Depleting Numbers
Sad Dying7 total reviews
Comment from JudyE
I think this is true of the Catholic church in many countries. Certainly it is so in Australia although some Asian countries do seem to have increasing attendances.
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
  |
I think this is true of the Catholic church in many countries. Certainly it is so in Australia although some Asian countries do seem to have increasing attendances.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2019
-
Sadly, I think you're right about Australian churches. Thanks a lot for your review.
Geoff
Comment from Rikki66
All churches are in need of a miracle to get the people back in the pews.
Rikki**********************************************************************************************************************************
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
All churches are in need of a miracle to get the people back in the pews.
Rikki**********************************************************************************************************************************
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
True that!
Comment from humpwhistle
Yes, it's a sad time at many churches these days--not only the Catholic Church. I suppose the reasons are many and complicated.
Let's hope we're just going through a temporary downturn.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
Yes, it's a sad time at many churches these days--not only the Catholic Church. I suppose the reasons are many and complicated.
Let's hope we're just going through a temporary downturn.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thanks for your review.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 100 Word Story.
Your story of the depleting numbers attending mass is clear and well told.
Well done and good luck to you with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
I think this is a good entry for the 100 Word Story.
Your story of the depleting numbers attending mass is clear and well told.
Well done and good luck to you with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thanks a lot for your review.
Comment from Darlene Franklin
A complete story, with the way things were, the way they are now, and the conclusion about Father Murphy's prayer for the future. Great picture to go with it. Well done, and good luck.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
A complete story, with the way things were, the way they are now, and the conclusion about Father Murphy's prayer for the future. Great picture to go with it. Well done, and good luck.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thanks for your review
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Alex Rosel
This is a nice flash fiction piece that doesn't rely on a culminating twist. Rather, it'll likely leave the reader contemplating {thumbs up}.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
I've never heard of the word "genuflect" before. Thank you for introducing it to me {thumbs up}.
Normal Sunday mass was bad enough, but it was at the church's days of celebration that the depleting numbers really hit home. -- If this was mine, I think I'd revise the "at" to "on".
aster and Christmas, seasons when the church used to be standing room only, today only saw spatters of the congregation amongst the pews. -- Since the narrative specifies two separate days, Easter and Christmas, I think I'd replace the "today" by "nowadays". "Today" implies a single day.
Here's wishing you the best when the voting booth opens {smiles}.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
This is a nice flash fiction piece that doesn't rely on a culminating twist. Rather, it'll likely leave the reader contemplating {thumbs up}.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
I've never heard of the word "genuflect" before. Thank you for introducing it to me {thumbs up}.
Normal Sunday mass was bad enough, but it was at the church's days of celebration that the depleting numbers really hit home. -- If this was mine, I think I'd revise the "at" to "on".
aster and Christmas, seasons when the church used to be standing room only, today only saw spatters of the congregation amongst the pews. -- Since the narrative specifies two separate days, Easter and Christmas, I think I'd replace the "today" by "nowadays". "Today" implies a single day.
Here's wishing you the best when the voting booth opens {smiles}.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thanks for your review. You made some very good points that I have now rectified.
Genuflect is the bending down on one knee as you enter and exit your church pew. A tradition in Catholic churches at least, I'm not sure about any other.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Well, it does seem to be the way things are going these days. A nice taut little write. Should do well.
"The Mass has ended, go in peace," - I think this opening line would be better served ending with a full stop / period rather than a comma as it isn't followed by a tag and appears to be a paragraph on its own.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
|
Hi there,
Well, it does seem to be the way things are going these days. A nice taut little write. Should do well.
"The Mass has ended, go in peace," - I think this opening line would be better served ending with a full stop / period rather than a comma as it isn't followed by a tag and appears to be a paragraph on its own.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 23-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2019
-
Thanks for your review. Much appreciated.
