Chasing of the Wind.
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Dr. Pascal's Dilemma. "Conflict between the Human Needs and the Divinity
2 total reviews
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
"I need to bring you in on a terrible family secrete that I had been keeping in my heart since my mother's death in Rome. You were there with me and may remember that at the last hour of her life, mother had asked me to come in her room alone. She did not ask me to take any pledge of secrecy but left it up to my conscience to deal with that secrete. I did not divulge it to you because of its gravity and I needed time to hash it out the moral obligations thoroughly and understand the physical consequences on our lives, completely. I was going to wait for a while before burdening you with the knowledge of my ancestry. But this sudden appearance of Francis and Mr. Mendez has changed the equation drastically." She did not like the prologue. It sounded like a yarn full of riddles and fictitious events.
"This has more mystery to solve, than to elicit any useful information for anyone to comprehend and determine the importance or the purpose," she thought. Again she said nothing but waited for him to continue. I LOVE the way you write. Don't ever stop1 Brilliant work1 Well done kindest regards Meia x love this mystery x
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2018
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"I need to bring you in on a terrible family secrete that I had been keeping in my heart since my mother's death in Rome. You were there with me and may remember that at the last hour of her life, mother had asked me to come in her room alone. She did not ask me to take any pledge of secrecy but left it up to my conscience to deal with that secrete. I did not divulge it to you because of its gravity and I needed time to hash it out the moral obligations thoroughly and understand the physical consequences on our lives, completely. I was going to wait for a while before burdening you with the knowledge of my ancestry. But this sudden appearance of Francis and Mr. Mendez has changed the equation drastically." She did not like the prologue. It sounded like a yarn full of riddles and fictitious events.
"This has more mystery to solve, than to elicit any useful information for anyone to comprehend and determine the importance or the purpose," she thought. Again she said nothing but waited for him to continue. I LOVE the way you write. Don't ever stop1 Brilliant work1 Well done kindest regards Meia x love this mystery x
Comment Written 12-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2018
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Thank you Meia. I appreciate your encouraging comments. I just published my first novel, " Wheel of Samsara-A complete Circle' on Lulu. It is available at Lulu.com for 40% Discount and also in a ebook format. I am sure you will like it, if you like my writing style. If you do, please do not forget to give me your comments on that website. This chapter is part of my novel yet to be published, "Chasing of the wind". It is part of my portfolio, Hope you will enjoy reading more of my work that includes a poetry book, 'Random Reflections.' Thanks again. With best wishes, Arun
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hi Niyuta, nice to see you in this piece of writing as i"m not sure if I have reviewed you before, or not. I liked your well-written story, and it will be interesting to see if they manage to go back to their old life.
I noticed this:
on a terrible family secret(e-remove) that I had been keeping in my heart since my mother's death in Rome.
The above words 'had been keeping' is passive voice and you seem to do it a bit, and I would suggest that you edit it out and get used to not writing it in as editors aren't too keen on taking on a novel that needs all the passive voice edited out.
Try saying 'kept', so the sentence would read:
'...on a terrible family secret(e-remove) that I had been keeping in my heart since my mother's death in Rome.
on a terrible family secret, I have kept in my heart since my mother's death in Rome.
Thanks for sharing your story, which was a pleasure to read and review, cheers, Ana.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2018
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Hi Niyuta, nice to see you in this piece of writing as i"m not sure if I have reviewed you before, or not. I liked your well-written story, and it will be interesting to see if they manage to go back to their old life.
I noticed this:
on a terrible family secret(e-remove) that I had been keeping in my heart since my mother's death in Rome.
The above words 'had been keeping' is passive voice and you seem to do it a bit, and I would suggest that you edit it out and get used to not writing it in as editors aren't too keen on taking on a novel that needs all the passive voice edited out.
Try saying 'kept', so the sentence would read:
'...on a terrible family secret(e-remove) that I had been keeping in my heart since my mother's death in Rome.
on a terrible family secret, I have kept in my heart since my mother's death in Rome.
Thanks for sharing your story, which was a pleasure to read and review, cheers, Ana.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2018
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Thank you Ana. I will do just that. My daughter pointed this out but I am from the old school of British writing styles, influenced by the 19th and 20th century writing styles and now find it hard to remember the changed rules. I have improved somewhat but sometimes it slips out of my mind. I just published my first novel-Wheel of Samsara-A Complete Circle, by Lulu Publishing. It is available at Lulu.com for a discounted price and also in a e-format. I hope you will enjoy reading it. If you do, please give me your comments on the website. Best wishes and many thanks. Arun
