Briarly Hall
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "New Horizons"Historical fiction
3 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Zanya, I like the chapter a lot but I think there are a few things I would like to point out:
We can have afternoon tea at the 'Olde England tea shoppe? = 'Olde England Tea Shoppe?' Tea shoppe will have tobe capitalisesed unless you mean tea shop
Their scones and spring marmalade are excellent, I am told'. = I'm told. More natural, that's how we speak
She is not at all well and has requested my presence. = She's not ... same as above(More natural speach)
Drat, young man,'Eames continued,' fetch a brush and dust scoop from the kitchen and clean up the mess. 'Eames continued' is not needed. Reads much better without. We already know who's speaking.
he hastened to escort her to the tea shoppe. = 'Tea Shoppe' or tea shop.
I hope this help. All the best. Ulla;)))
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Hi Zanya, I like the chapter a lot but I think there are a few things I would like to point out:
We can have afternoon tea at the 'Olde England tea shoppe? = 'Olde England Tea Shoppe?' Tea shoppe will have tobe capitalisesed unless you mean tea shop
Their scones and spring marmalade are excellent, I am told'. = I'm told. More natural, that's how we speak
She is not at all well and has requested my presence. = She's not ... same as above(More natural speach)
Drat, young man,'Eames continued,' fetch a brush and dust scoop from the kitchen and clean up the mess. 'Eames continued' is not needed. Reads much better without. We already know who's speaking.
he hastened to escort her to the tea shoppe. = 'Tea Shoppe' or tea shop.
I hope this help. All the best. Ulla;)))
Comment Written 20-May-2018
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Had Eames taken leave of his senses, Henry wondered(?).
Henry helped Eames with his mackintosh. Eames donned his tweed cap and hastened to escort Mrs Goodwood to the tea shoppe.
Henry, gave a sigh of relief on hearing the iron gate slam shut...Oh this story and your writing intrigues me. I enjoyed this story and want to read more. A very well written work and very enjoyable well done this is excellent kindest regards Meia x
reply by the author on 19-May-2018
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Had Eames taken leave of his senses, Henry wondered(?).
Henry helped Eames with his mackintosh. Eames donned his tweed cap and hastened to escort Mrs Goodwood to the tea shoppe.
Henry, gave a sigh of relief on hearing the iron gate slam shut...Oh this story and your writing intrigues me. I enjoyed this story and want to read more. A very well written work and very enjoyable well done this is excellent kindest regards Meia x
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 19-May-2018
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Delighted with this review -thanks for taking time to read zanya
Comment from Katya
Nice read. I think the ye olde Englishe stuffe is laid on a bit too thick, but tastes differ, and I don't know your intended audience for this book. I wonder, too, what the narrator's point of view is in terms of social class.
reply by the author on 19-May-2018
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Nice read. I think the ye olde Englishe stuffe is laid on a bit too thick, but tastes differ, and I don't know your intended audience for this book. I wonder, too, what the narrator's point of view is in terms of social class.
Comment Written 19-May-2018
reply by the author on 19-May-2018
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Loved this review especially 'ye olde English stuffe' comment -must be the Royal Wedding lol - zanya
