Pawns
75 Words21 total reviews
Comment from djeckert
This is very clever , and well thought out and presented. I love the typeset font you use as well. it's very timely , and I think I get it. So I'll refrain from:
"This is well penned with no overt evidence of SPAG making for a smooth and easy read. The content is well thought out and cohesive in its structure. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it."
Shooting blanks with your silencer?
Shoot!
Those who may be wielding a pre-loaded, unpointed, semi-automatic (or fully automatic) review gun to "amplify" THEIR own writing voice, might be unfairly silencing another's.
Just a thought....
.....BANG! (lol)
Actually , Monica, I hope you are not shooting these blanks at me because you think that I don't like, or can't handle any criticism or suggestive pointers. I do appreciate it... but I don't always have to agree with it. The great thing is God made us all different, with different tastes. I admit mine are a bit weird. And I wish that I had more time and inclination to review more on this site, but I don't. Truth be told, I have really only found four or five writers on this site that truly inspire me... but again, I'm weird. ( And most of them are hit and miss...or dead) . So as my little "five shooter" piece points out, my voice is pretty small, and
I would just like a fair shake. I suppose I could just jump on the writes of the ones I am fans of, to pump myself up a bit, ( like some seem to do) but that whole thing, to me, seems to be a giant
"circle jerk" ( excuse my French) and one of the many flaws of the FS system.
But, write on my friend. This piece truly did inspire me. But it almost seems like something I would write. lol.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2019
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This is very clever , and well thought out and presented. I love the typeset font you use as well. it's very timely , and I think I get it. So I'll refrain from:
"This is well penned with no overt evidence of SPAG making for a smooth and easy read. The content is well thought out and cohesive in its structure. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it."
Shooting blanks with your silencer?
Shoot!
Those who may be wielding a pre-loaded, unpointed, semi-automatic (or fully automatic) review gun to "amplify" THEIR own writing voice, might be unfairly silencing another's.
Just a thought....
.....BANG! (lol)
Actually , Monica, I hope you are not shooting these blanks at me because you think that I don't like, or can't handle any criticism or suggestive pointers. I do appreciate it... but I don't always have to agree with it. The great thing is God made us all different, with different tastes. I admit mine are a bit weird. And I wish that I had more time and inclination to review more on this site, but I don't. Truth be told, I have really only found four or five writers on this site that truly inspire me... but again, I'm weird. ( And most of them are hit and miss...or dead) . So as my little "five shooter" piece points out, my voice is pretty small, and
I would just like a fair shake. I suppose I could just jump on the writes of the ones I am fans of, to pump myself up a bit, ( like some seem to do) but that whole thing, to me, seems to be a giant
"circle jerk" ( excuse my French) and one of the many flaws of the FS system.
But, write on my friend. This piece truly did inspire me. But it almost seems like something I would write. lol.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much for the generous and uplifting encouragement of this piece. I am so pleased you enjoyed it as that is the whole reason I write - to bring a smile to another face and a little warmth in a cold world to another heart. I am more grateful than words can express for your kindness and support.
Comment from royowen
I've always had my doubts about political systems, but out of all the flawed political systems, there's always been the danger of being elected, so like the barter system it rules out the singular advantage. Chess is a great metaphor for life, well done, Excellent entry, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
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I've always had my doubts about political systems, but out of all the flawed political systems, there's always been the danger of being elected, so like the barter system it rules out the singular advantage. Chess is a great metaphor for life, well done, Excellent entry, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 18-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
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Thanks much, Roy. Your kind encouragement and support are always appreciated.
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Good job
Comment from aryr
Good luck with the contest. This was very well done and you chose a great picture to go with this. It was short but rather detailed in the actions taken and the resulting outcome. I really enjoyed this.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
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Good luck with the contest. This was very well done and you chose a great picture to go with this. It was short but rather detailed in the actions taken and the resulting outcome. I really enjoyed this.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much. It's a bit different, but I tend to listen to a totally different drummer when marching along LOL.
