Comment from --Turtle.

Excellent

Hey, Craig...

Read through this poem of the day. Enjoyed and put me in a contemplative mood.

transnivean trek
(nice alliteration, very pleasing to the ear, and because of the new word, gives a sense of curiosity what that trek might be)

reveals yet more of the same:
(Ah, here comes the understanding for the deja vu title, ties in nicely with the title)

the bear was correct
(I like the trek, correct sounds, and it instantly gave me the flash of the kid's song... the bear went over the mountain to see what he could see)

Part of me says things are always changing, yet they happen so slow, or the similarities are so striking, and our memories are kinda liquid, that we can't appreciate the changes... So is it that it's more of the same, or is it that we can't appreciate the details in the differences. Macro eyes, over a micro evaluation?

Sometimes, things change for the worse, sometimes for the better. Maybe even a little bit of both. Even when it's kind of subtle.

I myself went over a mountain this weekend, and it feels a lot like before I went over the mountain.

(Sorry, I'm about to babble. Before I took that trek over a mountain... I was down to one car between myself and my husmale, struggling with time, and a wee bit frazzled. Then my husband purchased a car. (So welcomed seeing the other side of that mountain. On the other side we crashed, and now I'm back to being down to one car between myself and my husmale, struggling with time, and a wee bit frazzled.

More of the same, yet things are also very different. A few more bruises, an odd fear of black ants... and less energy to get over the next mountain.

 Comment Written 30-May-2018

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reply by the author on 30-May-2018

That sucks, Turtle. To get a new vehicle, and then not to have it almost immediately. I know the feeling well, as that happened to me last weekend, when the vehicle I purchased the week before blew up a clutch - I'm expecting a repair bill of around $2000 - none of which is covered by warranty [sigh]. I assume no one was seriously injured in your crash, thankfully. The ants sounds like an intriguing tale. I hope you can get yours fixed, and at not too much expense. Cheers, Craig

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Sorry it took so long to review this delightful fiveseventyfive poem, Craig, but I was just listening to the song over and over and over again remembering all the different things we used to stick in when he got over the mountain. LOL. Those bears look a little on the thin side too.

Anyway couldn't have said it better myself, so good luck to you in the contest.

Gloria

 Comment Written 29-May-2018

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reply by the author on 30-May-2018

I don't know any alternative versions of this song, Gloria. I do know a version of "She'll be comin' round the mountain", which Jayne learned from her father and uncle - who were a fireman and a sailor, respectively. That was an eye opener ;-) Thanks muchly, Craig

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

What an interesting word, and I love how you use it alliteratively with a two word line one. Well done! Love the slant rhyme of trek and correct too. Works well. Lines one and three are strong, but line two could use some tweaking because 'more of the same' is cliche phrasing (IMHO) and it uses two fillers words, which weakens the word economy, especially with the word THE also coming in line three. Consider revising line two. BUt the poem is fine as it is, too.

Cute pic!

Good luck!

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 29-May-2018

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reply by the author on 30-May-2018

I think you probably have a very good point about line two there, RD. I will most certainly have a look at it in the next day or two. Most grateful, as always. Craig

reply by rama devi on 30-May-2018

:-)))))

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Ah like nieve for snow in Spanish. But "trans" is through so I wonder where the mountain part comes from in transnivean. Poor bear to have to go all that distance for more of the same.

 Comment Written 29-May-2018

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reply by the author on 29-May-2018

According to my book, Joseph Dalton Hooker (botanist, and best friend of Charles Darwin) wrote of "trans-nivean races" upon meeting the Lepcha people of Eastern India, because they seemed to have connections with the people of Tibet -i.e. those beyond the snow-covered mountains.

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Craig. I think I've been on some transnivean treks once in a while myself, so the bear has nothing on me. A fun little piece to showcase your new word. Marilyn

 Comment Written 29-May-2018

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reply by the author on 29-May-2018

Thanks very much Marilyn - haven't we all? Cheers, Craig

Comment from Pamusart

Excellent

A quote from the Bible, eh? Do you need a doctor or some Tylenol
For fever? Lol. I did not know this word. I often know or can derive from Latin roots a word you will feature. For this one, I had no clue. This is a good entry for the contest. Also, I forget how to spell deja vu and Hors d'Oeuvres. Auto correct does not know about the appetizers. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 29-May-2018

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reply by the author on 29-May-2018

LOL Pam - I'm entirely willing to misappropriate things to serve my point, from any number of sources, even that one ;-)

Thanks for the fun review - Craig

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

Craig, This is a very well written 5-7-5 poem you have penne about Deja Vu. You used very interesting words and I love the art work you chose to go with your words. I enjoyed reading and reviewing it. I saw no error or spag. Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 29-May-2018

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reply by the author on 29-May-2018

Many thanks, Teri. I'm glad you liked it, and always value your comments - Craig

Comment from Old Soldier

Excellent

A 5-7-5 is that right. I am not good with this type of writing. I like things straight forward. But I did check out some of the other reviews so I might get an Idea as to what's going on here. Just being honest. From what I've read its good. God luck and keep writing.

 Comment Written 29-May-2018

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reply by the author on 29-May-2018

Firstly, thank you very much for the honesty in your comments. That's not something which can be taken for granted.

Yes, it's a 5-7-5, and they can sometimes seem "obscure", because there's not a lot of words to convey a message.

However, the idea here is not particularly "deep" - in the children's song, the bear travels over the mountain in search of something - perhaps a different world, or somewhere where the grass is greener, but all he finds is more of the same. And often, when we look around us, that's what we find -- how much really changes?

Anyway, those were my ideas behind this. I just mention them because I thought you deserved it for being straightforward enough to tell me you didn't get it. And thank you for not adjudging it worthy of a "one star" simply because it didn't make sense to you.

I value your review, sincerely.

Craig

Comment from Wendy Winter

Excellent

This is cute. I am trying to learn more about this particular type of poem and was thrilled to see yours. It is incredibly fun to ponder what animals may be thinking. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 29-May-2018

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reply by the author on 29-May-2018

Thanks very much, Wendy. I think they can be fun. Some people specialise in them, whereas I only do one very occasionally (as you can probably tell). Hope to see some from you in the not too distant future :) Craig

reply by Wendy Winter on 29-May-2018

Your Welcome

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written 5-7-5 and a great interpretation of the Bible verse. When we experience something for the first time does not necessarily means it did not happened before.

 Comment Written 29-May-2018

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reply by the author on 29-May-2018

Thanks very much Sandra. Indeed it doesn't. Most grateful - Craig