some of Dawn's Favorite Poems,Vol.3
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Reality"a few of my favorite poems - an eclectic mix
21 total reviews
Comment from sunnilicious
I wonder the same thing. Sometimes, people lose love because of interference's; friends and/or family. They unwilling to be part of your life, but they turn like crazed psychos every chance they get. It is rather sad. How to ignore the truth...
Well thought out and clearly written. Heartfelt as it is sincere. Nice work.
God bless you :)
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I wonder the same thing. Sometimes, people lose love because of interference's; friends and/or family. They unwilling to be part of your life, but they turn like crazed psychos every chance they get. It is rather sad. How to ignore the truth...
Well thought out and clearly written. Heartfelt as it is sincere. Nice work.
God bless you :)
Comment Written 18-Oct-2019
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh, Lady D, this one should come with a coupon for Kleenex tissues or something.... either that or a Google icon so that folks can find the nearest 'retirement community' in their area and just bring flowers for no reason!! ;) :) I guess the underlying message in your beautiful offering, ma'am, is that we should keep ourselves involved no matter what it is...some how stay 'in touch' with the world so that we don't wallow by ourselves with only memories that our mood will no doubt distort... it's not true reality. :( BEAUTIFUL!! ;) :) Thanx for sharing (but not for the tears!!) ... ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Oh, Lady D, this one should come with a coupon for Kleenex tissues or something.... either that or a Google icon so that folks can find the nearest 'retirement community' in their area and just bring flowers for no reason!! ;) :) I guess the underlying message in your beautiful offering, ma'am, is that we should keep ourselves involved no matter what it is...some how stay 'in touch' with the world so that we don't wallow by ourselves with only memories that our mood will no doubt distort... it's not true reality. :( BEAUTIFUL!! ;) :) Thanx for sharing (but not for the tears!!) ... ;) Yvette
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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What a lovely person you are -- I bet you WOULD bring flowers too. Thank you so very much, Yvette. I am over-the-moon! (So sorry for the delay in replying. Not on site a lot lately.)
Comment from Ricky1024
"I Bleed Reality"
Strong words.
This was well Written and rich in Theme and Imagery.
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It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues as well.
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Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for this Dawn and have a great day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
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"I Bleed Reality"
Strong words.
This was well Written and rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for this Dawn and have a great day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about getting older and not able to do the things we used to do. We can only watch the days go by and contemplating about the past seems more than what the future may bring.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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A very well-written poem about getting older and not able to do the things we used to do. We can only watch the days go by and contemplating about the past seems more than what the future may bring.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Thanks very much, Sandra.
Comment from JanetRussek
Dawn, This poem moved me to tears. I've never read anything so heartfelt. Sadly, but beautifully, I felt as though you were writing about me. Your insight into the soul is amazing. The fact that you can touch hearts in this way is a talent beyond words.
Blessings,
Janet
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Dawn, This poem moved me to tears. I've never read anything so heartfelt. Sadly, but beautifully, I felt as though you were writing about me. Your insight into the soul is amazing. The fact that you can touch hearts in this way is a talent beyond words.
Blessings,
Janet
Comment Written 12-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Oh, I am so sorry, Janet, if you are among the numbers. There are too many! What an incredible review. I want to give you my phone number so we can visit (on the phone, anyway). *smile*
Blessings to you, dear friend, and thank you for your uplifting, encouraging words. And that elusive sixth star -- wow! You've made my weekend! :)
Comment from Gloria ....
Very, very good, Dawn. I love the cadence of your poem because it oozes with dignity the old woman feels even in her recognition that love was what she had always been looking for.
A super read and many thanks for sharing.
Gloria
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Very, very good, Dawn. I love the cadence of your poem because it oozes with dignity the old woman feels even in her recognition that love was what she had always been looking for.
A super read and many thanks for sharing.
Gloria
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Thank YOU for reading, Gloria, and for your ever-encouraging, supportive comments -- they mean so much to me! And that pretty, yellow cross? I am so grateful! YAY!
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a beautifully penned poem filled with evocative and powerful emotion, but I do not see how it is Free Verse. This clearly defines a consistent end rhyme pattern which makes it more Rhymed Verse in my limited experience. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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This is a beautifully penned poem filled with evocative and powerful emotion, but I do not see how it is Free Verse. This clearly defines a consistent end rhyme pattern which makes it more Rhymed Verse in my limited experience. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Thank you, Monica. You are missing the point of free verse, however, but I must say, I am not surprised, since an incorrect example of free verse won a contest for you back in 2016 (I just read it again) -- a poem that DID have perfect end rhyme and meter (unlike mine) -- "The Thirteenth Day" was entered in a free verse contest and won. It was an outstanding poem, and whether the judges just made a mistake or simply couldn't help but vote for it is anybody's guess. ??
