The God of Broken Dreams
Minute Poem13 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Good one Steve, your Minute poem left me with a smile. I really enjoyed this one, in particular the tension you set up, the second verse is a beauty. Loved it.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Good one Steve, your Minute poem left me with a smile. I really enjoyed this one, in particular the tension you set up, the second verse is a beauty. Loved it.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Valda. Who hasn't been scared by strange noises in the night?!
Steve
Comment from tfawcus
Now there's a god to unite the nations. There would be few who are unfamiliar with him. I like the way the trailing echo of the short lines adds to the haunting atmosphere. A good use of the form.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
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Now there's a god to unite the nations. There would be few who are unfamiliar with him. I like the way the trailing echo of the short lines adds to the haunting atmosphere. A good use of the form.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Tony.
I was quite pleased with how this one fell into place.
Steve
Comment from LIJ Red
The artwork said to me, "The House Of Usher." I cannot find fault in the Minute poem, as far as rhyme, meter, image. An excellent post, in my unschooled opinion.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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The artwork said to me, "The House Of Usher." I cannot find fault in the Minute poem, as far as rhyme, meter, image. An excellent post, in my unschooled opinion.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Red. Actually, I'm not that happy with the artwork, but it was the best I could find.
Steve
Comment from Joy Graham
This is high on my creepy chart, Steve. Gives me chills and I can predict a few nightmares in my future just from reading this.
Best wishes in the contest.
Joy xx
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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This is high on my creepy chart, Steve. Gives me chills and I can predict a few nightmares in my future just from reading this.
Best wishes in the contest.
Joy xx
Comment Written 04-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Joy.
Creepy was my intention. Think happy thoughts and avoid those nightmares at all costs!
Steve
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Ah, giving Dean a run for his money in the creepy poem category. Perfection in form and positively frightening. Good luck in the race to the podium. - Wendy
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Ah, giving Dean a run for his money in the creepy poem category. Perfection in form and positively frightening. Good luck in the race to the podium. - Wendy
Comment Written 04-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Wendy.
Can't let Dean have all the creepy section to himself!
Appreciate the six stars.
Steve
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Cleverly done in a minute poem for the contest.
In darkest night, I am the sweep
of wings, the creep
of foot on stair
when no one's there.
This part is very well done and my favorite.
Count and form are spot on
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Cleverly done in a minute poem for the contest.
In darkest night, I am the sweep
of wings, the creep
of foot on stair
when no one's there.
This part is very well done and my favorite.
Count and form are spot on
Comment Written 04-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Barb.
I like the feel of that part too and perhaps it resonates - who hasn't heard mysterious night-time noises?
Steve
Comment from strandregs
Nicely creepy roll of the dice Steve.
You are the man of the hour of the Minute.
A little flatery goes a long way .
Even if I mean it.
I'm still reeling rolling with the winkle wonkle. :-))Z.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Nicely creepy roll of the dice Steve.
You are the man of the hour of the Minute.
A little flatery goes a long way .
Even if I mean it.
I'm still reeling rolling with the winkle wonkle. :-))Z.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Yep, this is no winkel-wagon - trying to balance the books by heading in the other direction.
Steve
Comment from rama devi
Eloquent and intense. DEAN would LOVE this! Masterrfully crafted meter and rhyme in a true to form minute poem. The fluidity of enjambment is remarkable read aloud, especially this stanza:
In darkest night, I am the sweep
of wings, the creep
of foot on stair
when no one's there.
The presentation is fantastic. Atmospheric combo!
Bravo and good luck.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Eloquent and intense. DEAN would LOVE this! Masterrfully crafted meter and rhyme in a true to form minute poem. The fluidity of enjambment is remarkable read aloud, especially this stanza:
In darkest night, I am the sweep
of wings, the creep
of foot on stair
when no one's there.
The presentation is fantastic. Atmospheric combo!
Bravo and good luck.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 04-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Rama. I like that stanza too, although I was a little worried that others may read it without the pause and flow necessary to get the full meaning.
First stanza came to me ten minutes after I got into bed, so I got up and wrote it down. Second stanza came in the middle of the night and I repeated it to myself often enough that I still remembered it in the morning. Third stanza was also in my head overnight, but I couldn't recall it in the morning and had to piece it back together in dribs and drabs during the day.
What a hard life we poets have!
Steve
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Ah yes! My muse is a night owl too...
Warmly,
rd
Comment from Cybertron1986
I love the disturbing and eerie theme here. It made me look over my shoulder as I read this in my dark living room :)
You've established that right emotional reaction here with the toll of a human soul. That's the ultimate price anyone can pay. Beautiful!
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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I love the disturbing and eerie theme here. It made me look over my shoulder as I read this in my dark living room :)
You've established that right emotional reaction here with the toll of a human soul. That's the ultimate price anyone can pay. Beautiful!
Comment Written 03-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Thank you for the very kind words. It seems my work frequently drifts towards the dark side, even though I am not a believer in anything magical and mystical!
Steve
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a clever, unique and well worded minute, the sentiments here resonate and your near rhyme is good too: toll/soul, but most of all I could identify with your words, good luck with the contest, you had my attention here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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This is a clever, unique and well worded minute, the sentiments here resonate and your near rhyme is good too: toll/soul, but most of all I could identify with your words, good luck with the contest, you had my attention here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 03-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
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Dolly, thanks for the kind words. To my kiwi ear, toll/soul is pretty close to a full rhyme, but I know that is not so for everyone.
Steve
