Comment from Sasha

Exceptional

Sorry, but my eyes are so bad it is almost impossible to review so please accept my apology for passing on this one. Maybe one day if they find a cure, I'll be back in the running. The title alone told me it must be a 6 so I gave you one.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020

Oh, Sasha, I'm so sorry about your eyes - and presumably you won't be able to read this either!

Thanks for the presumptive sixer/

Steve

Comment from humpwhistle

Exceptional

If I know my 'dearly departed', they're crying, 'Take your time. Take your time.' And, there may be a touch of malice involved.
If there's an after-afterlife, I expect they're plotting their escape from one to the other to coincide with my arrival. How thoughtful of them.

Maybe not malicious, Steve, but decidedly spooky.
Best of luck.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020

Thanks, Lee. 'It's too hot here, stay where you are,' didn't fit into the requisite number of syllables. I'm not big on believing in an afterlife, so maybe this is a metaphor for something or other. I wouldn't know, I'm just the conduit!

I appreciate the sixth star.

Steve

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Cinquain
Cry
by kiwisteveh

Hello, my friend,

Beautiful cinquain poem about the dead. I like the presentation. Good poetic form. Thank you for sharing.

gypsy

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020

Thanks, Gypsy - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

There is much more threat in life than the dead and buried and your words are rather eerie Steve, I wish you luck with the contest, best wishes, Dolly x

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020

Thanks, Dolly. I agree with that!

Steve

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

It seems innocuous but I am wondering why these dead are calling me to come. In time and God's plan, I will join them. But I guess your macabre humor is fitting for these times.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020

Thanks, Helen. No humour intended and for once I didn't really have current events in mind either. Let's just say the speaker may be feeling his time is coming soon.

Steve

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

Oooooo.... now that is a very eeeerie thought or should I say whispered invitation!! ;) :) Awesome offering for the Cinquain contest, Steve -- best of luck, sir! ;) Yvette

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020

Thanks, Yvette. Glad I tickled your tastebuds...

Steve

Comment from Sharon Haiste

Excellent

I think this is a good entry for the Cinquain Poetry contest.
This short verse tells of the dead in their dark rest.
Well done and I wish you good luck with the contest.
Sharon

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020

Thanks, Sharon!

Steve

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

They ever welcome everyone and tell or share their experiences of living and teach us real stand and meaning of immortal living to the mortals; well said, well done; thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020

Thank you for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Thank you for sharing your contest with us. It flowed well and gave an interesting message. The artwork you chose is an excellent addition to the poem. I wish you the best of luck.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020

Thanks, Barbara!

Steve

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Eerie! This reminds me of Dean...!

excellent closing twist. Excellent voicing, with the combination of assonance of E, hard and soft C sounds and consonance of S and L plus alliteration of D. Sounds super read aloud.

Good presentation, matching the tone and tenor well.

I'm no a fan of Cinquain, but you've done this one masterfully! Bravo and good luck.

Warmly, rd

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2020

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2020

Rama, thanks as always for the excellent review.

Steve

reply by rama devi on 17-Mar-2020

:-))