Haiku (overcoming daily drought)
Join me in gathering at nature's watering hole...53 total reviews
Comment from tfawcus
An interesting metaphor and an effective one. Is this what, at the start of the day, might be described as a Tequila Sunrise?
I hope the drought is over. They do say that a red sky at night makes shepherds happy, even if it doesn't herald rain.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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An interesting metaphor and an effective one. Is this what, at the start of the day, might be described as a Tequila Sunrise?
I hope the drought is over. They do say that a red sky at night makes shepherds happy, even if it doesn't herald rain.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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Hey, hey! You may be on to something here, sir -- and I like it!! ;) ;) Will definitely have to think about it over drinks... LOL! ;) :) Thanx for the review on this one, Tony -- much appreciated! ;) Yvette
Comment from Thomas Bowling
You have written a great short poem. I love the way your font colors mimic the photograph. It's very clever. Good luck in the contest. Contests on FanStory are difficult to win.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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You have written a great short poem. I love the way your font colors mimic the photograph. It's very clever. Good luck in the contest. Contests on FanStory are difficult to win.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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Thank you for the review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, Overcoming Daily Drought, presented as a 5-7-5, employs water related word choices which float this poem to a level of excellence.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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This haiku, Overcoming Daily Drought, presented as a 5-7-5, employs water related word choices which float this poem to a level of excellence.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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Thanx for your review on this one, Bill. :) Much appreciated. :)
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are creative, descriptive and interesting.
I pondered on the words of this poem and the beauty it
conveyed. The artwork is perfect and compliments this poem
well.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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The author's words are creative, descriptive and interesting.
I pondered on the words of this poem and the beauty it
conveyed. The artwork is perfect and compliments this poem
well.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your review, Harmony. :) ;)
Comment from poetwatch
The day is hot, but happy, yet dusk is refreshed ready to bid a kiss to the stars that grace our lovely night. Very nice picture to go with a lovely Haiku, Yvette. This is a painting on canvas. A good entry for the Haiku Writing Contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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The day is hot, but happy, yet dusk is refreshed ready to bid a kiss to the stars that grace our lovely night. Very nice picture to go with a lovely Haiku, Yvette. This is a painting on canvas. A good entry for the Haiku Writing Contest.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2019
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Thanx for your review on this one, Jose -- great to hear from you! :) ;) Yvette
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements nicely. Lines 1 and 2 are well connected and provide a concrete image of a moment in time. The use of personification, "sip / thirst", is a bit iffy as it is typically not allowed in haiku but the judges may be lenient and let it go. There s no kigo but, again, from all those I've read it does not seem to be a big deal unless the judges choose to make it so. All in all, a beautiful verse and stunning presentation. Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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This meets the contest requirements nicely. Lines 1 and 2 are well connected and provide a concrete image of a moment in time. The use of personification, "sip / thirst", is a bit iffy as it is typically not allowed in haiku but the judges may be lenient and let it go. There s no kigo but, again, from all those I've read it does not seem to be a big deal unless the judges choose to make it so. All in all, a beautiful verse and stunning presentation. Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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Thanx, Angel, I know all the restrictions and the rules for haikus, but I can't seem to stick to them....one of the reasons I don't do sonnets and other such structured forms either....I tend to write more from emotion and of trying to make others feel what I do when I observe/describe something....and then I try to put it all to the melody in my head. It was a free contest and I had the opportunity to paint a sunset here with words that 'took my breath away' .... and my words tried to do the same. I am definitely not a 'trained' poet or writer -- science degree and all -- so, I guess it's a crapshoot on your end whether you end up with something 'correct' or not... LOL! ;) ;) I apologize in advance for the 'incorrects'. :) ;) Thanx for being honest, though, I treasure that! ;) ;) Take care and have a wonderful weekend! ;) ;) Yvette :)
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Oh, Yvette, I didn't mean to come off as being critical - I was trying to be helpful. I think you a wonderful writer. I sincerely apologize if I have hurt or offended you in any way.
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No offense taken, Angel, and no apologies necessary -- I was just being honest to let you know up front what you're getting yourself into! ;) ;) LOL! :) And I really do appreciate your trying to keep me on the 'straight and narrow' ... I look forward to more!! ;) ;) Mean that, Angel....honestly. :) ;) Yvette
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Well ? KNOW I am thrilled to be in there with you. God bless.
Comment from Carla Trinklein
Not a moment of sunlight wasted! This is beautiful imagery, especially for summertime when we are all outside trying to drink in as much of the sun's warmth as we can.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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Not a moment of sunlight wasted! This is beautiful imagery, especially for summertime when we are all outside trying to drink in as much of the sun's warmth as we can.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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Thank you, Carla, for such an outstanding review and those lovely stars!! :) Such a lovely start to the weekend!! :) :) And I am so glad you enjoyed the sunset here -- sit back with a favorite beverage and enjoy one near you (you deserve it after your advocation for the kiddos!!!)!! :) ;) Take care out there! ;) Yvette :)
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Haiku (overcoming daily drought) is short succinct and very much to the point. With a minimum of words this talented poet has told it as it is. To me, this is definitely a six. I very much look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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"Haiku (overcoming daily drought) is short succinct and very much to the point. With a minimum of words this talented poet has told it as it is. To me, this is definitely a six. I very much look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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Thank you, Duchess, for such an outstanding review and those lovely stars!! :) Such a lovely start to the weekend!! :) :) And I am so glad you enjoyed the sunset here -- sit back with a favorite beverage and enjoy one near you!! :) ;) Take care over there! ;) Yvette :)
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Thank you Yvette,
my pen-pushing friend. You're more than welcome. I certainly enjoyed the sunset. I'll do what you suggest. You have a wonderful weekend too,
Take care and God bless,
the Duchess !(-_-)!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An ambient write Yvette filled with the last glow of sunset warmth before the night falls, your brought the scene to my eyes with your words, best of luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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An ambient write Yvette filled with the last glow of sunset warmth before the night falls, your brought the scene to my eyes with your words, best of luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 05-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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Thank you so very much, Dolly, for the review on this shorty...appreciate your stopping by! ;) Have a wonderful weekend! :) Yvette
Comment from Earl Corp
I believe this is the first haiku I have read on Fanstory, mostly because I understood your point. I think your analogy of thirsty hilltops drinking up the sunshine is perfect. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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I believe this is the first haiku I have read on Fanstory, mostly because I understood your point. I think your analogy of thirsty hilltops drinking up the sunshine is perfect. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2019
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Thank you so very much, Earl, for the review on this shorty...appreciate your stopping by! ;) Have a wonderful weekend! :) Yvette
