Comment from Sallyo

Excellent

Well, that's nasty! Would she be better to survive the potion... or not?
Creepy. Could be the beginning of a novel. Oh, and I like Cleo85's art too.

A scream that shook her to the core almost ripping her apart
A scream that shook her to the core, almost ripping her apart

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019

Thank you so much, Sallyo. I really appreciate it and i've made the correction. Ulla:)))

Comment from Roxanna Andrews

Excellent

Oh my. That doesn't sound good at all. Poor little thing. There are just too many crazies in this world. Maybe I should rethink keep that guy in my attic. =} Really well done. Hope you did well in the contest. Rox

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019

thank you so much, Roxanna. I so appreciate it. Ulla:)))

Comment from Sharon Haiste

Excellent

I think this is a good entry for the Halloween Flash Fiction contest.
Your story is clear and well told. The artwork is a good match as well.
Well done and good luck to you with the contest.
Sharon

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019

Thanks a lot, Sharon, Ulla:)))

Comment from Susan Morritt

Excellent

Great story with an unexpected twist of setting, as I discovered that the speaker was actually not in her bed, or somewhere outside, but under floor boards. Creepy, and effective. Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019

Thanks a lot, Susan. I so appreciate it. All the best. Ulla:)))_

Comment from estory

Excellent

An eerie tale here. I like the way you go from in the mind of the girl, screaming in her fear, to the mind of the perpetrator, anticipating his goulish reward. I think you used some great descriptions to bring the emotions to life and make us feel like we are experiencing the nightmare. estory

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019

Thanks a lot estory, I'm glad you liked my first ever try on writing a horror story. All the best. Ulla:))

Comment from Ricky1024

Excellent

a"You'd Better Believe It is a Halloween Flash Fiction Horror Contest Entry"
Rich in Theme and Imagery
..
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues as well.
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly and good luck with this and have a great day
Doctor Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019

Thanks a lot, Ricky. I'm glad you liked it. All best. Ulla:))

Comment from Susan Larson

Excellent

You kept me in suspense all the way through. I really liked your opening Nd that the scream she heard was her own. A good horror tale. I think this is a very good entry for the contest.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019

Thank you so much, Susan. I really appreciate this. I'm so glad you liked it. Ulla:)))

Comment from Mistydawn

Excellent

What a haunting tale. It's very well-written, gripping start to finish. The scene seemed very realistic as did your character's thoughts and actions. Your artwork is eerie, perfect for the poem.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019

Thanks a lot, Misty. I so appreciate it. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

This is a terrific entry for this contest. It has marvelous imagery and descriptions of this poor girl's experiennce. This is a great entry and I sincerely wish you all the best.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019

Thanks a lot, Sasha. Who would have thought I would ever had written a horror story? I actually enjoyed writing it. Yikes! Thank you so much. Ulla:)))

reply by Sasha on 03-Nov-2019

You are welcome.

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

Bone chilling, dearest Ulla. I am in awe. It wasn't overly gory but slowly led the reader down the path to the horrible end. Wow. Methinks this is the winner.
Sending you my best today as always.
Sally xoxo

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2019

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reply by the author on 03-Nov-2019

Hahaha, Sally, thank you so much. I'm thrilled that you liked it. How well it will do is yet to be seen. I so appreciate your confidence. Ulla xxx