Prize of a Lifetime
Keep them close in those younger years...25 total reviews
Comment from Debbie Pope
This is quirky good! I had to read and reread to keep the characters straight, but that is not even necessary. The point is well made. Thanks for the memories of that sailor and dog. They never crossed my mind when I was a child. I just ate the Cracker Jack. Now, I see the snack in a new light. I need to relive so many childhood memories to see what awesome I overlooked.
Your story just took Hannah and me away to a fantasy world.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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This is quirky good! I had to read and reread to keep the characters straight, but that is not even necessary. The point is well made. Thanks for the memories of that sailor and dog. They never crossed my mind when I was a child. I just ate the Cracker Jack. Now, I see the snack in a new light. I need to relive so many childhood memories to see what awesome I overlooked.
Your story just took Hannah and me away to a fantasy world.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Yeah, you know I picked up a box on a lark about a year or so ago...the prize was some little cheap tattoo...and just ONE at that!! :) :) But,yeah, I put it on anyway knowing it would wash off....hey, I'm old, but I'm not dead!! :) :) Crazy, too, sometimes, but it keeps me young on the inside!! ;) :) So glad you enjoyed this, Debbie, and thank you for those wonderful stars!! This was my ?fantasy write? with a message, but the 75 word limit made it a challenge. I have known many students and parents who use the cinema as a 'babysitter' on days when the school system has a holiday but the parent has to work....sigh. :) :) Thank you, as always, for your thoughtful review, B'ham Lady, and have a wonderful week of finding hidden prizes where you never thought you would!! :) :) Yvette
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How many FanStory members would have put on that tattoo? I love your spirit.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, YM, with the contest prompt. I enjoyed reading your little story. I love cracker jacks. You left your story to readers to fill in what happened. I like that. Your lines read smoothly. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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You did a great job, YM, with the contest prompt. I enjoyed reading your little story. I love cracker jacks. You left your story to readers to fill in what happened. I like that. Your lines read smoothly. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 29-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Yeah, I purposefully left that open for the reader...did not want to go 'dark as this was a ?fantasy write? with a message...the fact that the little girl was gone was the point. I will say that the 75 word limit made it a challenge. I have known many students and parents who use the cinema as a 'babysitter' on days when the school system has a holiday but the parent has to work....sigh. :) :)Thanx for stopping by, Jan, and have a wonderful week of finding hidden prizes where you never thought you would!! Yvette
Comment from Mastery
Yeah, but the prizes are funky now. They used to be good ones, sometimes even useful now...cheapo paper with nothing decent really, Yvette. This is a dandy entry for the contest, though. I hope you did not post too late. Sunday was the deadline. Good luck. Bob
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Yeah, but the prizes are funky now. They used to be good ones, sometimes even useful now...cheapo paper with nothing decent really, Yvette. This is a dandy entry for the contest, though. I hope you did not post too late. Sunday was the deadline. Good luck. Bob
Comment Written 29-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Yeah, picked up a box on a lark about a year or so ago...some little cheap tattoo...and just ONE at that!! :) :) But,yeah, I put it on anyway knowing it would wash off....hey, I'm old, but I'm not dead!! :) :) So glad you enjoyed this, Bob ? don't think the timing is a problem as it was posted around six or so Sunday evening Central Standard Time. :) ;) This was my ?fantasy write? with a message, but the 75 word limit made it a challenge. I have known many students and parents who use the cinema as a 'babysitter' on days when the school system has a holiday but the parent has to work....sigh. :) :) Thank you, as always, for your thoughtful review and have a wonderful week of finding hidden prizes where you never thought you would!! :) :) Yvette
Comment from Marie Werner
Nice take on the 75 word writing prompt. I always enjoy your formatting, here your italics on "Adventure Ticket" help get the point across. I am not sure if it would have the same effect with quotes only.
Thanks for posting and have a good day!
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Nice take on the 75 word writing prompt. I always enjoy your formatting, here your italics on "Adventure Ticket" help get the point across. I am not sure if it would have the same effect with quotes only.
Thanks for posting and have a good day!
Comment Written 29-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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So glad you enjoyed this, Marie ? and you're right about trying to find just the right way to present things so that they have the impact you, as the author want! :) :) I tried this out -- thanx for the thumbs up! :) :) This was my ?fantasy write? with a message, but the 75 word limit made it a challenge. I have known many students and parents who use the cinema as a 'babysitter' on days when the school system has a holiday but the parent has to work....sigh. :) :) Thank you, as always, for your thoughtful review and have a wonderful week of finding hidden prizes where you never thought you would!! :) :) Yvette
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written seventy five word flash fiction story about the prize that is every child's dream to receive a fantastic peanut and popcorn caramel coated treat.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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A very well-written seventy five word flash fiction story about the prize that is every child's dream to receive a fantastic peanut and popcorn caramel coated treat.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Thank you for the read and review, Sandra ? always appreciated. I have known many students and parents who use the cinema as a 'babysitter' on days when the school system has a holiday but the parent has to work....sigh. :) :) Again, thanx for stopping by and have a wonderful week of finding hidden prizes where you never thought you would!! :) :) Yvette
Comment from giraffmang
Now, I'm wondering if this is some supernatural twisting, or Hannah's been abducted by some pervert for nefarious means. the answer is up to you...
