Times Have Certainly Changed
A 5-7-5-7-7 poem6 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Mark,
I loved the idea of this poem, but the actual wording didn't quite work for me -- sorry! hahaha! I would have said:
It is quite stressful
Enough to make someone faint
She sees his (new) wife
Witty, charming, (now-)married,
Wearing pearls he once gave her.
I'm not sure if you'll see the difference but it seemed to make a subtle difference to me. Thanks for sharing~! I enjoyed!
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2018
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Mark,
I loved the idea of this poem, but the actual wording didn't quite work for me -- sorry! hahaha! I would have said:
It is quite stressful
Enough to make someone faint
She sees his (new) wife
Witty, charming, (now-)married,
Wearing pearls he once gave her.
I'm not sure if you'll see the difference but it seemed to make a subtle difference to me. Thanks for sharing~! I enjoyed!
Comment Written 30-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your review and new perspective.
Comment from Ogden
Yes, that could get her goat. But why do you say times have changed? You could use a better title. Like 'She Shouldn't Have Gone To that Wedding' or something. Also, I'd punctuate the first three lines.
I hope this is of some help.
Don
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2018
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Yes, that could get her goat. But why do you say times have changed? You could use a better title. Like 'She Shouldn't Have Gone To that Wedding' or something. Also, I'd punctuate the first three lines.
I hope this is of some help.
Don
Comment Written 23-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your review and suggestions.
Comment from Stacey Arnold
This poem says a lot in few words. The thought of seeing someone whom you once loved be with someone else who is taking your place, would be incredibly hard. I would probably feel like passing out, too. The only thing I might change to have it flow a little better is to change the word "enough" to the first line. I'm just a beginner, though, in my own poetry. I really love the poem, and keep it going!
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2018
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This poem says a lot in few words. The thought of seeing someone whom you once loved be with someone else who is taking your place, would be incredibly hard. I would probably feel like passing out, too. The only thing I might change to have it flow a little better is to change the word "enough" to the first line. I'm just a beginner, though, in my own poetry. I really love the poem, and keep it going!
Comment Written 23-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your review and suggestion.
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You're so welcome
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You're welcome:)
Comment from donette1914
I can imagine the scene and how it would feel quite stressful to seeing white pearls he once gave her.
I really like the artwork and how creative you are
very well penned and I truly enjoyed your work
thank you for sharing
donette1914 Aug 23, 2018
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2018
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I can imagine the scene and how it would feel quite stressful to seeing white pearls he once gave her.
I really like the artwork and how creative you are
very well penned and I truly enjoyed your work
thank you for sharing
donette1914 Aug 23, 2018
Comment Written 23-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from LeftHandedScribe
There is a world in these few lines. This brief tale could open into a sweeping novel. There is conflict and history in such a brief piece which speaks volumes about your skill.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2018
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There is a world in these few lines. This brief tale could open into a sweeping novel. There is conflict and history in such a brief piece which speaks volumes about your skill.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from KyColonel Randal
Thank you for sharing. This is an interesting glimpse at a moment in time. You have captured this moment perfectly within the confines of this poetic form. The picture you have chosen also compliments the poem well.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2018
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Thank you for sharing. This is an interesting glimpse at a moment in time. You have captured this moment perfectly within the confines of this poetic form. The picture you have chosen also compliments the poem well.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your review.
