A Choosy Little Donkey
A Rhyming poem for children17 total reviews
Comment from moongirlwriter
If this were not a rhyming poem, I would say it's perfect. . .and it is near perfect. There are just a couple of verses that don't quite rhyme but I'll bet if you thought on it more, you would find a solution. Verse 3 and verse 8.
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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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If this were not a rhyming poem, I would say it's perfect. . .and it is near perfect. There are just a couple of verses that don't quite rhyme but I'll bet if you thought on it more, you would find a solution. Verse 3 and verse 8.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Moongirl, thank you! Actually I looked more for the funny part than the rhyming one. Sometimes a near-rhyme is better than a forced one. (I think). But I know you are right.
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I enjoyed it non-the-less. :)
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thanks!
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Very cute and funny poem for children! I can imagine them laughing at the silly donkey. My favorite stanza:
"A little bit of mud or straw
"eeh-aah', he balks and lifts a paw."
I can see a child bursting into laughter at the thought of the "eeh-aah" from the donkey.
On the other hand, the older ones might consider it funny that you actually tried to reason with the donkey.
Some of the smarter ones might protest that the bread-plus-spread he refused wasn't actually on the dirty floor, so why would he refuse it? I was kind of wondering myself...
Also wondering what kind of barn or stall this high-fallutin' donkey lives in. Not one with a dirt floor, that's for sure -- he would starve to death!
I can see this illustrated, as a short picture book, or part of a longer one with other children's stories or poems.
It might actually help reinforce to them that THEY shouldn't eat something from off the floor! They're not donkeys, and it will reinforce good hygiene.
Excellent idea, great poem.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Very cute and funny poem for children! I can imagine them laughing at the silly donkey. My favorite stanza:
"A little bit of mud or straw
"eeh-aah', he balks and lifts a paw."
I can see a child bursting into laughter at the thought of the "eeh-aah" from the donkey.
On the other hand, the older ones might consider it funny that you actually tried to reason with the donkey.
Some of the smarter ones might protest that the bread-plus-spread he refused wasn't actually on the dirty floor, so why would he refuse it? I was kind of wondering myself...
Also wondering what kind of barn or stall this high-fallutin' donkey lives in. Not one with a dirt floor, that's for sure -- he would starve to death!
I can see this illustrated, as a short picture book, or part of a longer one with other children's stories or poems.
It might actually help reinforce to them that THEY shouldn't eat something from off the floor! They're not donkeys, and it will reinforce good hygiene.
Excellent idea, great poem.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Mary Kay, what a nice review and such a good idea! I'll think about it!
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You're very welcome, Marjon :-)
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:))
Comment from Raul1
All the lines are aligned and rhyme. This poem is well written. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. I like this poem. Thanks for sharing! Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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All the lines are aligned and rhyme. This poem is well written. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. I like this poem. Thanks for sharing! Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Raoul! A nice review.
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You're welcome, my friend! :)
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Marjon van Bruggen
with smiles to your rhyming poem, I found fun to read.
So donkey will need a clean floor to eat. Best to you in this rhyming contest.
Gert
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Hello Marjon van Bruggen
with smiles to your rhyming poem, I found fun to read.
So donkey will need a clean floor to eat. Best to you in this rhyming contest.
Gert
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thank you very much, Gert! Nice review.
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You are welcome
Marjon van Bruggen.
Gert
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smile
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Smiles Back ((((:::::Gert
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:)
Comment from w.j.debi
This is an adorable poem. I like the silly donkey and the control he has over his human friends. It certainly appears he is in charge.
There used to be a lot more poems for children posted on the site. I miss them and am glad to see this one.
Good luck in the contest with this little gem.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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This is an adorable poem. I like the silly donkey and the control he has over his human friends. It certainly appears he is in charge.
There used to be a lot more poems for children posted on the site. I miss them and am glad to see this one.
Good luck in the contest with this little gem.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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W.J.debi, thank you for your nice review!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your children's' poem. Your lines flow well with a good story and imagery. Your picture is a good pairing. I believe children will enjoy your fun poem. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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I enjoyed your children's' poem. Your lines flow well with a good story and imagery. Your picture is a good pairing. I believe children will enjoy your fun poem. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 27-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2020
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Thank you for your nice review, Jan.
Comment from Gail Denham
Ha - what a choosy donkey - but where did he refuse the food - in the barn? That means the mother had to clean the barn too - oh boy. A cute poem for sure. Good job.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
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Ha - what a choosy donkey - but where did he refuse the food - in the barn? That means the mother had to clean the barn too - oh boy. A cute poem for sure. Good job.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
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Thanks, Gail. Glad you liked it.
Comment from June Sargent
Good for you! There are enough poems on angst. This is an adorable one for children. I wrote one on giraffes - for adults. Nice to see a little humor. Well done.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
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Good for you! There are enough poems on angst. This is an adorable one for children. I wrote one on giraffes - for adults. Nice to see a little humor. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
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June, thank you so much!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a fun write and cleverly thought out and put together to create a little bit of humour and fun in this sweet story of the awkward donkey who wins the day, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
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This is a fun write and cleverly thought out and put together to create a little bit of humour and fun in this sweet story of the awkward donkey who wins the day, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
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Dolly, you made my day a happy one with my new 6 stars! Thank you very much.
Comment from BethShelby
This is a cute poem about a finicky donkey that insists there everything be extremely clean. It sound like the donkey has become the boss and the people have to labor to please him. You have good rhyme here. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
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This is a cute poem about a finicky donkey that insists there everything be extremely clean. It sound like the donkey has become the boss and the people have to labor to please him. You have good rhyme here. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
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Beth, thanks a lot for the review.
