Worlds
Viewing comments for Chapter 130 "Roadrunner World 7"Animal poetry and short stories
5 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I like your onamatopoeic pranka, Bill! And it also rhymes! So from your poem, I am guessing that the roadrunner actually moves much like the cartoon presented him.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
  |
I like your onamatopoeic pranka, Bill! And it also rhymes! So from your poem, I am guessing that the roadrunner actually moves much like the cartoon presented him.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
-
Until he SPLATZ into a wall.
Comment from nomi338
This is bad news indeed for the hungry, desperately downhearted and frustrated coyote. The very last thing he needs is a rested road runner, poised to zip down the road as break neck speeds, once again leaving the coyote in road runner dust.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
|
This is bad news indeed for the hungry, desperately downhearted and frustrated coyote. The very last thing he needs is a rested road runner, poised to zip down the road as break neck speeds, once again leaving the coyote in road runner dust.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
-
Turtles are pretty slow I guess.
Comment from judiverse
The guy has to rest once in a while. Excellent use of rhyme. I like the action words of zip, swish, swoosh, and zoom in your last line. They show speed and the sound is great when you read it. The roadrunner must be a dashing fellow when he does all that when running. judi
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
|
The guy has to rest once in a while. Excellent use of rhyme. I like the action words of zip, swish, swoosh, and zoom in your last line. They show speed and the sound is great when you read it. The roadrunner must be a dashing fellow when he does all that when running. judi
Comment Written 18-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
-
Thanks, Judi.
-
You're welcome. judi
Comment from Ginnygray
A tanka with correct numbers of syllables describing a roadrunner in the Southwest without a quest for one day to resume on the next days ahead in his usual zip, swish, swoosh, and zoom!
Tankas should not have end rhyme however nice this one is.
stumbled on some helpful guidelines to tanka writing put together by FanStory instructor Ray Griffin. I realise that some of my tanka this year have not always come up to this standard, but I promise to try harder in future. Here are those guidelines.
1. The haiku-like first three lines establish an EXTERNAL FOCUS often through the use of nature to set the tone and tenor for the tanka. The first two lines should be grammatically connected.
2. The last two lines serve to deliver EMOTIVE IMPACT to the reader. These lines should be grammatically connected.
3. The third line of the tanka must SERVE AS A SATORI on the first two lines AS WELL AS A PIVOT to begin the last two lines. It is this feature of tanka that most often fails in entries for FanStory tanka contests.
4. Tanka may not exceed 31 syllables but it may have less in short/long/short/long/long format.
5. Personification, metaphor, simile are permitted in tanka. Note wording here. This does not mean their presence is essential
6. Capitalisation and punctuation should be used only when necessary. i.e. proper nouns etc.
7. No end rhymes.
Pays 8 points and 42 member cents.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
|
A tanka with correct numbers of syllables describing a roadrunner in the Southwest without a quest for one day to resume on the next days ahead in his usual zip, swish, swoosh, and zoom!
Tankas should not have end rhyme however nice this one is.
stumbled on some helpful guidelines to tanka writing put together by FanStory instructor Ray Griffin. I realise that some of my tanka this year have not always come up to this standard, but I promise to try harder in future. Here are those guidelines.
1. The haiku-like first three lines establish an EXTERNAL FOCUS often through the use of nature to set the tone and tenor for the tanka. The first two lines should be grammatically connected.
2. The last two lines serve to deliver EMOTIVE IMPACT to the reader. These lines should be grammatically connected.
3. The third line of the tanka must SERVE AS A SATORI on the first two lines AS WELL AS A PIVOT to begin the last two lines. It is this feature of tanka that most often fails in entries for FanStory tanka contests.
4. Tanka may not exceed 31 syllables but it may have less in short/long/short/long/long format.
5. Personification, metaphor, simile are permitted in tanka. Note wording here. This does not mean their presence is essential
6. Capitalisation and punctuation should be used only when necessary. i.e. proper nouns etc.
7. No end rhymes.
Pays 8 points and 42 member cents.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
-
This is a pranka, which does whatever I want it to do. Thanks, though, for giving this a look, Ginny. Bill
-
Well now, thank you Bill for teaching me about a ?pranka ?. I have never heard of one of these! I was just trying to be helpful, Bill, thanks!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Great job, Bill, with your pranka. I enjoyed reading it. The picture is a perfect match for your well-chosen words. I really like the end rhymes. Your poem has a good message in the daily life of this bird. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
|
Great job, Bill, with your pranka. I enjoyed reading it. The picture is a perfect match for your well-chosen words. I really like the end rhymes. Your poem has a good message in the daily life of this bird. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 18-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
-
Thanks, Jan.