But this IS free verse. Free verse can and often does include rhyme, both internal and end rhyme, perfect and slant, and my poem, while having some, is NOT a "consistent end rhyme pattern". (For example: "pain, hidden, love, bleed, reality".) There is also no meter to speak of, really -- I write rhymed, metered poetry often, although I never have and never will claim "expertise" (because it seems I can still learn -- Gloria, for example, is one whose work I study. Kiwi Steve is another, and rosehill (Wendy) -- the list is long and goes back before FanStory, actually).
Thank you for reviewing though -- it is much appreciated. (Don't lose sight of the fact that "a rose by any other name still smells as sweet". It is the poem we review, not what the author calls the poem's format.) That is the problem with those who get a little too carried away by their own importance, IMHO, especially on a site like this one (a vanity site). They might think they're right, but are not, at least not as often as they claim to be.
I suspect that may actually have been the very reason your exceptional poem won back then, even though it was not free verse. ?? Perhaps there was no other entry they felt was worthy.
Regardless, I do love that you try to correct me when you think I am wrong. It shows that you are trying to write an honest and thorough review.
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It was not meant to be Free Verse! Ray (Domino) had stipulated in the rules it was anything goes rhymed or unrhymed as long as it was NOT a structured poetic form and I believe put that in the notes to prevent confusion such as this.
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Regardless, I point out the requirements for free verse only because you say mine is not a free verse poem (and it is, and I thought you would benefit with the knowledge.) I will not remark/correct you anymore (in trying to help), because it seems to upset you. I had a lot of help when I first began posting poetry here, and I am only paying it forward, Monica. But maybe you think I have some other motive. I don't.
Also, sorry about the confusion over your contest entry back then. I guess Ray should have changed the title of the contest, because it clearly stated the contest was for free verse, and your poem had/has wonderful rhyme and meter.
Ray was a good friend of mine here (through his several name changes). I'm sure he meant well.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a very depressing poem of an old and lonely person. This person should not give up finding companionship. As long as there is hope, there is a chance of happiness.
I think the second line should be when people wanted my company to be more grammatically correct.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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This is a very depressing poem of an old and lonely person. This person should not give up finding companionship. As long as there is hope, there is a chance of happiness.
I think the second line should be when people wanted my company to be more grammatically correct.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Thank you, Joan. No, I guess people like my protagonist should not give up, but sadly, not everyone is ABLE to seek fellowship/companionship, and that's the premise of this poem. Some shut-ins, for example, should be remembered by those of us who CAN visit.
As for the second line (*smile*), there's nothing wrong with it grammatically. It is just a different syntax, which is often used in poetry -- but thank you for having my back anyway. I always appreciate an honest review.
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You're welcome. You are right about shut ins and those in homes. But there is the phone. Thought visiting is probably the best.
I like constructive criticisim too.
Joan
Comment from damommy
I haven't reached that point yet, even at my age, but I've seen it happen. Old age leaves us sometimes lonely, longing for those younger days.
This is a very moving, poignant free verse, Dawn. Thank you for sharing it.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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I haven't reached that point yet, even at my age, but I've seen it happen. Old age leaves us sometimes lonely, longing for those younger days.
This is a very moving, poignant free verse, Dawn. Thank you for sharing it.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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Thank you for reviewing, Yvonne. I'm glad you liked it. Yep, I have those days occasionally, but thank God, not often. I do think of others though, and try to lighten the burden. Shut-ins are especially vulnerable.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
The reality of life being that we do grow old and sometimes when friends have passed, we are then alone. The poem is full of loneliness, but that can be an asset when we age. I thrive, alone, as I write and contemplate and meditate. So much in the world yet to learn despite age. Life is not a counting of the years but an aggregate of knowledge and faith. The picture surely compliments your artful words.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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The reality of life being that we do grow old and sometimes when friends have passed, we are then alone. The poem is full of loneliness, but that can be an asset when we age. I thrive, alone, as I write and contemplate and meditate. So much in the world yet to learn despite age. Life is not a counting of the years but an aggregate of knowledge and faith. The picture surely compliments your artful words.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
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What a marvelous review -- thank you! Yes, I also enjoy solitude, but unforced. Sadly, there are many who don't have a lot of choice. That is the premise for this poem. A reminder that we can give to others in many ways. I agree, too, that there is much to learn still, and I think seeking answers keeps us young. :)