Spot on word count and technically well-written.
G
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Now, I'm wondering if this is some supernatural twisting, or Hannah's been abducted by some pervert for nefarious means. the answer is up to you...
Spot on word count and technically well-written.
G
Comment Written 29-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Yeah, I purposefully left that open for the reader...did not want to go 'dark as this was a ?fantasy write? with a message...the fact that the little girl was gone was the point. I will say that the 75 word limit made it a challenge. I have known many students and parents who use the cinema as a 'babysitter' on days when the school system has a holiday but the parent has to work....sigh. :) :) Again, thanx for stopping by and have a wonderful week of finding hidden prizes where you never thought you would!! Yvette
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Not heard of them, but they sound deliciously naughty, but your story has some sad sentiments to it as Hannah and Claire are not really connecting, you reap what you sow in life and keeping your daughters close is paying off for me today, a poignant write Yvette, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Not heard of them, but they sound deliciously naughty, but your story has some sad sentiments to it as Hannah and Claire are not really connecting, you reap what you sow in life and keeping your daughters close is paying off for me today, a poignant write Yvette, love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Thank you for the read and review, Dolly ? this was a ?fantasy write? with a message, but the 75 word limit made it a challenge. I have known many students and parents who use the cinema as a 'babysitter' on days when the school system has a holiday but the parent has to work....sigh. :) :) Again, thanx for stopping by and have a wonderful week of finding hidden prizes where you never thought you would!! Yvette
Comment from meeshu
alright, Yvette. now either you've got cute little Cracker Jack child's fantasy here. Or a sickwad hanging out in theatres with plant prizes and evil intentions. I prefer to think it is a Wonkaish cannibal thing. this reminds me of the night Cyndy and my bro. Craig and I sat around and did drunken dramatic readings of Bazooka Joe Comics. Legendary!! you're a 6six6 just for your love of Jacks.......................meeshu
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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alright, Yvette. now either you've got cute little Cracker Jack child's fantasy here. Or a sickwad hanging out in theatres with plant prizes and evil intentions. I prefer to think it is a Wonkaish cannibal thing. this reminds me of the night Cyndy and my bro. Craig and I sat around and did drunken dramatic readings of Bazooka Joe Comics. Legendary!! you're a 6six6 just for your love of Jacks.......................meeshu
Comment Written 29-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Yeah, I purposefully left that open for the reader...did not want to go 'dark as this was a ?fantasy write? with a message...the fact that the little girl was gone was the point. I will say that the 75 word limit made it a challenge. I have known many students and parents who use the cinema as a 'babysitter' on days when the school system has a holiday but the parent has to work....sigh. :) :) Buy, hey, this is not the platform for another rant!!!:) :) Thanx, dude, for stopping by and have a wonderful week of finding hidden prizes where you never thought you would (tell Cyndy to do so, too)!! Yvette
Comment from lyenochka
So did Claire, the mom, just wait outside of the movie theatre? Seems like that would be a very long wait. I would rather watch with my child. These days, people just wait to see it online and every family member watches their own preferred show. Rather sad to have that lack of community of doing things together. Good point in your story! And yes, I used to enjoy Cracker Jack.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2018
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So did Claire, the mom, just wait outside of the movie theatre? Seems like that would be a very long wait. I would rather watch with my child. These days, people just wait to see it online and every family member watches their own preferred show. Rather sad to have that lack of community of doing things together. Good point in your story! And yes, I used to enjoy Cracker Jack.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2018
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Thank you for pointing out something important, Helen!. This was one of those writes where you have a cut here and slice here to make it fit and I left out the important part of where Claire was going with one of my 'cuts'. I've added it back if you get a chance to glance at it and let me know what you think.....I have known many students and parents who use the cinema as a 'babysitter' on days when the school system has a holiday but the parent has to work....sigh. :) :) Thank you for having my back, ma'am!! :) :)
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Oh, that gives me a completely different picture of the relationship. But it's still horrifying that the cinema was viewed as a babysitter!
Comment from country ranch writer
Nice work up for your poem and they still sell crackerjacks in the stores. Guess her mom don't feel so smug now and wonders where she is.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Nice work up for your poem and they still sell crackerjacks in the stores. Guess her mom don't feel so smug now and wonders where she is.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Thank you for the read and review, Country Ranch ? always appreciated. I have known many students and parents who use the cinema as a 'babysitter' on days when the school system has a holiday but the parent has to work....sigh. :) :) Again, thanx for stopping by and have a wonderful week of finding hidden prizes where you never thought you would!! :) :) Yvette
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THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU ARE SO KIND AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT
