Free Verse Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Sleeping Music"A collection of free verse poems
28 total reviews
Comment from Sugarray77
You have written a lovely and eloquent verse, Tony. I enjoyed reading this as it flowed through the sleepy ocean of slumber. Well done and well written.
Melissa
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2019
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You have written a lovely and eloquent verse, Tony. I enjoyed reading this as it flowed through the sleepy ocean of slumber. Well done and well written.
Melissa
Comment Written 10-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2019
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Many thanks for your review, Melissa, and your lovely comments about my poem and the mood it created. All the best, Tony
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Tony,
This is a lovely poem. Your use of the common words and the way you combine them made an elegant read. Thank you so much for sharing the beauty of this piece.
~patty~
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2019
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Hi, Tony,
This is a lovely poem. Your use of the common words and the way you combine them made an elegant read. Thank you so much for sharing the beauty of this piece.
~patty~
Comment Written 10-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2019
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Many thanks for your review, Patty, and your comments about my poem. It was one that grew gradually over a number of days and several re-writes. All the best, Tony
Comment from LisaMay
Your nature images of water and sky move with tranquil tenderness through my imagination as I read this, with a quiet musical 'soundtrack' that quietens, echoes, then ceases. Human presence is alluded to and brings in images of damage and death at close of day: sallow flesh, bruise, embalming, drowned. In the end we are just flotsam on the dead sea swell, ancient history without a voice.
In the last stanza I kept thinking of the Dead Sea scrolls, and thinking perhaps a Biblical reference wasn't misplaced.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Your nature images of water and sky move with tranquil tenderness through my imagination as I read this, with a quiet musical 'soundtrack' that quietens, echoes, then ceases. Human presence is alluded to and brings in images of damage and death at close of day: sallow flesh, bruise, embalming, drowned. In the end we are just flotsam on the dead sea swell, ancient history without a voice.
In the last stanza I kept thinking of the Dead Sea scrolls, and thinking perhaps a Biblical reference wasn't misplaced.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Thank you so much for your generous comments about the atmospherics in this poem, LisaMay. Very much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
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Truly my pleasure, Tony.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A very nice image and presentation, Tony.
-It's like they could tell their own story.
-You have included so many
effective descriptions with
many different poetic devices.
-I like the beginning with
"sleeping music." We can
probably use some tonight
when we lose an hour of sleep!
-I like the last two lines, as well
about "figures from the past"
that now have no sound,
or voice to share any
of their insights or wisdom.
-Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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-A very nice image and presentation, Tony.
-It's like they could tell their own story.
-You have included so many
effective descriptions with
many different poetic devices.
-I like the beginning with
"sleeping music." We can
probably use some tonight
when we lose an hour of sleep!
-I like the last two lines, as well
about "figures from the past"
that now have no sound,
or voice to share any
of their insights or wisdom.
-Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Thank you, Pam. So glad to hear that the poem worked for you on this level. I very much appreciate your comments. Best wishes, Tony
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You are very welcome, Tony.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
An excellent free verse that has such a natural feel to it.
The sleeping music has many overtones, the harmony
of seasons, the passage of time, the inevitable transition of life.
Subtle poetics are always the best.
In truth, some music puts me to sleep, and that's a good thing
Nicely done
Robert
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Hello Tony,
An excellent free verse that has such a natural feel to it.
The sleeping music has many overtones, the harmony
of seasons, the passage of time, the inevitable transition of life.
Subtle poetics are always the best.
In truth, some music puts me to sleep, and that's a good thing
Nicely done
Robert
Comment Written 09-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Robert. Glad to hear that the poetics blended in successfully. I had my fingers crossed that they would.
I'm fond of music, but I too find that it can have a soporific effect - rather like Mr McGregor's lettuces!
Comment from lyenochka
Beautiful description of a perfect sleep/dream. I'm impressed with your ballet and musical terms of "pas-de-deux" and "glissandos." Lovely sights and sounds throughout your free verse!
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Beautiful description of a perfect sleep/dream. I'm impressed with your ballet and musical terms of "pas-de-deux" and "glissandos." Lovely sights and sounds throughout your free verse!