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You are very welcome and listening to different drummers is not all that bad. LOL
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello m. You presented a 75 word flash story that certainly meets all requirements for the contest. I believe I understand your metaphorical terms totally. Good luck in the contest. Z
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
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Hello m. You presented a 75 word flash story that certainly meets all requirements for the contest. I believe I understand your metaphorical terms totally. Good luck in the contest. Z
Comment Written 18-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
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Thank you so much. I am happy you enjoyed it and always grateful for your time and kind feedback.
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You're welcome
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written seventy-five word flash fiction about a game of chess that is played with pawns on a checkered board, the king must be protected at all times otherwise he will be check mate.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
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A very well-written seventy-five word flash fiction about a game of chess that is played with pawns on a checkered board, the king must be protected at all times otherwise he will be check mate.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much, Sandra. I appreciate your time and kind feedback.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Using a chess game for a demonstration is great imagination. The Shows, Face the Nation and Meet the Press, beings lots of moments to the Sunday mornings around here.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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Using a chess game for a demonstration is great imagination. The Shows, Face the Nation and Meet the Press, beings lots of moments to the Sunday mornings around here.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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Thanks much, Rosemary. Your kind and encouraging feedback is greatly appreciated.
Comment from humpwhistle
Very nice use of an extended metaphor, and several need word plays.
But, to tell you the truth, I can't decide whether this is wholly whimsical, or a scathing, real-time political commentary. It resembles my waking nightmare all too closely. Words like 'regal', 'royal', and 'sovereign' send chills down my spine when applied to our current political circumstance.
Just my heebie-jeebies, I guess.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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Very nice use of an extended metaphor, and several need word plays.
But, to tell you the truth, I can't decide whether this is wholly whimsical, or a scathing, real-time political commentary. It resembles my waking nightmare all too closely. Words like 'regal', 'royal', and 'sovereign' send chills down my spine when applied to our current political circumstance.
Just my heebie-jeebies, I guess.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 18-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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Thanks much, Lee. The use of the royalty references is meant to keep it in the realm of fiction since we are supposed to be a democracy :) I guess jitters would be in order as the path of executive privilege could leads us to a dictatorship one day - hopefully not in our lifetimes.
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Phew, we agree. I hope a certain Posing Puffin realizes this is fiction. L
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I put up the battle shields just in case.
Comment from Sasha
This is brilliantly written and I love the use of the chess metaphor about the president. I sincerely wish you all the best in this contest...............................................................
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reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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This is brilliantly written and I love the use of the chess metaphor about the president. I sincerely wish you all the best in this contest...............................................................
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Comment Written 18-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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Thanks much, dear friend. I am so glad you enjoyed it as I wasn't really sure how it would be received here - your kind feedback has wiped away all doubt :).
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I cannot imagine anyone not liking this one.
Comment from Neonewman
Mystic, I love your take on this government using a chess game. I absolutely love playing chess so I got all the jest. Brilliantly crafted my friend.
God bless,
Steve.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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Mystic, I love your take on this government using a chess game. I absolutely love playing chess so I got all the jest. Brilliantly crafted my friend.
God bless,
Steve.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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Thank you very much, Steve. I was pretty sure most Chess players would tune into the word play, but not so sure about how the non-players would perceive it. Your kind feedback inspires me to keep taking the path less traveled :).
Comment from BeasPeas
A clever, true-to-life flash fiction. Both sides are deeply invested in the outcome and the entire future of our country is hanging on the outcome. Marilyn
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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A clever, true-to-life flash fiction. Both sides are deeply invested in the outcome and the entire future of our country is hanging on the outcome. Marilyn
Comment Written 17-Nov-2019
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2019
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Thanks much, Marilyn. Maybe that's our biggest problem - they all see it as a game and forget they are actually playing with real lives and real futures.
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I firmly believe in term limits for Congress--just as prez is limited to two. Some of these old coots have been in Congress since the flood. Our founding fathers never intended for it to be a lifelong job living off the public dole. They've become millionaires while in office and we keep on electing them. These people, though, will never vote for term limits. It would end their graft if they did.
