and the poem has a certain charm to it. I especially like the line "like silver bullets as they strive."
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2020
I love the rhythm and rhymes in this poem. There are many engaging phrases within it and the poem has a certain charm to it. I especially like the line "like silver bullets as they strive."
Comment Written 08-Aug-2020
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2020
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Thanks, Susan. I appreciate your comments pointing out the imagery you liked most. All the best, Tony