Comment Written 09-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Helen. I appreciate your review and comments. All the best Tony
Comment from catch22
Hi Tony, what a lovely picture your poem paints with the serene imagery and soft s sounds throughout. Lovely use of free verse and poetic sound devices in the poem.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Hi Tony, what a lovely picture your poem paints with the serene imagery and soft s sounds throughout. Lovely use of free verse and poetic sound devices in the poem.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Pam. I appreciate your review and comments. It's good to hear from you. All the best Tony
Comment from Gail Denham
Well written poem. Music hidden or at rest. And "fragmented figures from the past, now bereft of sound". Meaningful. Poem moves along smoothly. "Their gold embalms...and calms each bruise. I can see why you've continued to play high in the ratings. Good luck.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Well written poem. Music hidden or at rest. And "fragmented figures from the past, now bereft of sound". Meaningful. Poem moves along smoothly. "Their gold embalms...and calms each bruise. I can see why you've continued to play high in the ratings. Good luck.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Gail. I appreciate your review and comments. All the best Tony
Comment from Louise Michelle
Okay, Tony, I wouldn't exactly call this free verse because you stuck in some internal rhymes. I guess you're implying that those poor rhymes aren't part of the union and, therefore, receive no pay, haha.
But, seriously, this was quite lovely. I love alliteration and particularly enjoyed the 'f' words in the last stanza. That didn't come out right - I wasn't implying that the words were naughty. Well, you said you like my reviews so you have no one to blame but yourself for encouraging me, LOL.
But, seriously yet again, I've always admired your talent as a poet and it's a pleasure to read you. I better leave now while I'm ahead. Regards, Lou
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Okay, Tony, I wouldn't exactly call this free verse because you stuck in some internal rhymes. I guess you're implying that those poor rhymes aren't part of the union and, therefore, receive no pay, haha.
But, seriously, this was quite lovely. I love alliteration and particularly enjoyed the 'f' words in the last stanza. That didn't come out right - I wasn't implying that the words were naughty. Well, you said you like my reviews so you have no one to blame but yourself for encouraging me, LOL.
But, seriously yet again, I've always admired your talent as a poet and it's a pleasure to read you. I better leave now while I'm ahead. Regards, Lou
Comment Written 09-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Louise. As always, I appreciate your review and comments. I don't believe that free verse has to be unrhymed, like blank verse. As I understand it, it's just poetry without the constriction of a set form. All the best Tony
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Oh, then disregard everything I said, LOL.
Comment from Pantygynt
It is particularly encouraging for me as an instructor on this site to find past students employing devices and techniques they covered in my classes.
Bang in the middle of this delightful piece of free verse, yet without being intrusive there exist some excellent examples of internal and cross rhyme forms covered in a recent class. Gold/rose is an excellent example of internal assonance and there is full cross rhyme with embalms/calms even down to the visual effect of the similar spelling. Neither did the delightful euphony obtained in the consonance of rose/bruise in th same stanza.
That the bulk of these devices occur inthe central stanza does not mean that poetic devices are absent from the other two stanzas that protect the sweet centre like wrapping paper round candy (that word for the benefit of our American readers).
Leaves/breeze in the first stanza is an excellent example of internal assonance that is so close to full rhyme as makes no matter, and the alliterating sussuration throughout the whole stanza contrasts with that on the 'P', describing a human activity (dance) rather than the gentler sounds of nature.
In the final stanza this euphonious couplet precedes a beautiful simile to conclude the poem.
'... echoes of those
whose shadows form ...'
I do hope the others in the class see this and I can only apologise for not getting around to reading it myself until after the class had concuded.
Definitely this is worth a virtual six stars.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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It is particularly encouraging for me as an instructor on this site to find past students employing devices and techniques they covered in my classes.
Bang in the middle of this delightful piece of free verse, yet without being intrusive there exist some excellent examples of internal and cross rhyme forms covered in a recent class. Gold/rose is an excellent example of internal assonance and there is full cross rhyme with embalms/calms even down to the visual effect of the similar spelling. Neither did the delightful euphony obtained in the consonance of rose/bruise in th same stanza.
That the bulk of these devices occur inthe central stanza does not mean that poetic devices are absent from the other two stanzas that protect the sweet centre like wrapping paper round candy (that word for the benefit of our American readers).
Leaves/breeze in the first stanza is an excellent example of internal assonance that is so close to full rhyme as makes no matter, and the alliterating sussuration throughout the whole stanza contrasts with that on the 'P', describing a human activity (dance) rather than the gentler sounds of nature.
In the final stanza this euphonious couplet precedes a beautiful simile to conclude the poem.
'... echoes of those
whose shadows form ...'
I do hope the others in the class see this and I can only apologise for not getting around to reading it myself until after the class had concuded.
Definitely this is worth a virtual six stars.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Jim. I appreciate the thorough analysis of this one. Thanks, too, for the time and effort you put into the course. A well deserved rest, I hope, before the next one starts! All the best, Tony
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Thank you for your appreciation.
